Waking up your spouse

by All for show 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    To sum it up, he can not stand how they talk about how loving, united, we are compared to others, when he feels we are the most UNloving group.

    Seems to me that the dude in the white robe that established the cult known as "Christians" said something about the "love" being an important, identifying factor.

    If the LOVE is not there identifying the group, then shouldn't he be compelled to look elsewhere?

    My faith in the bOrg took a huge hit as I sat (as a newly appointed elder) and watched 2 different BOEs from the 2 Congs that shared the KHall bitterly fight and plot against the other. It gave "Feel the Love" a whole new meaning.

    Doc

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Yes waking up the spouse or other family members needs to be done carefully and methodically.

    My grown up daughter and I woke up around the same time. I kept telling her she was good at thinking for herself and that she didn't want to have any regrets.

    She eventually stopped going and successfully faded

    I don't know if my input helped though she could have left anyway.

    I wish u all the best in trying to wake your hubby.

    Kate xx

  • Brainfloss
    Brainfloss

    I say do a google search for the best Sunday brunch in a city near you...not right in your area somewhere a hour or so away. encourage him to miss the meeting to go there. Followed up with some very positive reinforcement from his wife, if you know what I mean, show him the joys of having some real free time with his wife. you know best what the two of you like the brunch is just a suggestion. dont talk about the meeting or doctrine or the ttat at all just be a normal couple spending time together he will want to do it again soon.

    best of luck

    brainfloss

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    You can use his headship to your advantage by asking him bible questions that as a jw he will not be able to answer with out contradicting the bible or the gb. Start with little ones and work your way up.

  • Terry
    Terry

    STEP ONE

    Determine whether the attachment to Jehovah's Witnesses is an emotional one (social, fear of death, wanting to see dead loved ones,) or intellectual (disproving false religion, chronology, doctrine.)

    If the attachment is EMOTIONAL--you can't do a damned thing until your wife gets a whiff of the skunk when what she needs is the sweet scen of Christian love.

    If the attachment is INTELLECTUAL, this will be easy.

    You stick with the most basic fundamental and foundational premise and do not waver.

    FALSE PROPHETS have a test clearly indicated in scripture.

    Ask her if she is willing to apply that test to the history of "Truth" teachings concerning 1874, 1914, 1925 and 1975.

    If she is unwilling, she is intellectually dishonest and suffering cognitive dissonance. You won't have her ear or her heart.

    Deu 18:20 But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.
    Deu 18:21 And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken?
    Deu 18:22 When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

    _______________

    Who do the GB say they get their "Truth" from? JEHOVAH.

    What is the name on their magazine and their religion? JEHOVAH.

    When they send 7 million people out to say something in JEHOVAH'S name as JEHOVAH'S Witnesses---and the things they say are FALSE . . .what

    else can you call it but prophesying in HIS NAME?

    You can deal with an honest person but you can't deal with an emotional one.

    Determine what is what and which is which.

    In the meantime, the very best thing you can do is to demonstrate the BENEFIT of freedom of thought and the HAPPINESS of not being constrained

    by a cult.

    If your wife has no emotional alternative why would she change her mind?

    YOU CANT TAKE THE MOST IMPORTANT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT from a person and give them a "black hole" as an alternative.

    JW's are told the ONLY ALTERNATIVE is this "wicked" "dying" system of things which is "perishing".

    Show her an honest alternative with genuine, generous, charitable and loving people who are REAL and you are half-way there.

  • eyeuse2badub
    eyeuse2badub

    What is working for me is to casually remark about things mentioned in the Bible reading that do not sound right or that "sort of" conflict with jw teachings. I have been much more attentive to her since fading simply because I now have the time. My time is not now occupied with 'studying' wt crap that just mindlessly repeats itself. No more fs means time on the weekends to go places and do things together. We ride touring motorcycles together now. I can see that she is not as convinced as she once was and misses many more meetings.

    True love for real life is now beginning to dawn on her also----I hope.

    just saying

    eyeuse2badub

  • DisArmed
    DisArmed

    My ex is one of the smartest people I know. When she and I discussed any topic regarding the error of JW world she could not cope with the cognitive dissonance. She would shut down and go into the, well we just have trust Jehovah and the GB, mantra. I tried different approaches and many times there would be only one conclusion and it would not be in agreement with Wally World. She would never take that final step and say they are wrong. My point being, with some people, no matter how smart one may be, he or she will stay. Know when to give up and move on for the sake of your own well being.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Welcome, All for show, and a very smart move in not crossing that line.

    Many here have observed that questions work best.

    Simple.

    Strategic.

    Incremental.

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Terry - How can you tell which it is, emotional or intellectual? Whatt are some indicators and do those indicators change if we're dealing with a born in?

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