Wow, I'm surprised so many women are that sexually repressed on this thread. I had the opposite problem. My JW husband was the one really repressed. Clearly him being raised a JW made him that way. Either that or he's too afraid to come out of the closet, which I've suspected for years. I was the one with the really high sex drive. We fought about it a lot. I even got on meds because they suppress your drive. I knew within 2 weeks that I made a big mistake marrying him. We all know there's so few single and available people in that org that chances are good you're going to end up with someone you're not compatible with. We're all so guilted into the sanctity of marriage and that J hates a divorce that so many people stay in unhappy marriages. I did for 11 years.
I Waited Until My Wedding Night To Lose My Virginity And I Wish I Hadn't...
by Divergent 42 Replies latest social relationships
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confuzzlediam
I was the ripe old age of 14 when I lost my virginity. A year later, I gave it another whirl. Was not too impressed with it. Was baptized at 16, met my husband when I was 17 1/2 and married not quite 6 months later at just 18. We waited to have sex till our wedding night. Sex was ok. I never craved it with him. 3 1/2 years later, I strayed, admitted it and was forgiven. We went on to have 3 babies, losing the first one at 28 weeks along, due more than likely to the stress brought on by the infidelity.
I left my husband of 25 years in April 2014 and filed for divorce in June because he could not get over the infidelity that happened early in our marriage and I could not get over the constant threatening to leave or divorce because of his insecurities.
I met and started dating my boyfriend (who is also disfellowshipped) 5 months ago and have a VERY healthy sex life!! Who knew it could be this good! I crave sex with him and could easily be happy with it once or twice a day! LOL
Being raised as a JW you are warned against fornicating. It is something that is presented as being "dirty", at least it was for me. Over and over again we are told from the stage that we would not inherit God's kingdom if we engaged in this sin...this gross sin. SO I married at a VERY young age, pushed into it by my parents, just to avoid fornicating and displeasing God.
Now, I have 2 AMAZING kids, ages 17 and 20, that I would not have if I had not married when I did. For that, I would not trade my decision to marry young, for the world. BUT because of my experience, my kids know how I feel about marrying too young and the importance of having a college education before making such a serious commitment.
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Trailer Park Pioneer
That's the only reason most JWs kids told the elders why they were getting married. "We don't want to get disfellowshiped for fornication so we are going to get married" nothing about love or partnership, a strange religion. I am happy the new kids don't listen to the elders nor do they give a dam what the Organization things about their wild kinky sex.
The young kids are funny (ages 19 to 27) when they tell you they only got married for sex, this must be a Cult thing?
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Vidiot
Trailer Park Pioneer - "...'We don't want to get disfellowshiped for fornication so we are going to get married'..."
You've stumbled (no pun intended) upon the real reason why so many toe the company line, even if they think the rules are unneccessary, misapplied, or just plain wrong... "we don't want to get disfellowshipped for (fill in the blank)".
It's why Tight-pants Tony is recommending that JW kids get baptized as early as 6.
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flipper
Excellent article, thanks for posting it. I truly feel that sexual hang ups are a product of many religions ( including JW's ) being of a patriarchal sort which some have alluded to as it always seems to be a " Man's man's world " like the singer James Brown said in his song. It's truly disgusting. In these types of religion's everything is done to accommodate the man and the woman is treated like a second class citizen. Is it any wonder then that so many JW marriages break up ?
JW women have been treated horrifically by elders minimizing spousal abuse within the cult , and even young teenage females are often blamed for pre marital sex instead of horn dog elder's sons who many times have gotten off scot free without punishment while all the blame shifts to the teenage female, it's sick.
If ANY of these patriarchal religions would start treating women as equal in mind, body, and spirit there might be a change of attitudes- but sadly- don't count on it within organized religions that always refer to men as the HEAD of women. Translation : These religions feel women do not have a right to their own minds and these high control organizations steal that right of women away from them over their own bodies and minds. It's one of the many things I could NOT tolerate as a man when I was a JW.
I've seen the way my 89 yr.old dad has warehoused my 87 yr.old mom in an assisted living facility after she cooked his meals , washed his clothes, cleaned his house , and gave birth to and raised 4 of his children- for 65 years and THAT was the thanks she got ? To be tucked away into a care facility ?
Sexual freedom is something personal that NO organization, religious or otherwise should control in females, males, anybody. With the JW mind control cult controlled by WT Society dogma - I truly believe that the aim of the WT Society in being controlling over sexual issues even INSIDE of marriage is to weaken the close ties that should be prominent inside marriages and relationships. If they can weaken the relationships between men and women then WT leaders CAN break down family loyalties from parents all the way to children and it becomes a chain of emotional and psychological abuse which gets handed down from one JW generation to the next all the while emphasizing the importance of loyalty to the WT Society OVER loyalty to one's mate or family. The sexual thing is just tied up with the deeper issues of control by the WT Society. Just another means whereby that the WT leaders accomplish their goals of conquering and dividing. Truly a sociopathic organization. My 2 cents. Sorry for the ramble
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Vidiot
flipper - "I truly believe that the aim of the WT Society in being controlling over sexual issues even INSIDE of marriage is to weaken the close ties that should be prominent inside marriages and relationships."
Makes sense.
There's another reason too; authoritarian regimes have always tried to suppress sexuality because they feel (consciously or otherwise) that all that pent-up energy can be more properly redirected to the advancement of the regime's agenda (whatever that may be).
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MissFit
Quote from the artical:"Unfortunately, I can't go back but I can give you this message as a culmination of my experiences: If you want to wait to have sex until marriage make sure it's because you want to. It's your body; it belongs to you, not your church. Your sexuality is nobody's business but yours."
Ditto. I thought that quote was worth repeating.
I will be sharing this with my daughter. I raised her with the JW mindset.
She is not a JW. I think we owe it to our children to make sure they have a balanced anx healthy view of their sexuality.
She is a young adult now. I have been awake for around a year now. This article will be a good conversation starter.
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LoveUniHateExams
Sexual freedom is something personal that NO organization, religious or otherwise should control in females, males, anybody - quite right. What consenting adults choose to do in private is their business and nobody else's.
Truly a sociopathic organization - again, spot on. I get the feeling WTS would rather everyone remained celibate and certainly didn't enjoy sex. Although I think that marriage is a good thing for consenting adults, the WT's attitude to sex is comparable to Victorian London's. Growing up in the WTS is an absolute nightmare for teenage boys (and teenage girls, I suppose).
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bittersweet2K
JW women have been treated horrifically by elders minimizing spousal abuse within the cult
Thank you. I went through a lot of verbal and physical abuse from my JW husband. So did our children. I'm crying right now because of all things I witnessed that he did to our sons. Punching them, throwing them against the walls. holding them down in a choke hold with his knee in their backs, using the most vile language you would ever hear. Its disgusting! Yes, I did talk to the elders on several occasions about it, and they would talk to him separately, and he managed to lie his way through it.
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fulltimestudent
Quote: I avoided undressing in front of my husband.
So sad!
I am reminded of an elderly sister Sister X) getting baptised at an assembly. She was from the congregation where I was the Conser. (back in the days when there was only a congregation servant).
At the assembly, another sister came hurrying up to me to ask me to go talk to Sister X as she was crying and very upset. So I did (of course).
What was the problem? Well the changing rooms were private, but one large space inside (no privacy for the candidates). So the problem, Sister X explained, was that she had never gotten undressed in front of anyone from the time of her puberty, not even when she married. It was easy enough to solve the problem for her and obtain a private area for her to change, but I thought with sadness of her life blighted by her attitude to her body.
Krazy Kristians have Kursed the world.