Starting to wonder if I need organised religion.
In the last year before she died, my mother started attending a local Lutheran church. I suspect one of the reasons was to keep her children off her back, as we were expressing concern about her living on her own. I mentioned that she would get more social interaction in a senior's care facility and so on. So she launched out and found a social group on her own.
We had a service for her at the church, and I specifically asked for a church potluck, which I think is one of the highlights. It was nice to see that there were people who missed mom and knew her in her last year. One of the congregation members discreetly watched out for me and made sure I was taken care of. That was very nice.
I also attend a church regularly and for me it is tying in to the community, seeing the same faces every week, and the singing. There are people checking in on me and asking how I am doing on a regular basis. It is comforting. And I do love to sing.
That all being said, only go when you feel like it and there is no obligation to continue.
Quelly, I really think that some personalities need organized religion and others just don't. I don't need organized anything. I am bipolar with anxiety and seasonal mood disorder. The least relaxing thing I could do on a weekend after being "on" all week at work, is to get up and go to church or any other large gathering, for that matter.
Your health comes first and you just might not be a "joiner," especially of large groups. And, that's okay. Spiritual pursuits can happen on your own time and by yourself if you feel the need.
You need to take care of yourself, though, or it all falls apart.
Ever hear this?: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you......
Whether or not you deal with a psychological issue doesn't mean you must push yourself into actions that are not helpful to your well-being.
The comments above make sense to me. Do what nourishes your spirit without torturing yourself with rule/doctrine.
Find happiness where you can.
So, you left an Org'd religion to go into another. Perhaps you enjoy some sort of structured association. Rather than isolating yourself, keep trying to find a group that validates you and stick with it. Maybe it is not in a religious group; see if doing some humanitarian work satisfies your needs.