if the only song you know by Jimi Hendrix is.................(fill in the blank)
if you are under the illusion Hank Marvin can actually play the guitar.
if you think the Shadows and Prince would make a great super group.
if the time 'half past eight' frightens you because it sounds like Apostate!
if you look around for a spy before wishing a happy birthday.
if you have never seen 'the Exorcist' or ‘Harry Potter’ movies.
if every time you see 6.07 on a digital clock you think of 5.39.
if you find yourself thinking, 'I must look that up.'
if you clean windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.
if you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.
if you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets.
if you refer to books by colour instead of by title.
if you can't pick up a book, without picking up a ruler or highlighter too.
if after a "get-together" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.
If you think things are getting worse in the world, and you're thrilled.
if you voted for the first time after nearly fifty years and felt guilty.
if your small children know that Father Christmas isn't real.
if you squirm at love scenes, swearing or blasphemy in movies or ALL of Life of Brian.
if someone says "knock knock", instead of replying, "who’s there?" you offer them magazines.
if you're not afraid of dying, just how "the god of love" will destroy you.
if Black pudding is a worry.
if you have a hard time grasping that "no trespassing" really does refer to you.
if you watch movies and TV shows that show New York and you look for the Watchtower buildings.
if you instinctively open a Bible to Psalms 83:18.
if the word "apostate" terrifies you.