Elders are going to the CO on me

by cognac 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    The flock book states that if you meet with an elder body IT SHOWS THAT YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU FEEL YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO THE ARRANGEMENT AND THE ORGANIZATION. It is for this reason I do not think I would ever appear before them. Whatever you choose I wish you the best.

    My advice? Choose whichever path will cause you the LEAST stress.

  • oppostate
    oppostate

    Send the BOE a letter saying you are no longer a member of such and such congregation and are looking for another more Christian and welcoming JW congregation. Although in no way is your decision to withdraw membership from that Congregation in particular to be interpreted as disassociating with the whole association of JW's. Only you wish to stop the maligning and damaging relationship the local BOE has develop with you and want to seek a more peaceful and beneficial congregation for you.

    The next day send them another letter saying that if they dare hold any religious based judicial proceedings against you or in retaliation for your decision you will depend on legal counsel to bring them to court as a BOE for their not following their own rules published in WTS publications.

    Say that you will not sue the WTS or the traveling representative unless they become actively supportive of the BOE's past harrassment and mistreatment of you as a congregation member.

    The BOE will get a black eye from the CO and the Branch because they don't want to be involved and your relationship with the BOE could cost them legal troubles and bad publicity.

    They will stop hounding you.

    Take your time. Maybe you'll find another JW Congregation to be a member of, maybe not ever, but whatever the case it's your decision to be part of it or not.

  • cognac
    cognac

    So, I told hubby that, "I'm moving to where its warmer if I'm disfellowshipped and I'd like him to come with us." He's always known I only live here because of family. What did he think would happen when my family was taken away from me? I know if I move somewhere he'd go with me and I'd probably get a two-family since I'm still intending on moving forward with the divorce.

    His response, "I'm the head of this household and I'll make those decisions."

    I said, "I'm not asking you. I'm telling what I've already made a decision on."

    He said, "I can't raise the kids up as JWs without your parents help."

    I told him, "I guess you should have thought about this before you ratted me out to the elders and took my parents away from me. I hate the cold and if I don't have my family there is no reason to stay. I am thinking about TX, FL or CA."

    Anyways, now he is going to tell the elders they need to drop it and not to bother me. However; I told him it's probably to late because he already told on me. He seems to think otherwise.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    he is going to tell the elders they need to drop it and not to bother me.

    Good luck with that one.

    However; I told him it's probably to late because he already told on me.

    I agree with you. Once the ball is rolling there's no stopping it. The elders will have taken over from your husband now and will likely tell him to naff off or else.

    He seems to think otherwise.

    He won't learn will he?! He obviously thinks this IS a religion guided by a loving god. The delusion is sad to see.

  • cognac
    cognac

    The only thing is though, unless they talk to my kid there really is only 1 witness.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Hi Jezebel. If you meet with the elders, you are on their turf. Eff them. They are not your masters. If they ask you anything, give them the Jesus response. Look at them, don't say anything to them and say, you yourself are saying this.... I have had elders try to gently coax me into talking to them and I just smiled and said, I'm not talking... they eventually go away.

  • minimus
    minimus

    By the way, my 35 year old daughter called me to say that her good friend in California facebooked her and said that because she is now openly celebrating the holidays with her kids, she would have to stop being friends with her until she returned to jehovah. My daughter graciously thanked her for the heads up and expressed that she hope she has a great life.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    You seem strong, decisive and optimistic. Your plan to move to a warm state and start a fresh with your kids seems really good. It was very amicable of you to invite your hubby even though you want a divorce. This shows you want the kids to have a relationship with their father.

    Well done

    Kate xx

  • cognac
    cognac

    Thanks Min. I didn't know you had a daughter my age! Anyways, at this point there's no way I'm talking to them.

    Thanks Kate. I wouldnt actually move out of state without him. I know he'd go with me. It's something he's wanted anyways and I think it's his JW friends keeping him here right now. They are all rallying around him in "support" even talking about giving him an MS position. He's always wanted the elders approval and now with this "stand" he's taking he's finally gotten that.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    He's always wanted the elders approval and now with this "stand" he's taking he's finally gotten that.- cognac

    It's a shame he thinks this way, you are obviously not going back as a submissive wife. I know how it feels, I exposed my ex for domestic violence and he lied to the elders about me to get me DF'd. It sounds like you need to get away for your own sanity.

    Take care

    Kate xx

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit