Emotional Blackmail and JWs (page 3)

cyber-sista

great post...thank you. Just recently exiting the WT. I do realize while I am now physically and mentally out of the WT (would have to gag and tie me up to get me back in there now) I am still on some levels responding to their emotional blackmail... It is just that the triggers are still there. I am working on it. Information like this helps to sort it out. Thanks again

Lady Lee

OK Just one more bttt for today

Lady Lee

bttt

Mary

This is by far, one of the most important threads ever posted on here. Thanks to LL for doing that.

truthsetsonefree

I find it so amazing that others see this as codependency. As I have gone through the feelings and experiences involved in fading, I have become convinced that it is much like what people go through trying to get away from abusers. I had never made the connection because this is not dependency on an individual. But in the end, what matters is the effect it has on you. And this partially explains why so many who accpet this religion have others problems in their lives as well.

tsof (of the co-dependent class)

codeblue

Great Thread Lady Lee

My JW son sent me an angry/mean letter after my last visit. It's hard not to take it personal, but he is using the SAME techniques learned at the KH on me.

This is a great read!

Codeblue

P.S. Hope you are feeling well!

AuldSoul

Thank you, Lady Lee. This is a tough thread for me to read, right now, but likely good for me.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

compound complex

Dear Lady Lee,

This is a wonderful, says-it-all post. For those of us who by nature are compliant, people-pleasers---never wishing to cause offense---taking a stand is difficult. A brother whom I knew at Bethel visited my former congregation two years ago and commented at the WT study that there would be times when we would have "to take a stand for the truth in the Truth." I cannot recall his words now, but at the time I felt that his words were truly on the mark. It fills me with remorse that the majority of my family became JW's on my example, following my lead. I'm trying now with non-blackmail methods (it seemed so God-ordained then) to help them. Strangely, those who years ago vehemently resisted my methods of conversion (they were not always so gentle), are very sympathetic and willing to listen to my story of shattered faith and have accepted my apologies as a former JW zealot. Thanx again for an older but still up-to-the-minute post.

Yours truly,

CoCo

Lady Lee

tsof

I had never made the connection because this is not dependency on an individual. But in the end, what matters is the effect it has on you. And this partially explains why so many who accpet this religion have others problems in their lives as well.

I had been working with abuse survivors and knew all the issues around abuse, control, manipilation. And I still hadn't made the connection to the WTS. One day read something and the light went on.

I think a lot of people have a hard time recognizing emotional abuse. Abusers I knew, would say something hurtful and then if I reacted negatively they would say "I was just joking", or that I was "too sensitive" I was always in the wrong and they were always right.

codeblue

Sometimes we have a hard time believing our own children can be abusive. As a parent we want our children to love us. But we can't afford to allow the need to be in a relationship with a child to cross over into abuse.We still have the right to set limits. And I really believe that by doing that we not only protect ourselves but hopefully we are making a statement that we will not tolerate emotional abuse

AuldSoul

This is a tough thread for me to read, right now, but likely good for me.

Take what you need now and ignore the rest. If you feek the need to revisit then you will know where to find it.

CoCo

For those of us who by nature are compliant, people-pleasers---never wishing to cause offense---taking a stand is difficult.

I had forgotten that I sent this bttt. But as I was wandering around the city today taking care of I was thinking about this exact point. My early years made me an extremely compliant person, always seeking the approval of others to the point of anticipating their needs I found it so difficult to find my voice. The past few days I have had a memory from my first marriage of probably the first time I got angry at my elder husband. I have no idea where my voice came from. My noe-ex was trying to force something on me that I did not want. We had disagreed on this for almost 15 years and he tried one time too many. I shoved him away from me and in a very low voice that was probably more a growl than anything else I told him if he ever tried that again the next time I would put him out the window. I left him shortly after that.

It just came out of me; perhaps after years of saying it in my head and feeling guilty for thinking it. But it was a start for me to finally realize I had some rights as a person. I still had a long way to go but that was a beginning

A brother whom I knew at Bethel visited my former congregation two years ago and commented at the WT study that there would be times when we would have "to take a stand for the truth in the Truth." I cannot recall his words now, but at the time I felt that his words were truly on the mark.

Wow. Did he have any idea what he was really saying? By stating that then if a person comes to the conclusion there isn't a lot of "truth in the Truth" then some pretty life altering decisions would have to be made

It fills me with remorse that the majority of my family became JW's on my example, following my lead. I'm trying now with non-blackmail methods (it seemed so God-ordained then) to help them.

That's a tough one. But they made decisions. And if they follow your example again they just might leave.

Strangely, those who years ago vehemently resisted my methods of conversion (they were not always so gentle), are very sympathetic and willing to listen to my story of shattered faith and have accepted my apologies as a former JW zealot.

Those who leave the WTS all seem to be very surprised that non-JW family are thrilled that we are out. They seem to have a much better grasp that the WTS is a sick religion and makes JWs sick people. They are far more forgiving than we could imagine.

Lady Lee

another bttt

Emotional Blackmail and JWs

Share this