Wow. Very interesting thread. Thanks for creating this discussion. It's an important part of our healing- I believe.
I know with Mrs. Flipper and myself it's a different situation as she was never a JW and I was for 44 years from birth until I exited at age 44 in 2003. We've been on this board since 2007 and at first- after being out of the J-dubs for 4 years I didn't initially want anything to do with ANYTHING ex-JW , information, talking about it- nothing. But my wife who was never a JW got onto this board first to understand why my bat -$hit crazy JW family acted the way they did towards me and SHE encouraged me to process through my thoughts and told me I might benefit from looking into JW.net as there was quite a bit of information I needed to know about AND that I would receive tremendous support by gaining aquaintance with other ex-JW's who had experienced similar things as myself. And she was RIGHT.
The more I started researching of course the more angry I became especially regarding the WT child abuse scandals- however the longer I researched and the longer I was out of the JW cult - my anger turned into becoming proactive as an activist AGAINST the WT Society and an activist to HELP and ASSIST others like me who had been out of the cult and dumped on their ass like me . And THAT is how Mrs. Flipper and I have really helpful discussions about this twisted cult - because we kind of see it as a bigger picture than just what happened to me personally. Thousands if not millions of innocent people have been hurt and damaged by this criminal organization the WT Society - and once we realize this- we become more forgiving to OURSELVES that we are not alone in how the WT Society manipulated us.
Both you 3rdgen and your husband are really good friends so I have a couple things to say to you both- with love in my heart for both of you. Just chill- it's not worth losing sleep over. LOL !
BALAAMSASS2- I consider you a dear brother in arms against the WT Society and a good friend. I know how you feel, we've ALL been screwed over and would just as soon wish the WT Society never existed- but it did and it does. Your statement, " it simply makes me angry sometimes to be reminded that I ALLOWED myself to swallow soooo many tall tales. " And therein I feel lies your issue. In one of Steve hassan's book's he mentions that ex-xcult members many times have trouble forgiving THEMSELF personally over having been tricked or manipulated by a high control organization. But like Hassan says we made our decision based on manipulative information by unscrupulous dishonest snake oil salesmen who promised us ETERNAL LIFE - something appealing to normal human desires - and it was THEM the WT leaders who were in the wrong to present us such falsehoods to use us. Being tricked had NOTHING to do with our intelligence- or lack thereof- it had to do with WT leaders presenting us with being in a " special brotherhood " or being considered as having a " special possession " i.e. " everlasting life " that other people in the world didn't have ! Which was an outright lie and deception. So the fault was and will forever be with the WT Society leaders- not you and me- as we were misled through false information to trick and control our lives ! You need to be KIND to yourself and not demand or expect too much out of yourself . Forgive yourself. Balaam- if you and I had been given TRUTHFUL information by people who had no ulterior motives and we made our decisions based on our authentic born with human minds - we'd have been O.K. - but we joined the JW cult based on manipulation of our born human minds and it caused us to be programmed thinking with a cult controlled mind- not our minds we were born with. So anyway, end of my speech, won't bore you with anymore, but it is one way I've been able to move on is by forgiving myself. It was THEM who did it to us, not US who did it to ourselves. Love you my friend.
3RDGEN- It's crazy how the WT and JW cult affected ALL of us, isn't it ? We were all affected differently and we were in some ways- affected the same. Sounds like a contradiction- but it's not. Different circumstances for different people for sure. But many times the same storyline. As you mentioned your hubby has been hurt in a different, or perhaps deeper way personally than you have so it may take him more time to process and figure out HOW to deal or cope with that hurt. Which is alright. As I mentioned to him he needs to forgive himself , which he can do so if he receives YOUR support in him forgiving himself . None of us were to blame- the enemies were WT leaders. Love both of you guys lots , if you ever want to chat would love to share the pain and healing some time. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
