How Common is this amongst JW's? (page 2)

Jesika

I was one of the ones with the "popular" last name. The only attention I remember getting was to watch how I was going to bring reproach on my family's name. The other kids in the cong didn't want to get too close for fear I would tell on them to the elders in the cong (which all but two were family members). I had attention in the KH but after I got disfellowshipped, as we all know, it stopped. I remember wishing that I didn't have the name that I did. I do agree with what everyone is saying, since I saw my father do the same thing with people he studied with. As soon as they were baptized it was no longer his responsibility. Sad but very true!!!!! Jesika Thoman

RedhorseWoman

This was exactly the reason why I became inactive. Growing up as a JW, I followed the Society's advice and gave up worldly friends. My mom didn't drive, and there were no Witness kids nearby, so other than at the meetings, I had no one with whom to socialize.

Since my dad was not in the "truth" that put my mother and I at a disadvantage in the social pecking order and we were never invited anywhere. It hurt, and I kept wondering where all the "love" was amongst brothers, but for years I stuffed the feelings and told myself not to look at "imperfect men".

After I married, my husband became quite ill and was laid up for six months. No one visited, no one called, no one sent cards....even though I repeatedly asked the elders to announce my husband's illness. Rumor got out, though, that my husband had started smoking, and within days there were three elders at the door threatening to disfellowship. My husband asked for a study because he was very discouraged and the elders agreed. Three weeks later, one elder called to apologize for not showing up for the study because he "forgot" about it. Then he never bothered to show up in the future.

I became sporadically inactive after that, and frequently asked for help to re-activate myself....to no avail.

The lack of love along with the lying, hypocrisy, cliques, gossip and backbiting were what eventually caused me to leave for good. It wasn't until I was out for some time that I even began to question doctrine.

heathen

In the voice of the nelson character from the simpson cartoon -------HA HA

SixofNine

Cool how you are using your name Jesika. I'll vouch for the fact that she is from one of the "popular" families in the circuit. Your experience just goes to show.... even when it should be good for JW's, it's bad, lol.

Give me a shout, we know alot of the same people, I'm sure.

As to the original post, even if it isn't literally having them walk past your door, the cold nature of most congregations towards "weak" (and that usually means "depressed") people is gut wrenching, especially when you think about the fact that to those weak ones, this is a measure of how GOD himself views you. This is usually a witnesses biggest, most important measure of self-worth. I know that pain and self-doubt.

raven101

The fact is the congregations are precisely like the rest of the world despite their assertion to the contrary, some 'good' some 'bad' in every one and whether you consider it more one or the other depends on your own perspective and situation in the organization . . . just like everywhere else.

There is not one iota of evidence that they have any more love than any other org. in fact there appears to be less, and maybe that has to do with the lack of social propriety encouraged by their policies and beliefs.

As far as how their behavior fails to jibe with their own bible, I have noticed through this thread, and in my own personal experience as well one particularly disturbing trend. The organizations failure to extend even common consideration to women with children and either non-existent or non-believing spouses. Not that I care to look it up but there is a scripture that speaks of caring for widows and fatherless children. Their behaviour in the largest part is quite the opposite.

In all my many years of dealing with numerous congregations I saw the same cliquish behaviour and social tendencies in them as I see all around the world. They are no less a part of the world than any other religion, whatever they may like to propound.

In my experience with this religion I saw no more indeed if anything LESS joy amongst the people than is evidenced in the average group of humans. It makes sense that there would be less joy as they are damning such a large population of the earth in their minds.

How can people be happy believing their own natural heart tendencies are dirty and despicable? How can someone be happy if they believe natural physical acts are vile and disgusting? How could anyone have any sense of evident hope and security if they believe in damnation, whether of themselves or other humans? How can you feel love if you are taught to hate and mistrust . . . not only your own inclinations but the entire world around you?

These people, this organization is no better than any other and worse than some.

Only when people throw all religion away and listen to their hearts can the conditions they all seem to long for become manifest.

raven101

Gopher

Jesika,

Sorry that your last name wasn't a pass to popularity. Of course, what I said cannot apply universally. Things work differently in different areas. I too was an elder's child, and came under close scrutiny for the same reason you did. It in part led to me putting on a brave front, while wishing I could be more like the other kids.

Raven101, that was an EXCELLENT diagnosis of the social conditions within the average JW congregation! Well said!

Gopher

Carly887

I was raised a witness and my father once was removed as an elder and the second time he stepped down. I never really had any friends or anyone that cared to associate with me because i was a thinking being that questioned everything. I scared off the witnesses because as my father puts it "you are not to have independent thought" That is what they actually told him at a elders meeting with the curcuit overseer. I am very sorry they did not say stop and say hello to you but you know all they care about is their own salvation. When have you ever known a witness to be truly giving?

bikerchic

My complaint for years..........WHERE IS THE LOVE AMOUNGST THE JW'S? And to think I was always told; "it's not like this everywhere just in this area. You must pray more for a change", ha!

bikerchic

"Life is like a 10 speed bike we all have gears we never use." Charles Schultz

Gopher

Carly887,

There are exceptions to the rule... You asked, when have you ever known a Witness to be truly giving?

I know one in St. Paul, MN. She is a pioneer, grandmother and wife of an elder. Always baking goodies and having snacks available for anyone who stops, young or old. She allowed her kids to play with the worldy kids in the neighborhood, and her door was always open to anyone. She was one who everybody thought of as their friend, as one who they could be comfortable around, because she would listen non-judgmentally, and wouldn't take sides in personal disputes (even though people from opposite sides often came to her to seek advice).

And she and her husband (who is the secretary of their local congregation) miss meetings each summer to tend to their cabin up in the north woods!

I would dare say she'd associate with me, a DF"d person, if it weren't such a huge risk for her in the organization, what with her husband being an elder. Two of her 3 kids are still JW"s, but the first one never took to the JW philosophy, and even married a famous author (who has appeared on shows like Good Morning America). Yet that first son is treated the same as the JW kids by all in their family.

I wish I knew more JW's like this pioneer sister and her husband.

Windchaser

Raven, you mentioned the scripture about orphaned children. Everytime that scripture was cited, my heart would sink, because I knew that the brothers weren't living up to it and it had taken a toll on my children and me.

I agree that jws aren't any better or worse than the world. It is just their arrogance in thinking that they are the Truth and everyone else dog poop that is a little more obvious than the rest.

How Common is this amongst JW's?

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