How can I ever leave this cult? (page 3)

JWdaughter

We are all damaged but you are moving on. You will continue to do so because Your most important words were that "I'm a survivor".

You don't need to follow any culture or tradition that hurts right now (if Christmas is a hot button, just don't do it).

See your doctor and tell them what's going on (physical and emotional responses when off meds). If the meds are helping, don't quit yet. If you are ready to change them, the doc can help you do it so you won't make yourself nuts.

A lot of people here care about you and you are in our thoughts and/or prayers. All my best to you!

M

Julia Orwell

Thanks all :).

I actually moved out lf my last congregation's territory and no jws know where we live now and my townhouse complex is a DNC apparently. I do live across the highway from my old territory from before the last congregation, which is where my parents live. I'm not going to move towns because there is not many other places to go, and we only just bought this place in March.

I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself and I can be a bit obsessive by nature. I am on school holidays at the moment too so I have plenty of time to over think things. My art commissions have kept me a little busy but I wish I could just not give a damn if I see these people ever again. But, there were my life for years so it's not that easy.

talesin

Hi, there. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling down. A metaphor I was told (Lessons Learned in Therapy) helps me to realize that it's okay to be how I am.

Life, and healing from the cult specifically, is like the ocean. Sometimes it's smooth as glass, and at other times there are swells. You're at the top of the world, and then down in the trough, with this giant wall of water seeming to tower over you. Just ride out those waves, and keep your head above water during the rough seas.

xo

tal

Sail Away

(((Julia Orwell)))

These are the things that have helped me over the last three plus years since my exit from the organization:

Buddhist Psychology

http://www.amazon.com/Wise-Heart-Universal-Teachings-Psychology/dp/0553382330/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1418908056&sr=1-2-fkmr1&keywords=the+awakened+heart+jack+kornfield

Insight Meditation

The Insight Meditation Society may have a Buddhist community (sangha) in your area. http://www.dharma.org/

Mindfulness Meditation

The Now Effect http://elishagoldstein.com/

Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction

http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/

Tai chi/qigong

A Pet

Sleep, healthy diet, walks

cha ching

Hey Julia, You are a sweet, caring person, from what I have learned of you on this forum.

When 'we' leave the cult, we can not let it take our self worth, our ANY thing from us.

I think that, because they shun us, or try to make us feel left out or 'bad', BECAUSE we are actually good, loving, honest people, we want to 'fix it', 'clarify it', have 'justice,' explain it or help them..... To say that that is disturbing is A.O.K, because it is reality.... and reality is good.

Maybe it's like the Borg on Star Trek.. the people that have been made into robot like creatures... they cannot feel, they cannot think, they cannot realize the situation they are in, they USE to be human....

and then, there is the one... the one borg that has a slight chance... that listens and changes (they had one on Star Trek) and understands, and gets human feelings back.

Coming to grips with this is hard... the people I use to laugh and share things with have reverted back to their borg-like personalities... I ask myself this: "Just because I left the borg, am I less human? No, I am more human. I am going to try to find some small special thing to enjoy at different times throughout my day... the fire I am sitting beside, my cat on my lap, my husband & I being able to be realllly together.

I like to think of the many people here on this forum who really do understand what it is like, and offer their support.

((hugs)) to you! cha ching

LisaRose

I am glad you are feeling better. I have my down days too. It's important that we feel free to come here and vent. It's really hard to talk about this with those who have never been JWs. Most people probably think we should just get over it and move on, but it just isn't that simple, so it's nice to be around other people who understand that.

mgmelkat

I had the same problem. could not make close friends And never thought I'd trust anyone to get close to again. But over the past two years I've managed to make two close friends and we talk about everything and I've told them of my JW past and they've been a great support for me and they've proved themselves to be true friends. They've helped me heal. And helped me to have enough confidence to stand on my own, seperate from JWism. JWism no longer cripples me with fear. I admit I do get moments of anxiety and stress regarding JWs, especially as my parents are in but it's slowly dissipating. I know I'm right in leaving that religion.

I used to be on medications too- Effexor and Epilim for a mood disorder. It caused my daughter to be born with a disability. I refused to take them ever again But I've not been as bad as I was prior to having children. I still suffer bouts of depression and struggle but that's when my friends and my mum comes and helps me.

Julia Orwell

The Borg from Star Trek: good analogy. I remember one borg was ripped away from her people and she couldn't get over the fact of life outside the borg and wanted to go back. Another borg started a resistance movement! I guess borgs all do something slightly different, but the majority of the Jaybots just can't get through the conditioning. It is very powerful. Took me years to get through it myself and I'm an educated, intelligent person.

How can I ever leave this cult?

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