new neighbors

by Theredeemer 24 Replies latest jw friends

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  Theredeemer

  So, my wife and I purchased a house about a month ago and recently we met our new neighbors. They are an older couple. They are very nice and even brought us cookies.

  In conversation they brought up that they were Mormons and mentioned how much they loved it. We mentioned how we used to be JW but now we are nothing. I did not tell them that I was an Atheist because we did not get that far.

  Anyway, yesterday the wife came by with the cookies and invited us to eat on Sunday. We accepted the invitation. It was after saying yes that she went on again about the Mormon faith and mentioned that some "sisters" were going to come over. She went on and on about how they come almost everyday to visit since she has been sick and how when they were baptists the chruch members rarely came to visit yada yada yada.

  After she left my wife and I knew that this was possibly a recruitment meal that we agreed to attend. Im kind of worried since I really do not want to get into religion (who wants to).

  My question is, if they bring it up, would it be rude to say "I really dont want to talk about it" since we are at their house?
• 

  JWdaughter

  Just say politely that you are happy that her religion works for her, but your experience with churches is that the hype and rhetoric doesn'treally match up to the reality so that you have become like a writer about religion-you would rather just SEE how her faith informs her life rather than being preached or witnessed to about it. Show, don't tell! That will give her an opportunity to be the nice person that she probably is without talking about her religion all the time. Just a thought!

  OR,you could just be kind and just let her know that you appreciate good neighbors and while you don't want the witnessing (they consider that "every member is a missionary"), you appreciate her family and community values and share many of them, but you won't be joining any church.

  Honestly, I think the first approach would be more successful, plus you will have a great neighbor.
• 

  JWdaughter

  Then accept the dinner invitation. It will probably be really good:)
• 

  Simon

  They may just be genuinely being nice and welcoming.

  It's good to be wary but there's no danger that anyone who is awake to cults and religion will be suckered into it. They don't have mind-control rays, just techniques that if you're wise to are less effective. That said though, people who know about time-share sales sometimes end up being convinced so just be careful.

  I don't think it's rude to tell people that you are not interested in religion. No more than it is for a religious person to tell you that they are.
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  The Searcher

  Why not say that you have already been down the road of "organized religion" but you've been put off by the money-grabbing side of things by them, so for that reason alone you would not want to align yourself with major religious organizations again.

  Thanks to their tithing, they'll probably terminate the conversion chatter pretty quickly, in case you ask them about their fleecing methods!
• 

  Simon

  Also, how old / cute are these "sisters" that are coming over? Was your wife with you when they came over? I can't tell from the OP for certain.
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  Theredeemer

  @ simon I dont know. It was just the neighbor lady that came over. We accepted the invite before she mentioned that the sisters were also coming. Kind of sneaky no?

  @ searcher yeah I wondered how they would react if I go on detail about the cultishness of the JWs and maybe they would see the similarities.
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  NAVYTOWN

  If the subject of religion comes up during the meal, just say: 'We prefer to keep our spiritual beliefs a private matter. We woukd rather not discuss it here.'. That should get the point across. If they persist, just repeat it.
• 

  GrreatTeacher

  The same thing happened to me when I moved into my current house years ago. The neighbors were mormons. They were extremely nice people and we still keep in touch with them after they moved away.

  When we first moved in, we were overwhelmed with home improvements, so they sent the missionaries to us because they need so much community service time we were informed. A couple of nice kids came over and really did help us out. The missionaries also preached a little, but they mostly just enjoyed being able to be normal kids who could listen to the radio at our house (they're not allowed to on their own) and eat a home cooked meal.

  Just enjoy your neighbors if they are really nice people. We still visit with our former neighbors at their new home. We just have to grit our teeth at the constant background noise of Fox news! But, people are people and I feel badly for them because they are stuck in a cult just like we were. Look at ex-mormon websites and you'll see lots of similarities.
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  Simon

  Yeah, Mormons are a lot like JWs - usually very nice people at the individual level and very 'clean cut' so good neighbour, but still trapped in a cult. I wonder how much of the clean-cut image is for show compared to the JWs? You don't see the reality when you are an outsider to it all.