Yea, Me too....

flower

I'm grateful for the friends I've made here and hope to continue relationships with them however this board has reached the 'more harmful than good' stage for me as well so I'm going to have to move on.

I've recently began re-question my decision to leave the jw's and have been wondering if we arent all really screwed up as is believed to be the case by jw's. I need to go back and re-read all the exjw literature to prove to myself all over again that we are normal and ok and victims of a fraudulent cult. Lately I dont know. There is so much cruelty and psycho shit that goes on around here and when I think about it its always been this way. I cant even admit to some of the jwish thoughts that I revert back to when I see some of the crap that goes on in xjw communities. I dont know what the deal is.

Either way its impossible for me to stay here as things are set up now. I dont know where my support is going to come from since I've relied on this board for the past 6 months or so. But I'm really extremely tired of feeling like I have to defend myself for things I havent done and I'm tired of opening threads that might be interesting and finding them to be pure and utter cruelty and crap and then having to bite my tongue because whatever someone says no matter how respectful, honest and fair someone tries to be theres always someone who will make a personal attack and disrespect and act childish.

I have to be honest..I hate leaving here, I'm not whole or healed by any stretch of the imagination. I need the positive conversations and support and information I get here. But the trolls win this time. Because its impossible to get the good without the bad. Yup, its your time to celebrate all you trolls, youve managed to chase me off. Horray for you! Another victory.

I think everyone who wants it has my email or phone, feel free to check in once in a while..I have a feeling I'm going to need to hear a friendly understanding voice now and then.

flower

hillary_step

Flower,

Mail me when you get a moment.

Best - HS

Joyzabel

"a friendly, understanding voice" will be calling you

Hugs,

Joy

larc

Flower, Please remember that the number of trouble makers here is very small, and those who are supportive of you is quit large. Ignore the bad and absorb the good, is may advice. Since your email is not open, please email me if you would like to further communicate with me. Regards, your old uncle Larc.

obiwan

I'm sorry,what ever it was or wasn't that I said flower.

Imbue

She'll be back in an hour...

Amazing

Hi Flower: I second Larc's comments. Also, when we had the last big board flame-out, you were among the ones to encourage forgiveness and moving in a positive direction, and I appreciate that about you. We need more Flowers here on this board.

LyinEyes

Flower, I will miss you , I know you have been thru alot . Please know that you can email me anytime you need to vent or just talk. I will give you my cell number when I email you. I hope that you can count on me to be understanding , because I know how you feel. I am always questioning if I am doing the right thing leaving the JW, even thou I know it is the right thing. But still it takes time to break all the emotional bonds you have with something you loved so much at one time. It just doesnt happen overnite. I have had trouble with this and would love to chat to a supportive and non judgement friend on this. Take care of yourself and that baby. Love ya, Dede

WildHorses

Flower, I know it is easier said than done, but just ignore those who try get a rise out of you? I always look at it this way............If I know i'm right, I don't give a damn what someone else says.(as far as people saying I said something I didn't)

You say you need the support you get from here. If this is truely the case, just take a few days to calm down and then come back.

Lilacs

Sentinel

Dear Flower,

You have been doubting. You have been thinking for yourself. Now you feel guilty............but, yes, you do owe it to yourself to prove them absolutely wrong. I challenge you to do just that. Don't just leave because some things don't suit you personally. But, look into the doctrines. There are some very good, honest, straightforward books out there that discuss JW's from the "insider's view" and the "outsider's view".

Before I left, even as a teen, I knew there were things they discussed that "sounded" so good, so soothing to the soul. The fairytale stories of a paradise earth and the scriptures lined up to back everything. So much of it is done just like the other religions--pulling texts from here and there and everywhere, taken out of context to make a point. That just doesn't work. That is not truth. And, for me the way "things changed" back and forth, the way they would say the "light" is getting brighter, when all of us were suffering. I found the lack of joy and no freedom of thought, speech and activity terribly confining and stiffling. And, bottom line, you do it their way, or it's the highway. So, if you are still trying to "maintain" a certain "acceptance" within the congregation, you will have to keep these things to yourself while you are finding your way. They will label you otherwise. Don't let the fears of "armegeddon" and the other "control" measures they use, stop you from completing your goal!

At any rate, I know you will be back here. We really care about you and your search. Take care of yourself, and don't feel bad if you come to realize that the bible just may not be the book we have been led to believe it is. There is still a beautiful realization of your own spirituality just waiting round the bend.

Love and LIght,

Sentinel

Yea, Me too....

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