How Common is this amongst JW's? (page 3)

Windchaser

((((KJELL)))) Thank you for your warm greetings. It is very nice to meet you.

Every Sunday my grandfather (I loved him very much) would sit at the dining room table to write to his mother in Sweden. He had Swedish names of endearment that he called my sister and me, but I can't spell them. My grandmother would make Ludfisk (along with many other traditional dishes) on the holidays and my grandfather made the most delicious Swedish pancakes every Saturday morning for our breakfast.

Although I was raised in a Swedish household, my lifelong desire was to go back to my birthplace in Panama and meet my father. I did, several years ago, and was so happy to meet my family there. I would also like to meet my family in Sweden, but my grandfather's name was J. Iver Johnson and I think it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. They left me no records and all my family, except my sister, is dead now. Kjell, for all I know, we could be related!

Greetings from San Diego!

Love,

Wind

zev

whoa! The thoughts that go through my head on this subject!

i was raised in Rhode Island, and later moved to Massachusetts. All throughout my life "in" the dubland i saw that total lack of love. i could list example after example, and there are SO many.

Here are only 2.

one

Just before I left, my mother in law who is in a nursing facility confined to a wheel chair and is baptized, started to attend bible readings that a local priest would do daily at the home. Word got out, as there were two dubs working in the home, and reported this back to my former wife, her daughter. She felt it was the right thing to do to call up one of the elders and report her and turned her own mother in, for going to nothing more than going to a bible reading.

I was stunned.

What happened next was even more disturbing.

She and I were called into the back room. Two elders talked to us and informed us that they had gone to see her about this, and that because she is elderly, that she may not be in her right mind, and they didnt feel there was an apostasy going on.

No kidding dick tracy. She was lonely and wanted to hear something read from gods word, the bible, and thats all there was to it. I cant even believe that such a big deal was made out of this.

Love at its finest huh? Even amonst family. Its really sad.

Two

The last circuit assembly I attended sometime last year, I was a tad late for. No bother to me, but you know how we were always counseled to not be late? Well, I walked in, from the back so as to disturb as few as possible. I watched as the attendants sat some people and was waiting patiently, for our turn. It never came. The attendants sat down and left us standing there, and we literally had to go find our own seats, disturbing who knows how many people until we found some.

I have seen many examples over the years.

It still amazes me that people who call themselves loving show so little.

Bona Dea

Most persons on this board would be thrilled to have the JW's walk right by their door.

LOL...I know my life would be a heluva lot easier now, if they had never knocked on my door (and my husband hadn't have answered it)

RAVEN 101: awesome words.

Trotafox

HOT TOPIC FOR ME......

LACK OF LOVE and PRESSURE TO PERFORM: These were two of my biggest complaints. I was in 3 different congregations in 11 years and was really only accepted socially in one of those. I changed congregations only because I had to move when I brought my mother down from Ohio. I couldn't understand the cold treatment. I was always friendly and pleasant with everyone. I participated in WT discussions. I took notes like crazy in the Sunday talks. I went to as many meetings as I could. I loved Jehovah.

I had been single for 27 years so I was pretty self-sufficient and I think they saw a problem with this. They saw an independent streak . Hey, no one else was around to take care of me so I had to do it myself or crater. I was busier than a one-armed paper hanger with a full-time job, no assistance from anyone with the house since I wasn't married and wasn't rich nor dating, and I had an elderly mother to take care of, and I had health problems. Making all 5 meetings a week and service on weekends on a regular basis was impossible. I just couldn't do all of it and they ostracized me for not being more active. I was constantly being told to reach out and do more. What is this? I have to EARN your love and understanding? Oh, Ple-e-e-e-se. Talk about conditional! What's that about "....my yoke is light"???? Not the Watchtower's!

In the the 11 years that I was a JW, I received only 2 elder visits which were sort of "introduction" visits when I changed congregations. With all the pressure of my job, my mother's problems, and my health problems, I was having a hard time getting to meetings and went inactive for a year. The sisters told me "just get in one meeting a week and increase it when you can". So I went back to try again. Well, evidently I wasnt' moving fast enough for them! The more the elders pushed, the further I retreated in order to maintain control! The further I retreated the colder they and the friends got and that includes my best "friend?" of 26 years. I was bound and determined they weren't going to push me into another "burnout" situation again. They didn't like it and probably saw it as INDEPENDENT THINKING. Thinking not allowed!

I then received 7 "drop in unannounced" visits in six months which were nerve wracking for both me and my mother. Plus phone calls everytime I missed a book study (I had an over-zealous book study elder in the Sawgrass congregation...Ft. Lauderdale FL area). All I wanted was some understanding; not harrassment. This kind of treatment didn't seen very loving to me and I had a gut feeling something wasn't right about the Watchtower. Then I found the INTERNET. Mind you, I didn't have access to the Internet previous to this. I purchased a new computer and got on the Internet. Oh forget it. What an eye opener. Now I had evidence that my gut feeling was right along. I DA'd as quick as I could.

God's organization, my foot! What a bunch of hypocrites and liars!

Trot (free and glad to be out...yes-s-s-s-)

Edited by - Trotafox on 7 July 2002 12:50:37

Nowfree

I left the org in October 01 and received ONE visit from the elders, who said they would call back.................I'm still waiting!!!!!

Not that I am wanting them to call - but if they are doing what they are supposed to be doing - they should have called back!!

If you are in the accepted "group" at the kingdom hall then you are ok all the while you are jumping through all the right hoops, and are not questionning any of it. The moment you do - you are dropped so quickly!

As i have said before - THEIR LOSS!

Nowfree

Kjell Hedblom

WINDCHASER!!

Hi again! Lol,Ludfisk is spelled Lutfisk in swedish and we normally dont have that until late November and mostly December.So in Sweden we have to wait until then to est it.But it taste gooooood!!! And about the name of Johnson,yep u are right thats a very commend name in Sweden but mostly they spelled it Jonsson or Johnsson and its a name that Many many people have so it not easy to find a relative.

Hugs again to you and your love ones

from Kjell hedblom with Family

joannadandy

There is a theory that was formed by family that you have to spend a good two years in a new congregation before people remember your name and perhaps invite you over. Much Christian love indeed.

In fact, moving to a hall made it too easy for me to stop going. That is until my parents started going there to. I am pretty convinced if I had been on my own, I could have silently walked away and no one would have recalled what happened to that one girl who used to come to the meetings...

Windchaser

KJELL, yes we only had lutfisk (told ya I couldn't spell!) on Thanksgiving and Christmas. When I became a jw, the only problem she had with it was that I couldn't celebrate Christmas. I wish I could take the 30 years back that I was a jw and love my "worldly" family.

Getting back to the subject of this thread, it really makes me sick that I gave up my family so that I could be lonely in a cult. Such a waste!

Country Girl

Hello Kjell and Wind:

I am also of Swedish descent, and have been enjoying your posts. My kinfolk came from Varmland, Sweden. I'm third generation. Our family last names were: Helberg, Errikson, Johnson, Nelson, Gustafson. My cousin works at the car manufacturing company in Gottenborg. Lots of different names! I personally dont' like lutefisk, but lots of my relatives do! Nice to meet you Mr. Kjell and Wind, and I hope that I can read more of your posts in the future!

I found my experience to be of both kinds in the Witnesses. One congregation (my Swedish grandmother's) was small, rural, and *very* loving. The other one (mine) in the City was rough, gossipy, cliquish, etc. I was on the fringe because my Father was an unbeliever, but the brothers were always right there to tell my Mother how to discipline her six young children. Pffffft... Love? Not in that congo.

Country Girl

Bang

It's normal behaviour for fornicators - the spiritual kind. They show you some 'love' so they can score, but it's not love, and yet in a funny way they call it 'love' and try and imagine it to be.

Bang

How Common is this amongst JW's?

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