by nativenyr23 45 Replies latest social relationships
COMF: It's that THRILL that i've never experienced BECKONING me!!!!!!!!!
I know its WRONG, WRONG DIRTY AND WRONG......and VERY aware of the legal issues involved (i'm a paralegal!).
But attorneys are NOTORIOUS VIOLATORS......and besides, he has EVERYTHING to lose, me - just a job.
i wanna....i don't.....i wanna.....i don't.......UGH!!!!!
this is driving me nutz.
Native
Native,
Whenever you have a fight between your heart and your head, listen to the side with the brains!
Yep, been there, done that years ago at a job with a co-worker. I think the best time was at a company picnic-we snuck off into the woods for quite some time. We got some smart remarks when we returned, but the funny part was, so many were taking walks in the woods that day in between picnic activities, LMAO!!!
Boozy
Two things, native.
First, you need to realize and accept what it is that you're talking about. He's not going to leave his family for you (and if he did, you don't want a cheat for a husband anyway). It's not love, it's just lust. Get that straight at the start. Lust is a wonderful thing, it makes the world go round, but you don't want to be confusing it with commitment or respect or a rose-covered cottage or any of that stuff. It will be sex, and only sex, for the duration of the affair. Accept it, and throw away any blinders you might have inadvertently put on.
Second. if you do it you will need a parachute. You will most certainly lose your job, and if the circumstances become well-known in the circles you travel in, it may be hard to find another. So make sure you have your own ass covered before you jump in. Got a savings account that you can blow on about three or four months of unemployment? Got connections and prospects for another job right away? Got your personal affairs in order in case of a big change, like having to move somewhere else to get work?
If you can take care of both of these issues, then you're cleared for takeoff. Otherwise, you can't handle it... don't.
Thanks COMF
I know what you're saying. and i don't want him to leave anybody!! don't wanna husband. just want some fun. DON'T WANT the commitment.
Don't worry. i'm more bark than anything. don't think i'll bite.
I'll just enjoy the sexual tension for as long as possible.
You going to Valis's tonight? I don't have address and am dying to go since I missed Wednesday.
Native
I'm playing a gig with my band tonight, but there's a chance we will get away from there fairly early, like around 10:30 or so. If that's the case, then depending on how I feel (four hours of pounding a drumset is a damned respectable workout) I may come by Valis's for a while to see what's up.
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention, at least here in the US, is sexual harassment laws. What can happen is A and B have anything from innuendo and flirting to actual sex, and later if the relationship tanks one of them files a complaint against the other. "Today's fling may become tomorrow's filing," as one expert put it in an article some time back. One says it was consensual; the other says they felt coerced. Who's right? Just a big headache for companies too.
The trouble is it adds an element of excitement to an otherwise dull workday, or it makes one feel good about themselves (what guy doesn't like an attractive woman talking with him--and the reverse?), but as noted by others can create enormous problems between previously-equal co-workers.
Another reason to avoid it--for women--is there's already enough stereotypes about women "sleeping their way to the top" (an accusation made against Microsoft head honcho Bill Gates' wife Melinda) and the real fact that there are women (my line at work, on the day shift, had a supervisor like this, imho) who would use sex appeal on the job. She'd flirt, bat her eyes, tell about her sex life and make sure her tits were noticeable.
The point being that women like that make it more difficult for those who want to succeed at work because of their talents. If only one of ten do that, it's assumed the other nine will eventually, in the minds of some. So whatever one does has an effect far beyond her own individual situation.
I can think of situations where guys might be able to use their looks to similar advantage, but we rarely hear about it.
Kingpawn: Yes, i am very aware of the U.S. Sexual Harassment laws (i'm a paralegal, and "he" is an attorney)....
In corporate america, companies enforce these to the T. You would be amazed however, how LAW FIRMS find the loopholes. I've worked in Employment Law and know -
And yes, usually the woman holds all the cards, and the guy gets shafted.
But this is a very powerful feeling for a woman knowlegeable in employment law.
*sigh*
I just think that you "Need to deaden therefore your body members as respects......"
OK OK just teasing. Diana, you could get your feelings hurt. You could get pregnant, You could get a disease like AIDS.
The old cliche holds true even now; "The only way to 100% avoid these things is by abstinance."
If you must have a romance. PLEASE find someone who isn't at your place of employment and be VERY careful......
Yours
Chelbie
Well in my profession there is alot of it to be had. I work at an major US airline so thats ='s lots of flight attendants. Haven't done anything but I've found myslef flying to new york,LA and places everywhere on my days off having lunch with some pretty women. It's amazing.
The good: got out of town for the day
The bad: thats about all I got
