help catagorize my wife: I truely believe she suffers from cognitive dissonance and other things this stupid cult causes. (page 2)

snugglebunny

The trouble with stupid people is that they don't know that they're stupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvVPdyYeaQU

Thanks all, i need to read more Hassan books. i am both comforted and agonized by the fact that so many have there significant other in the same situation has i am. I wish for all us.....that we along with our significant others break away clean, wake up together and leave the stupid cult behind us.

TheListener

Great thread. I'm in the same boat.

My wife misses tons of meetings and rarely goes in servus. Then all of a sudden she's active and trying to go regularly. It's like a clock pendulum swinging back n forth.

Sometimes my wife will just not get ready for the meeting and we will watch tv or hang out. I never question her about it.

We celebrate non religious holidays and do other no no things for witnesses but I know her heart is still in the witnesses and she believes everything they say.

But, how can she believe everything if she is so weak in the truth and does things that would clearly get her in serious trouble with the elders?

I have Steve Hassan's book, maybe two of them. I will get them out and re-read them because I need to develop an action plan.

My problem is that when she swings toward witness activity I get frustrated and it shows. Then I lose credibility with her. I need to be more even emotionally supportive no matter what she chooses. That is hard to do, at least for me it seems to be.

FusionTheism

I don't like the idea of "categorizing" your wife or calling her "mentally lacking," or "stupid."

How is that attitude or demeaning treatment any better than the actions you don't like in the Society?

Basically, if your wife has supported and respected your freedom to do the things you love, then why wouldn't you support your wife?

nonjwspouse

Fusion, I have to say, it is apparent in my husband that although he will study and research things like horticulture, aquariums, water friction flow , a builders license, a second language, all sorts of things where he allows his mind it learn and absorb. he can be extremely good at learning and proves he has high intelligence when he ALLOWS it. When it comes to the indoctrinated mindset within the JW teachings, his mind goes "numb". He becomes frozen with self accepted ignorance, unable to see the WTBTS created chaos for what it is , chaos, constructed to keep the indoctrinated confused, and convinced they are mentally helpless. So the terms mentally lacking or stupid when it comes to the WT teachings, though yes are "loaded" with negative connotations, I do understand the meanings behind what he is trying to say.

goingthruthemotions

FT i do respect and support my wife,i cant say she so much supports me. Its more like she tolerates the fact that her husband is an apostate. She suffers from cognitive dissonance. Much like i suspect you do.

This cult has f'ed up her mind when it comes to life and simple plesures. What you and the other brain washed zombues dont understand is life is too short to waste it on a cult that destroys lives.

Wake up FT and stop fooling yourself

Cold Steel

+GoingThroughTheMotions

+TheListener

What beliefs do you want them to adopt to replace the ones they presently have?

Evangelical Christianity? Catholicism? Orthodox? Atheism? Other?

Are children involved? Other family members? Would you be okay with her staying in some religion?

Perhaps she doesn't want to give up religion entirely. Most people who get disgusted with the movement become so enraged over being deceived, that they feel if it's not “the truth,“ that there's no truth out there. So what belief system do you want them to accept? If you're going to create a vacuum, that vacuum has to be replaced with something. If you ruin their faith entirely and don't replace it with something better, you can really screw them up emotionally. You can have that BORG mentality replaced by depression, plus you might lose any influence or relationship with her that you've established.

LisaRose

If you're going to create a vacuum, that vacuum has to be replaced with something.

Spoken like the Mormon you are. Why does anyone have to replace one cult with another? How about reason, logic and facts ? That would be a good start.

If you ruin their faith entirely and don't replace it with something better, you can really screw them up emotionally.

Well, that is setting a low bar. You don't need to replace one religion with another. How about just seeing how it feels not to have someone telling you what to think, do and say? Why would it "screw someone up emotionally" to stop believing in ancient fables?

You can have that BORG mentality replaced by depression, plus you might lose any influence or relationship with her that you've established.

Assuming that leaving the Borg will make you depressed. It was an adjustment for me, but I was never depressed, I enjoyed the newfound freedom. Fifteen years out, I've never been happier.

Really Cold Steel, stop trolling for new recruits for your cult.

FusionTheism

GoingThruTheMotions,

So, you're verbally abusive, and not a nice person in general from what I can see here, so why would anyone want to help you?

I've been "out" for 12 years, so, yeah, you assuming that I'm still "brainwashed" doesn't make much sense.

TheListener

I love my wife and want her to be happy - and free. I can't stand seeing her in mental anguish that she can't do enough to satisfy Jehovah and his organization. I can't stand knowing that she has to deal with the thought of her family dying at armageddon. I hate the fact that she and I can't or won't talk about certain taboo subjects because they may bring up too much emotional pain or touch on a subject that will unleash a torrent of emotion that's difficult to control and can cause lasting damage to a relationship. I am sad and hurt that we can't go to a marriage counselor to help us work through these problems because she has refused to go - since they can't make me do what I need to do - go back to the organization.

help catagorize my wife: I truely believe she suffers from cognitive dissonance and other things this stupid cult causes.

Share this