i was happy before i woke up (page 3)

OneEyedJoe

I'm still somewhat where you are. It's tremendously frustrating to have this in the back of my mind every time I look at my wife, and not be able to just explode with everything I now know. That said, I wouldn't unlearn TTATT if I could. I want to live in reality, even if it's not as good as the dream. I'm like you, though, in that I never fit in - so the dream wasn't that great either.

So while I don't have much useful advice for you, hopefully it will help to hear one more voice telling you you're not alone.

a watcher

itisme, I agree with you. You can be a witness and be yourself. You just have to focus on your personal relationship with Jehovah and not let others stumble you.

jgnat

A question for itisme and a watcher. How can you be true to yourself in this organization where you have serious doubts, when the mark of a true Witness is one who goes out in to field service? Do you continue to go out in to field service? How do you honestly express your new beliefs to the householders?

gingerbread

Many JW's put on their Kingdom Hall uniform.

Field service has morphed into a social event.

Most don't believe ALL of it anymore.

We couldn't pretend (deceive ourselves) anymore and quietly stepped off the JW merry-go-round over a year ago. Boy do things look different when you examine this religion while standing with your feet firmly planted on the ground (reality).

ginger

a watcher

jgnat, I don't understand your question. Are you talking about me personally or about a hypothetical JW who has doubts?

zophar

Jgnat

"Field Service" or counting time?

It all depends on one's definition of "sacred service." When Raymond Franz was still on the GB he was instrumental in changing the WT definition of that term. It basically means living day to day as a Christian or displaying Christ like qualities. It has NOTHING to do with "field service" or going door to door. So one can turn in a preaching report without going out in "field ministry". And when talking with others you can tell TTATT.

It comes back to who you allow to make rules for you.

jgnat

a watcher, doesn't it follow if you are being wholly yourself you can't conform to all the dictates of the WTS? I agree there are Witnesses who live this compromise every day, but it means their activities don't match their inner convictions at some level.

jgnat

So zophar, you count time in any form by being a good witness?

zophar

Jgnat. It is partly what I do and partly hypothetical. At some point one has to stand firm by their convictions if they really are going to be true to themselves. But one can also be cautious as a serpent as to who they "preach" to.

I don't know if this is a good illustration or not. The Govt requires I pay taxes. I don't agree with a war they are waging that will use some of my tax money. That is their responsibility how they use my money, I fulfilled my obligation.

Since I don't think God requires me to "count time" but JW do I can fulfill that requirement on my terms. It is not ideal but I still feel true to myself. Revealing TTATT where and when I can.

a watcher

"...if you are being wholly yourself you can't conform to all the dictates of the WTS."---jgnat

That is true for me, but some JW's ARE being wholly themselves in conforming to all the dictates.

i was happy before i woke up

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