by 3rdgen 31 Replies latest jw friends
I am sorry.....I had to take a moment to pick my jaw off the floor when I saw the video that Sail Away posted. I guess this would have been less shocking to me 15 years ago, but now I am just to far removed from it.
My ex husband and I divorced so we dont have any lingering ex JW issues. But I do have some funny convo's with my current non JW amazing husband about my former beliefs. He still chuckles when I tell him I believed in Noah's Ark.
For us we really started off in different places. I was fed up for years and we would have conversations where I would lay down all my issue's with the religion but he, though open to discussion still really believed in it. Then one day this year he came across the NGO crap and that led him down a very intense period of reading and research, something that I had never bothered with as I never felt the need to. He got very angry and kept telling me all these things that he had found out and for some reason that scared me I guess my inner cultist came out!
We had lots of arguments about it and how I felt he should just stop looking at things and leave it alone. At this point we were both going through the motions with the meetings etc and it wasn't until the convention that I said we should just leave and never go back, he agreed and that's exactly what we have done! I think I just couldn't believe how much was really wrong with the organisation I was bought up in, even though I had my issue's they were mainly to do with family experiences within the org.
Now we are both really interested in what's going on and keeping up with things and I think that's mainly as it just confirm's and reassures us that we have made the right decission. Plus it can be used as ammo if needed when relatives bring these things up! I feel that he is definately more angry than me about wasting his life etc. I just think well that's what we chose at the time, we didn't have all the facts and our life wasn't awful. But I understand why he would feel that way.
Mrs Phizzy, as with many of the Female persuasion, approaches most things on an emotional level, how she feelsabout it.
Oh dear.
We don't talk about it much anymore but we continue to discuss other related topics. We still ponder the meaning of life and sometimes we'll laugh about some of the jw buzz phrases. My husband will say " I've got to start my time " and I'll say " got any return visits" we laugh and we're happy we woke up from the nightmare.
Wow, interesting stories everyone! Sam Herd had the most reasonable explanation. Us wimmins is jest two stoopid.
My wife can go without hearing or seeing any new news on the JWs. I, on the other hand, check this site and post daily. I think the difference is I was born in and she converted later in her teen years. We talk about it alot and we pretty much share the same views on the Org. We discuss the craziness of it all at least twice a week. I think in time we will slowly talk less and less about it. For me, I think once my mom passes away I will completely shed that part of my life,maybe even this site.
As a couple I would hope to one day completely move on from this religion. I know that it will be talked about here and there, especially when we see someone or they come knocking, but it is still a big part of our lives.
I crave with all my heart that this religion implodes. Every time I open this site I hope to see some inside info or headline that reads" The Jig is UP!!" "watchtower to close" or something similar. I really dont know how to feel about this craving. I kind of wish I didnt care either way.
Maybe it is too soon. Maybe I went through too much. Maybe it takes 30 years to undue the 30 years of being in.
The hurt and anger is often associated with how long and how much was lost to the Borg. Hubby definitely made more difficult sacrifices than I. The choice not to have children hurts him the most and now it's too late.
My wife doesn't follow it; I just keep appraised about developments and fill her in on anything she might find relevent...
x
...usually getting the response, "that's really stoopid!", or "what were they thinking?"
THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SITE!
YOU FREAKING PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH..............
..............BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AND FEELING THE SAME DAMN EMOTIONS ABOUT IT ALL!
.
Yeah. Ok. I know I'm shouting.
Just these last three posts for example.....
THE REDEEMER-- Hoping to someday completely move on......yet hoping it implodes........30 years "out" to undo 30 years "in". (But I ain't got 30 more years!!! Wouldn't it be great to see those headlines! How many people would you call to say "I TOLD YOU SO!" ?)
3RDGEN: Hubby made more sacrifices. Decisions like choosing to have no children that cannot be reversed. (Thankfully we had kids, but I feel that tremendous loss for him.)
VIDIOT:"that's really stupid..........what were they thinking" (How come it took us SO LONG to see it that way??? Just a couple of years ago I'd have swallowed all this New Lite BullShit and not even noticed the odor let alone the shitty taste!)
Thanks to all!
Doc
It sounds like a lot of couples who have left are similar in that one checks things out still and they other isn't that bothered. We are the same, I drop in here every now and then to see what may be going on, I feel that it gives us a heads up as to what might be going on with our still IN relatives and why they are doing what they are doing or treating us coldly... My wife could go without hearing an ything.
It will be nice when it doesn't matter at all. We have been "out" nearly 10 years [faded] She was quick to see the crap, I had been working for about 20 years to be a ms then elder and it took a bit to back away from that... there were a few arguments then, but now no arguing about jw stuff.
Great comments, and thanks for the honesty by all the other posters on this topic....
