Classes, Just for Men

Celia

CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL ADULT EDUCATION CENTER.
SIGN UP BY June 1, 2002

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will
accept a maximum of eight (8) participants each.

Topic 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Does it grow on the holder? Round Table discussion.

Topic 3 - Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and
avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into
the kitchen sink?
Examples on video.

Topic 6 - Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other.
Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place
instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.

Topic 8 - Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 9 - Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real-life testimonials.

Topic 10 - Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

Topic 11 - Learning to live: Basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 12 - How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation, exercises, meditation, and breathing techniques.

Topic 13 - How to fight cerebral atrophy:
Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when
you're going to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

Upon completion of the course diplomas will be issued
to the survivors.

SYN

TREMENDOUS!

"Vaccination has never saved a human life. It does not prevent smallpox." The Golden Age, Feb 4 1931 p. 293-4 - The Sacredness of Human Blood (Reasons why vaccination is unscriptural)

crawdad2

damn, it's already june 2!
i'm a day to late to sign up....... oh well, just my luck!

LB

Topic 3 - Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and
avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.

Yeah I've tried that. Turns out if you lift the seat women fall into the toliet. No classes for that??

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Valis

FunEd classes for the ladies...

Topic 1 - How to fill up my beer glass. Lessons in giving good head Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - Love handles: Do they grow on the holder? Round Table discussion.

Topic 3 - Is it OK for guys to pee in the sink when you commadere the bathroom for hours? Group practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental differences between your spending habits and the absurd notion of a credit limit.
Pictures and explanatory graphics from store surveillance tapes..

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Why men cook and refuse to clean:
Examples on video.

Topic 6 - Loss of identity: Losing the check book to your significant other.
Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning how to spank things, starting with lashing in the right place instead of turning the torture wheel upside down while he's screaming.
Open forum, whips welcome.

Topic 8 - Health watch: Bringing home your girlfriends is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape of last weekend.

Topic 9 - Real women ask for him to drive when lost.
Real-life testimonials from women attending AA meeting in wrong building..

Topic 10 - Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as he parallel parks?
Driving simulation and free prozac.

Topic 11 - Learning to live: Basic differences between Oh Daddy! and Hay Papi!.
Online class and role playing with blow up doll.

Topic 12 - How to be the ideal sports companion.
Relaxation for him at home watching the game, exercises in lifting beer to mouth, meditation on chances of favored team in World Cup, and breathing in bong smoke techniques.

Topic 13 - How to fight cerebral atrophy:
Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late and didn't take the pill the other day. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered for all expecting fathers..

hey Celia...how's Papa Smurf?

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Solace

OOhhh,,,
So far it looks like draw. Both parties have made some valid points and each have takin a number of blows.
Im just gonna keep my class topics to myself. You guys have it pretty much covered for today.

DakotaRed

Men really don't need any classes. Life is already great!

Your last name stays put.
The garage is yours.
Wedding plans just take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's too icky.
Same work...more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?".
One mood, all the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest bit of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a 3 pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You quietly enjoy a car ride from the passengers seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.
You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in
45 minutes.

Damn, it's good to be a man!!

LB

Dakota you've convinced me. I'm canceling the sex change

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Valis

LB go for the sex change...nothing like a chick squatting with her spurs on...*L*

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Solace

Dakota,
You are so right.
I would kill to be able to just shower and go in the morning.
My husband said to me the other day, "Well, you just relax in the tub for twenty minutes". Yea right, Im working in there! Most of us girls shave 70% of our bodies. Not to mention, shampoo and condition, Blowdry and curl, then makeup. Exhausting! No wonder we get crabby.

Classes, Just for Men

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