Was it worth it?

by John Aquila 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • gda
    gda

    3rd gen

    looks pretty unanimous above....

    I didn't lose anything since I was never interested hypocritical friendships so I never made or had a friend, ("the friends")...were never friends of mine. Rarely saw family and I never pushed my kids into the mind set since I had 3 worldly husbands.

    yeah....very worth it.

  • Bonsai
    Bonsai

    Was it worth it? I honestly don't know yet.

    It's been hard to start over.

    No god and no justice and no afterlife.

    What did I replace them with?

    Freedom? What freedom? We live for a short while. We build up our assets and when we die (often suddenly) we lose everything.

    This earth, on it's present course, is in deep trouble.

    Can mankind unite quickly enough before it's too late?

    I have my doubts...

    It's been really hard to replace one set of hopes for another.

    I hope things get better...

  • JakeM2012
    JakeM2012

    Yes it was worth it. I lost family, friends, and financially. Yet, I have a sister that will still talk with me, and several of my brothers I do not want any contact with so that is no hurt. My mom will not talk with me, even though I am not DF'd or DA'd. That is somewhat a bummer. But I try, I send her cards, call her when I am in town and leave messages on the phone.

    I'm just glad not to be going to the Kingdom Hall every other day and twice on the weekend. Add in the time lost in Elders meetings, working on the kingdom hall, doing the lawn maintenance etc, and building other peoples kingdom halls. The time that the religion consumes is just unbelievable.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    It is beyond difficult to maintain the "witness" life once the REAL truth has been learned....

  • NVR2L8
    NVR2L8
    When we became JW in the late 50's we lost our whole family and friends because they didn't want to join us in the truth...and because we replaced them by our new brothers and sisters. We no longer had time for our relatives and no longer could get together for celebrations like birthdays and other holidays. When you leave the cult, you're reversing this process and I have started reconnecting with relatives I hadn't had contact with for decades. They have received me with open arms and there's a lot of tears of happiness when we meet. They never stopped loving me...it's the cult that got between us. Unlike my JW "friends" who never called or inquired on my sudden disappearing from the Kingdom Hall, my relatives and new friends keep in touch on a regular basis. I have absolutely no regrets leaving the cult and I find it hard to have a conversation with my family that is still in because all they have to talk about is related to the cult.
  • rebel8
    rebel8
    Absolutely. I am free, not only of toxic beliefs, but of a toxic lifestyle and toxic people.
  • happy@last
    [email protected]

    What are you defining as 'it'?

    Leaving something that had total control over me, not allowing me to think for myself or be the real me and causing me to have a nervous breakdown, I'd say yes. I just wished I had left earlier and my kids had not been subjected to such evil.

    Being shunned by 99% of my friends and family was a sacrifice I had to make for getting my own life back.

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    Funny I just was just discussing this with the wife.

    raised as witnesses. Few friends. Sacrifices. Etc. Then left as adults gave up the friends we had. Didn't have to.

    but in a way I did, have to. To be honest.

  • John Aquila
    John Aquila

    Like everyone has said,

    Yes it was damm worth it.

    I lost all my friends that I built up over a lifetime. I lost a great woman of almost 30 years and we had a great marriage. I lost a great life style, a big home, and about a million dollars in the bank went to legal fees for the divorce and unbeknown to me, hundreds of thousands went to the Watchtower. And now I am living in a small apartment about 500 square-ft. And it’s hard to build up another large group of friends at this late point in my life.

    But once you get through the hell of knowing you were scammed and a victim of a cult, the feelings and emotions of the freedom you now have are indescribable.

    I need to have a measure of truth in my life. I could never go back to the WT and live a lie. Even if I would get back everything I’ve lost, I just couldn’t go back.

    And like JakeM2012 said:

    just glad not to be going to the Kingdom Hall every other day and twice on the weekend. Add in the time lost in Elders meetings, working on the kingdom hall, doing the lawn maintenance etc, and building other peoples kingdom halls. The time that the religion consumes is just unbelievable.

    Bonsai

    Was it worth it? …... No god and no justice and no afterlife.

    My advice to you is;

    That’s an assumption that you can’t proof absolutely and never will in this lifetime. So it really doesn’t matter if you do believe or don’t believe or don’t give a hoot.

    Once I realized that we will never know those things you mentioned, I stopped searching for A complete answer. Then my life started getting better mentally and emotionally. Now I can concentrate on my physical well being.

    Things do get better with time and a little effort.

  • flipper
    flipper
    Yes. It was SO worth it. To gain freedom of mind and to NOT be told what to believe or not believe in is priceless. I would make the same decision today as I did 12 years ago to just walk away from it cold turkey. And from this vantage point in my life as an inactive ex-JW who is not DFed- I can still have hope to eventually get one or both of my adult daughters out of the JW cult - with time and patience. I have all the time in the world now to do it right , correctly, and with patience

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