When I wrote: "Many of them are lazy and it is work to be free and to be responsible for my own life and my own behavior.", I mean this.
When I was a Witness I was lazy and irresponsible in accepting all presented to me by the group leaders. Some of my acceptance was by silent disagreement. I revered the group book publishers and foolishly protected their outrageous claims of appointment to authority. I advertised their current predictions and defended their past failures.
It was easy for me to thoughtlessly do the meetings and fundraising. These were rituals and comfortable. When I was a Witness I rarely read a book cover to cover and if I did it was with an attitude of acceptance. When I researched the Watch Tower Corporation and religion and theism, I read over 200 books and wrote volumes. I wrote a thesis on every subject imaginable. They are in binders and take up a good deal of shelf space.
I accumulated a Watch Tower Publishing Corporation library and read and researched that for myself. I read all Russell's writings as well as all of Rutherford's except a few booklets I do not have. I studied line by line and compared the different versions of the Let God Be True book that was used to indoctrinate me as a adolescent.
I studied psychology, sociology and philosophy as well as studied the history of the Hebrew people, Judaism, manners, rituals, customs and festivals both historical and modern. I interviewed priests, rabbis, and I tried to interview and investigate the Jehovah's Witnesses directly but they would not allow me to do that.
I read the Koran and the Book Of The Dead. I researched the history of the book called The Bible as well as the concept of god and superstitions of all sorts, hypnosis, NLP, and the psychology, practices and principles of influence and persuasion.
I realized there would be no magic to rescue me from the reality of aging and retirement so I went to school and studied and worked in business to help educate my sons and provide for my wife and myself. I set up retirement plans and accounts and have spent time helping others do the same.
I studied the english language and looked up words I had been using and guessing at the meanings like *condone* and *apologize*. I took every one of my core beliefs that I could identify and set out to prove or dis-prove them. Many were flawed. Some were dead men's delusions that I had accepted as fact. Some were fine and others I have set aside, not to use until I have time to evaluate them.
All this has helped me to become skeptical of miracles that I have not witnessed myself, extraordinary claims made without extraordinary proof, and all claims of superhuman powers.
One of my most fascinating studies was the study of magic and illusions. I can easily be fooled by what I see with my own eyes. The lesson is this: What I see is not always the reality. What other people tell me is often wrong. My perception is often wrong. What other people believe has no relevance at all in my life. Misplaced trust has caused disaster for untold millions.
Best wishes to all.