JW's and depression

by FeelingFree 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  eyeuse2badub

  Afrikanman--

  Your experience is eerily like my own. It all culminated about 3 years ago. I resigned as an elder about 5 years ago. Been a dub 53 years an elder off and on for 20 years. Tried to commit suicide and spent 3 week in a psych ward. No longer on meds and have found true peace in the real world. Still trying to get my loving wife out and my 4 terrific children are just hanging in there but not doing much.

  Yes leading an unnatural life with an unnatural view of life definitely led me to the point of desperation. I'm 99% faded an go once in a while for my wife's sake. No fs for 3 years now and no shepherding calls yet.

  You will recover and be a better person once you do. Peace and happiness be with you my brother.

  Just sayin'

  eyeuse2badub
• 

  Darth Fader The Sequel

  I have been baptized for 25 years. I have seen a lot of people suffer in "the truth". Particularly adult single sisters and married sisters. The JW game is completely rigged against them. It is set up to keep them under control, franticly running fool's errands, unable to seek any real fulfillment in their lives. If we actually could do a comprehensive survey and study of the JW culture and its members I am convinced we would see astronomical levels of depression amongst the women in "the truth". I am also convinced we would see unprecedented rates of highly mysterious illnesses such as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Lupus, etc. Now, I am not minimizing or criticizing the women who have or think they have these illnesses. They are obviously suffering physically. But I am a big believer in the overwhelming stress of living a contrived JW life as the main factor in these women being so sick and so unable to live normal lives.

  What is incredibly sad is that these people who suffer from this depression and very *real-to-them* mysterious illnesses will almost always come to a conclusion, with the help of their fellow devout JW's and the constant stream of "do more, pray more, preach more" bilge from the GB, that they have allowed themselves to be flawed, have not tried hard enough, and that their solution to everything is more field service. They do not step back and take a very real assessment of their life and make very drastic changes to it so as to regain some level of happiness. Instead, that happiness is projected down the road to some fuzzy other life they are expecting to have one day. No value is put on living well in the life they have RIGHT NOW!!!!!! It is the ultimate procrastination. To procrastinate a fulfilling life now for one you assumed is promised to you. So hollow.
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  humbled

  I was a cradle Catholic, wandered into the clutches of the Witnesses at 35 years of age.

  Catholic guilt and Irish genes, a difficult family situation and the being a JW for 22 years.

  Depression? OH YEAH! up-and-down-in-and-out. the only good was reading the gospels without the propaganda attached. all that eventually got me through religion and out.

  In and out of counselling when I could afford it--even as a JW. Small spurts without real--like taking an antibiotic for tooshort a time.....

  This past month suffered a mental collapse that sent me to a mental health facility. I am having to deal with the aftermath--

  -I do recognize the effects of trusting a sky-daddy to write the narrative of your own life. I suffer terribly from overwhelming sadness at the mis-use of the precious time with my children and husband. when I see the strugglesof my children I cannot help but grieve for my mistakes.

  JW's suffer certainly from religious distortion of our mental/emotional growth. But other religions can be hazards to us as well.
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  FeelingFree

  Darth Fader- I had forgotten about all these weird illnesess JW's suffer from and your right it is in the majority, women who suffer with them. I had never heard of fibromyalgia until one of my friends said she had been diagnosed with it. Still dont quite get what it is either! It almost seems to me that the people who have these illnesses wallow in it and sort of enjoy having an illness and have no interest in getting better. I sound so judgmental but this is just what I have observed from several people. Also seem to really love telling people they have them and the simpathy it elicits. I wonder if its some way of wrestling back some control over a aspect of their life and themselves?
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  Ajax

  Mauve -

  So sorry to hear about your troubles.

  Just so you know - I have for two or three years been reading your replys and responses to others in this forum. You show a refreshing and genuine humanity, and usually spoken with a beautiful poetic clarity. (Irish laureate genes?)

  You have placed us all in good company, even though many of us, with you, struggle with anger and depression from being conned and trapped by a cult.

  A year or so ago, there was a thread "Who would you most like to meet from this board?" Had I replied, you were right at the top of my list. I count you among my friends as a person of compassion and mercy. Please know that others are always thinking of you fondly ...xoxo
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  Frazzled UBM

  ff - fyi A Watcher is still a captive of the organisation and so sees the world through that distorted lens. Depression goes with beign a Witness like bread goes with butter. How do you expect people to react when they are fed a constant diet of gloom and doom and 'no matter what you are doing it is not good enough'?
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  lurkernomore

  @watcher - yes a hope for the future you are apparently putting in doubt by being on a site such as this one, at least according to the 7 apostles :p
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  humbled

  Ajax,

  Found your note this morning. Your kind words coming out from the flat screen nevertheless were full and round for me. thanks

  --The anonymity that is neccesary to be open about our pain imposes certain limits here. But along with it there are aspects that are unbounded and wonderful as well---from out of the blue we can experience a drive-by soothing.

  Have a lovely day.

  Maeve
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  Vidiot

  Word on the XJW grapevine a while back was that at one point, the WTS started to discreetly investigate just how much clinical depression was to be found amongst the R&F...

  ...and apparently didn't like what was discovered.

  x

  It was shortly after that their official policy was "JWs are the happiest people on earth! (period)"

  x

  BTW, Southern plantation owners 200 years ago said virtually the exact same thing about their slaves.

  Splash - "The mental abuse is endemic."

  All the internal problems the WTS has at this point are so endemic, in fact, that the only thing that would fix them would be an overhaul of the Organization so thorough and radical that - at this point in its life cycle - it wouldn't survive, because it would arguably no longer be Jehovah's Witnesses.
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  silent

  I had quit going to meetings in the mid-90s becoming quite disillusioned with it all and enjoying my freedom and life in general. I was still plagued with fears of Armageddon after being scarred over the years from seeing the depictions of people in the literature dying at Armageddon. I started going back to meetings in 2001 right after the attack on the World Trade Center - figuring this was the start of Armageddon. Funny thing, just in order to go back to the meetings, I had to get on a steady dose of anti-depressants due to severe suicidal thoughts and never, ever feeling good enough about myself because no matter what you do, it's never good enough in that religion. Finally I had enough again and was just sick and tired of having to be on an anti-depressant (Celexa and Paxil) and popping a sedative (Lorazepam) before every meeting just to be able to go not to mention all the embrassing trips to the doctor. I quit going to the meetings cold turkey, did the same with my pills, and have been off of anti-depressants for 5 years. I told an elder that as soon as the congregation pays for my pills, I'll be able to go back. No offers yet.