I COULDN'T DO IT!!!! (page 2)

Perfection Seeker

My mother wouldn't respect my asking "Please give me space" or "Don't discuss religion" because it means my "life" I have said it a zillion times- she said "If you saw a child on a railroad track- and a train coming- wouldn't you go help him off?" I said "Yes, but if it was an adult........" :-) My mother is weird. If she wasn't a witness, I would think she was demon possessed! She is so freaky! I even told her I thought the organization is a cult- and looked up the definition with her- she said "Then it is a cult- cause all this is true, but it is for our own good" I told her she was brainwashed, she said "Then Jehovah must have thought I needed brainwashing" I say- you can't make up your own mind- the organization tells you what to do & say & think , she says "They put YEARS & YEARS of training, translating, scholars, research- and I trust them that they know what is best for me" Then, I said- how do you think your family felt when you joined a cult? She said "I went from smoking, doing drugs, not caring, drinking, to straightening up my life & becoming a better person" I said- "I left the organization, stopped drinking, smoking & doing drugs, and became a good christian" Then of course she said I was never a witness, and with my new understanding & "adulthood" & christian outlook I should give it another try. Oh, today she said "The sign of the TRUE religion- as in her talk or part Thursday night 1) Tell others Gods name 2) Love among themselves- not sure what else. Well, the church I go to has love amongst themselves, and they WANT to be there- and don't just go so they don't get in trouble! I told my mom I had no intentions of being a second generation witness- just because I was raised in it- and it was time to question my faith. Then she said at the district convention, instead of saying we are in the last days- they said- FINAL PHASE- whatever the hell that meant. Oh, she said the ark door was closed long before it started raining, so it might already be too late for me.......................................... So, you mean I won't get to spend eternity with you & a bunch of other witnesses? How sad...............

SweatPea

((((((((((((Perfection Seeker)))))))))))))) While reading your post I was thinking........ Which is worse, having your family disassociate from you or having them around, coming to your home, calling on the phone etc? See, my siblings will talk to me, but I have to go to their homes. They do not and have not ever been to my home. The only time they call is if there is a death in our family and the person that passed has to be a very close relative (aunts, cousins and etc. do not count). It has hurt so many times when I have asked about so and so and they tell me "Oh, they passed away". One of my brothers is an Elder. Last October he asked when was I coming back. I told him never and then I went on to explain to him as to why. He didn't go into any details as to why I should come back, only that they love me. That was the end of the subject. He didn't pursue and try to change my thinking. But you know what? In their on way, I know that they do love me. Years ago my nephew and I had a discussion about the shunning and other things. He had an answer for everything I disagreed with. They are programed that way.

I have read about all of your posts and I have to agree with Jewel, nativenyr23 and Outlaw. Slow down. Don't let this consume you or eat you alive. Take it easy and let your mother talk. In time you will come to terms with all of it. I know you want your family to see what they are practicing is wrong. Remember, that is what a cult is. They take over your brain. It's called mind control.

I got on antidepressants yet again this week

Be strong and hang in there.

Wendy

Hey PS

I think for your own sanity, you need to come to a decision on where your relationship is heading. If you set boundries, then you will only be slightly dissapointed. Do you want her and your family out? Seriously think over that pro and con. Do you want them to respect your decision to join a church? Let me tell ya, it will never happen as long as they are in. Are you willing to lead a double life so to speak, and not share fully with her all of your activities? Could possibly be the best thing for you to do now.

I have often felt as you, and wished there was some magic sentence, to make them take off their blinders. We have to remember how hard it was for us to leave and decide never ever to return. I guarantee if we took a poll, most here had doubts at one time and thought of returning or actually returned.

You are right, they have a great party line, and an answer for everything! On the outside it appears that way, but if you break it down, and make them stick to one subject(very hard to do) you can combat them on each point. As for the signs of a true religion, I heard that line a hundred times and have the t-shirt Even those points can be combatted as long as they stick to each point (very hard to do) I was so overjoyed to have my mother agree and concede on a few points...but she is still in and shunning me. That is where the disappointment comes in.

Mucho ((((((hugs)))))

wendy

ItsJustlittleoldme

I say- you can't make up your own mind- the organization tells you what to do & say & think , she says "They put YEARS & YEARS of training, translating, scholars, research- and I trust them that they know what is best for me"

PS: Mom, you do realize that these people are just men, and are fallable, correct?

Mom: Yes, of course.. You know that as well as I know that.. They make mistakes, as do all humans.

PS: And you don't mind following these men, even if they do make mistakes?

Mom: They know what is best for me.

PS: So, even though they may make mistakes, and in some instances these mistakes can effect you and your life, you don't mind following them?

Mom: That's right, the men know what is best for me.

PS: Then why does Jesus specifically reproove the Pharisee's in the bible for following the doctrines of men? Can you explain to me why you are not a modern day Pharisee, following the dictates of men, knowing they are flawed, and yet living by their every word?

Mom: Blank stare

(If she contradicts herself at any time, remind her of what she said previously --- gently of course --)

-- Ever played Jeapordy? Your answer must be in the form of a question!

Edited by - itsjustlittleoldme on 6 July 2002 15:8:13

Perfection Seeker

You guys are so cool :-) Someday, in a year or so, if the system lasts-lol- I will be just like you- helping some newbie figure things out :-) Funny, when my mom left- I was hot- but time & reading these posts makes it less important. Thanks once again! Send me the bill! :-)

Jim_TX

"Got on antidepressants yet again this week- cause of all the preaching & pushing she is doing- and I am not able to push back- and for me, whos family ties are SOO strong- "

PS - I do not have any 'good advice' - other than agreeing with what others have already said.

But - from your own words - you must realize that - even though you are 'out' you are still being affected - especially if you are having to take anti-depressants. That is REALLY bad.

Please try to find a way to get control over the situation soon.

If they are e-mailing you - and it is nothing more than 'witnessing' in those e-mails - send a reply notifying them that you are putting them on e-mail 'block' - and DO IT!!

Block their e-mails - you do NOT need to accept e-mails - even from family members - if it makes you ill. (Taking anti-depressants qualifies for 'being ill'.)

Lastly - stick close to your husband. He is wiser than you may realize right now.

Regards,

Jim TX

NewLight2

When she mentions that you have "left Jehovah", explain to her that the "organization" is NOT the same as "Jehovah". Then ask her to explain why she feels you have left "Jehovah" vs an organization. When she uses things like not attending meetings etc, try to get her to see that you CAN still "love Jehovah" because Jehovah is not the same as the Organization. Make HER prove that claim from the Bible. Place the burden of proof on her, not yourself. That will also give you an opening to discuss things with her like the UN issue. Get her to question the "organization" by planting seeds of doubt in her mind. NewLight2

ItsJustlittleoldme

PS:

First, and above all, remember, take care of yourself!!! Your husband is quite correct, you can only be a victim if you let yourself be a victim!!!

Heal youself, and if you keep getting those emails, feel free to post them here (with any personal stuff removed).. I'm sure alot of people here would love to help you write reply emails... !!!!

Good luck, and above all, take care of yourself!!! I'm sure what you are going through is not easy, but many of the people here can help if you let them!!!

Love, and peace be with you,

- me

Perfection Seeker

You guys are so cool! Is there a limit to how many times I can say that? :-) Someone posted "Tell your mom you left the organization, not Jehovah" I have told her this MANY times, and she always says- in the bible- there has ALWAYS been one TRUE organization. There was only ONE ark that saved people, blah blah blah. They have a concrete wall up, and there is no way to tear it down. I guess I really don't want to have her leave "THE TRUTH" because she is happy, and it works for her. BUT, doing what I am doing works for me- I can respect her- but she can't respect me. Oh well, I have till next Saturday to plan my next strategy! Thanks! MELISSA

Prisca

I can't add any more than what all the others have said, but just wanted you to know that I am in the same situation as you with my family, and I fully understand what it's like.

Hang in there, and join in me in trying to follow some of the great advice given. Never give up hope!

I COULDN'T DO IT!!!!

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