no disfellowship for inactive?

jaccilynn

my mother was having a moment while she went to visit a friend a few weeks ago, worrying about me being disfellowshiped and having our relationship change. the sister told my mom, that i could not be disfellowshiped because i am not an active memeber of the congregation. supposedly, her daughter was a full time pioneer, stopped attending meetings, and realized that she is a lesbian. her mother told my mother that she could not be disfellowshiped because she was "no longer a part of the congregation". is this true?

the daughter never disassociated herself... she just stopped attending. my mother is holding on to this as a fact, happy to know that, because i will NEVER start attending meetings again, i won't be disfellowshiped.

i'm just curious as to know if this is a fact or not... anyone know?

bonovox

Some moms would stop talking to you even if you became persistently inactive (like mine). Some moms would still talk to you even if df'd.

Sounds like your mom has a decent heart, I'd just tell her youre not interested in attending anymore but you still love her and want to remain a part of her life.

As for the notice thing, your not obligated to write any letter (my step-dad who is an elder told me this, mind you I had already done it) that's how they trick you into df'ing yourself. I fell for it, and regret it. Not that it would have made any difference with my mom, she'd probably avoid somebody for not getting at least 10 hrs of fs in a month. :(

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"Well the God I believe in isn't short of cash, mister!"

Bullet the Blue Sky, Rattle n Hum version

jaccilynn

i'm sorry bonovox, i know how sad it is to loose family memebers when you change your beliefs. ((((bonovox))))

i just want to know though, CAN they disfellowship you if you're inactive? do you HAVE to be actively involved in the cong?

LB

People have been DFed years after becoming inactive. I've been inactive for about 3 years now and I know that there is still a chance they could DF me.

I think what matters most to them is if you have any contacts with congregation members. If you are associating with members and appear to be apostate or a gross sinner then you're going to get DFed.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

bonovox

My step-dad was a really great guy, and an elder in very good standing until the marrow drained out of his spine completely and left him a bed-ridden invalid. He tells me that you CANNOT be df'd for not going to meetings or not going in fs (the traditional defn's of inactive). Unfortunately he lived over a 1000 miles away when all this stuff was going down with me, or things might have worked out differently.

Ok, now here's the other part: alot of people (like me) end up doing something df'able while inactive. For me it was the girls, and eventually my gf moved in with me. It was pretty common knowledge around my pals, as they still dropped by and we still partied etc. SO, if 2 of them had decided one day that their 'conciences' couldnt take it anymore, they *could* have gone to the elders and told on me, which in turn would have resulted in a JC being called. If I didnt show up, and they did, I could be df'd in my absence. A similar thing *could* happen to your friend, as I think being a lesbian is somehow a df'able offense...lol...mind you my pals were intelligent people who realized that if I wasnt going to meetings for a long time, I basically wasnt even trying to be part of the congregation so why bother screwing with my life, it was none of their business. I think if I was trying to come to meetings every week and maintain living with my gf it would have been much harder for them to ignore but in my situation it worked out just fine. They all knew I was basically coerced into scribbling a goodbye letter (two of them were actually in my apartment when the PO came a-knockin) so they still talk to me to this day.

Dont know if that confused you anymore, but the long and short of it is NO, but something you do while inactive, if 2 people want to rat on you, just might get you df'd.

WHEW! LOL :)

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One, not the same, but one all the same.

jaccilynn

no, bonovox, that didn't confuse me more. it helped, thanks. as for the daughter, i don't know her. i don't even know my mother's friend, she lives in another town. i just wanted to know for myself, since i'm a big SINNER, yet i'm inactive, how the congregation would go about getting me disfellowshipped if they wanted to. i don't really care if i am or not, it's just a formality... a title that would be given to me by a group of people who are not a part of my life. i just wanted to see if what the sister was saying to my mom was true or not.

KJV

From what I know, if you have been inactive for three years or more, you will NOT be d.f.'ed.

Makena1

I had lunch a couple of weeks ago with an elder that I served with several years ago. There was a thread awhile back that discussed a talk by a CO at an assembly regarding watch out for inactive ones - they present a danger, apostacy, bad association, etc., and could be headed for DF.

This elder, who is a "real student" of org policy said this was definitely NOT the case. Elders have been told to assign inactives to a book study even if they have not attended for years. Also, follow up visits were encouraged etc.

He started pressing me about where I stood - I basically told him, I trust very few people, and that I prefer to keep my beliefs to myself. I really have an open mind, and no longer feel I have the answers to the secrets of the universe. After giving me the party line about who Jehovah is blessing etc., he backed off when I told him that I no longer associate with JW's, and that my ambivalent religious views posed no threat to active members.

In my opinion, the key is whether you seek out JW's for association, are engaging in activities that are DF offenses - then you open yourself up to further investigation.

Just my thoughts,

Mak
member of the "just leave me alone class"

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite--but they all worship money.
- Mark Twain

RedhorseWoman

I can use only our experiences with this as a reference point. Both my husband and I were inactive for years. I was sporadically going to the meetings, but he was totally inactive.

During this period of time, he was smoking. No action was taken against him. However, when we decided to make a concerted effort to re-activate ourselves (since no one was interested in helping...even though I had asked), my husband began asking a lot of questions of the elders (he had gotten baptised without fully understanding the implications of the matter...he mainly did it so I would date him).

The elders started getting nervous at all the questions, and noticed an empty ashtray on the coffee table. They asked my husband if he was smoking, and he answered in the affirmative. They gave him 30 days to totally quit or be disfellowshipped.

Needless to say, my husband was disfellowshipped. I then drifted off to total inactivity due to many lies and deceptions involved in this whole process. I have never been bothered by anyone, nor have the elders ever tried to re-activate me. I'm pretty sure that as far as they are concerned, we no longer exist.

So, until we sought out contact with the congregation, there were no attempts to disfellowship in spite of the smoking.

StinkyPantz

Jacilynn-

I have a friend who is still a JW (but inactive) and he got a girl pregnant which is common knowlegde because his father was an elder before he died, so the pregnancy was no secret. His entire family (mom, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents) are all in good standing and he regularly associates with all of them. He even moved back in with his mom along with the girl that he got pregnant, and still he never got disfellowshipped. So I believe that you won't be df'd.

StinkyP

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer"

no disfellowship for inactive?

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