You could be an ex JW……..

by punkofnice 20 Replies latest social humour

  • punkofnice

    if the only song you know by Jimi Hendrix is.................(fill in the blank)

    if you are under the illusion Hank Marvin can actually play the guitar.

    if you think the Shadows and Prince would make a great super group.

    if the time 'half past eight' frightens you because it sounds like Apostate!

    if you look around for a spy before wishing a happy birthday.

    if you have never seen 'the Exorcist' or ‘Harry Potter’ movies.

    if every time you see 6.07 on a digital clock you think of 5.39.

    if you find yourself thinking, 'I must look that up.'

    if you clean windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.

    if you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.

    if you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets.

    if you refer to books by colour instead of by title.

    if you can't pick up a book, without picking up a ruler or highlighter too.

    if after a "get-together" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.

    If you think things are getting worse in the world, and you're thrilled.

    if you voted for the first time after nearly fifty years and felt guilty.

    if your small children know that Father Christmas isn't real.

    if you squirm at love scenes, swearing or blasphemy in movies or ALL of Life of Brian.

    if someone says "knock knock", instead of replying, "who’s there?" you offer them magazines.

    if you're not afraid of dying, just how "the god of love" will destroy you.

    if Black pudding is a worry.

    if you have a hard time grasping that "no trespassing" really does refer to you.

    if you watch movies and TV shows that show New York and you look for the Watchtower buildings.

    if you instinctively open a Bible to Psalms 83:18.

    if the word "apostate" terrifies you.

  • GrreatTeacher

    Unky Punky, you're back!

    Glad to hear from you! How's life?

  • punkofnice

    Hello, GT. Life is life is life. I am still the same, I suppose. I am attempting to be a writer in my spare time now. I'm enjoying it and learning as I go along. I admit there are millions of is but a grain of sand on Skegness beach!

    You can always PM me if you like.

  • SafeAtHome
    OMG punkofnice! I have missed you too! Coming in in the 60's when my parents were indoctrinated by other family members, I can so relate to so many of those. You made me choke on my Bud Lime-arita! Yes, no trespassing and no solicitors certanly didn't apply to us!
  • punkofnice
    Hello, Safe. Sorry to make you choke. You haven't read my 'Tales of the Borg' stories yet heh heh heh
  • SafeAtHome

    Looking forward to it

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle
    Funny list☑🐸
  • punkofnice
    if you take constructive criticism as persecution.
  • Vidiot

    Reposted from an older thread...

    If you suffer acute anxiety attacks while watching Roland Emmerich movies... might be an XJW.

    If you helping your kids collect school activity pledges door-to-door causes deja vu... might be an XJW.

    If you have trouble remembering what weekday it is without some kind of reference point... might be an XJW.

    If you have to resist the urge to read the ingredients on a package of processed meat products... might be a (Canadian) XJW.

    If you're inclined to view Scientology as a bunch of half-assed amateurs... might be an XJW (or a GB member).

    If you’ve recently sent fan mail to Ridley Scott or Darren Aronofsky... might be an XJW.

    If you’ve recently sent hate mail to Ridley Scott or Darren Aronofsky... might be an XJW.

    If the name "Warwick" doesn’t make you think of a pint-size actor in a furry costume... might be an XJW.

    If misquotes, flip-flops, and circular reasoning make you spitting mad... might be an XJW.

    If misquotes, flip-flops, and circular reasoning make you laugh your ass off... might be an XJW.

    If the word "Crooklyn" carries deep, personal meaning for you... might be an XJW.

    If you're thinking of tattooing T's and A's on your skin with no naughty connotations... might be an XJW.

    If you feel nothing but sympathy for the neighbors of Ned Flanders... might be an XJW.

    If you've recently become somewhat skeptical of Prince's decision-making abilities... might be an XJW.

    If the names "Andre" or "Caleb" trigger uncontrollable facepalming... might be an XJW.

    If your favorite ringtone is a classic Bob Dylan song... might be an XJW.

    If you feel a strange kinship with the cast of Breaking Amish... might be an XJW.

    If you consider a PSA video for the deaf as a gift that just keeps on giving... might be an XJW.

    If you hear the word "generation" in a word-association test and automatically respond with "overlapping"... might be an XJW.

    If a plastic toy wizard is your hero... might be an XJW.

  • brandnew

    Sounds like one of my posts......hmmmmmmmmm

    ITS ALL GOOD ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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