Help? :(

by BlackWolf 41 Replies latest jw experiences

  • zeb

    Lots of good advice here if I may I will just add one little piece. Oprah Winfrey had a life survival thing she would do. She kept a diary and each day she wrote three things that are positive she experienced in that day. and.. there will be times there are none we all have days like that when bad news makes a queue at the door. So then you note that the day had nothing in it but it is over and can never crap you off again.

    You may be able to do a paper for school on social studies based on what you see here!

    big hugs


    ps. I have been in a cong years back where I avoided most people for a lot of the reasons you site here.

  • Driving Force
    Driving Force


    Great that you had the courage to write here. Lots of people are on your side.

    Do not give up your dreams, I did to become a JW, but after 28 years I realize what a bad decision that was.

    Do not give up, hang in there.

    Thinking of you from another continent.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Blackwolf, you have made the best step in your life so far, by turning your back on the Org and looking in the opposite direction! Now start to walk slowly by listening to folks here who can help to guide you.

    As FayeDunaway said, do not get baptized if you haven't already done it. Also, don't discuss with any active J.W. what you feel about the Org - no matter who they are - because they will turn you in!

    Best wishes on your education here!

  • Slave4_38y
    Welcome BlackWolf. I’m sorry to hear about your predicament. You should always remember that no dark patch is permanent and like Faye said, your life will be amazing once you get through this. In the meantime, may I suggest you take up Geocaching as a hobby. My two teenage daughters love it. You get to go outdoors, learn new things about people and places and have fun fun fun! And you might make a new friend or two. Register for free at and download free software from Google Play – I suggest c:geo from the c:geo team or Geocaching from Groundspeak.
    Oh and keep on posting – it’s therapeutic!
  • marmot

    Hi Blackwolf, lots of good advice here, I won't toss in my 2 cents but if you have Netflix watch "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt."

    It's about a girl who escapes from an underground doomsday cult and manages to make a clean start in New York City. It's very funny and uplifting and I think it might resonate with you.

  • BlackWolf
    Thank you all for your great advice :)
  • Heaven

    Hi BlackWolf and welcome to the board.

    Wow.... your story resonates with me so much. I was your age when I started doubting. That was back in the late 1970s (yeah, I'm getting older... something the Watchtower said would never happen... hint #1 they are full of it).

    I'll tell you what I did and I hope it helps. I secretly planned my life. It is good you have a goal of Art school. Do not give up on this. Look into how you can accomplish taking this after you graduate 'high school' (or the equivalent). My plan was to go and study Computers in College. And I did it. I just had my 30th career anniversary. There IS life outside of JW-land. ;0)

    About money... my folks never saved for my education so I started working as a teenager. I babysat and got a part time job at a convenience store. Whatever you do, start saving your money. There are usually financial programs available to assist students with post-secondary education. I had to get a loan from the government in Ontario, Canada to help with my schooling. But I took it. AND... once I graduated College and got my job, I paid that loan back. One of the key things I did was to move away from home to go to school. It was a fun adventure. I got away from my parents trying to influence me with JW crap. And I got very busy.

    You CAN do this. Start planning now. Look into how you can do this. And have fun!

  • Deltawave
    At the time, just keep the peace in the home. A family I know in my hall have just booked their teenage son out for not following their rules. Soon enough you will be old enough to do your own thing. Xx
  • mychainsaregone
    I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I was raised as a JW also, but was in public school. I never seemed to fit in with anyone. My mother was raised as Church of Christ and my father was raised Baptist. They disliked each other's religions, so they found another one. This was around 1970 and I think it was when my mother was pregnant with me that they started studying with JWs. Along the time that my older sister was entering kindergarten, my mother was hesitant to enroll her, since the time of the end was to be in 1975 and she was starting in 1974. My dad insisted that she start school and stopped attending the meetings along the time that he knew that the prophecy that was made didn't come true. I didn't put that together until I was grown, but I realize now that's what happened. It's funny what a small child really does understand and remembers as an adult. My mother continued to go to meetings and took us (my sister and me) with her. As we got older, we rebelled and got involved with "worldly" children and did "worldly" things. We were never baptized and we grew way away from the "truth." Our mother kept going to the kingdom hall and to the day she died, believed in her heart that they were right. It's only been since my mother died that I have really started digging into the roots of the JW religion and found out about all of the false prophecies that were made even before the one about 1975. JWs are warned to not read "apostate" literature, to study the Bible on their own or to attend any other church and it's because they are afraid that their followers will learn the truth about the "truth." I'm sure that the elders in the kingdom halls don't know the real truth about all the false prophecies. I was so messed up before I came to know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As a child, I was taught sin would keep us from eternal life and that it was even a sin to be raped and that a person who was raped, would not inherit God's Kingdom, so it was better to be killed than to be raped.... Wow....We do not "earn" salvation by our works! Salvation is a free gift to whosoever believeth in HIM! When I was young, I always felt doomed, and knew I was not worthy... none of us are worthy and it's an insult to what Jesus did for us to think that we can earn salvation. Jesus was the atoning sacrifice for all of our sins, the only ONE who was without sin who could have possibly satisfied the Father in Heaven. That doesn't give us a free pass to do whatever we want, but it does mean that He forgives us. Once we truly belong to Him, we can't be plucked from the hand of the Father!
  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    Welcome to this board.

    Try to sit comfortably, please take a deep breath... Release. Repeat exercise 5 times. Document how it has helped your immediate mood/emotions.

    Your 15 year old hormones are raging like mad at this point and no kind of decision should be considered under these circumstances. Not everyone at the KH is not "mean and judgmental".

    Concentrating and accentuating the positive stuff in your life will get you through your crazy hormonal adjusting teenage years with sanity.

    Welcome to this board. Navigate it very carefully.


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