Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains...

by MissFit 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MissFit

    πŸ™† Hi everyone.

    I just realized that it has been over a year since I discovered this site and started to recognize I was shackled by invisible chains.

    I am still in the process of chipping away on those chains.

    I posted on another thread how these threads here are like little time capsules. The moment, the emotions, the attitudes are all there frozen.

    It is very interesting to look back and be able to trace my personal journey of discovery.

    I have been able to learn alot about myself and also understand myself a little better.

    It was very reassuring to learn that there were others that had similar experiences.

    Some things I discovered:

    πŸ™ˆIt wasn't me, it was them:

    I was trying, but nothing was ever good enough and it will never be as long as I stay as a JW.

    πŸ™‰ My self worth is not dependent on this religion, "the friends", or the elders.

    πŸ™Š I am not a dead person walking. I am not a condemned person just waiting for God'S Judgement. I do not deserve death, my family does not deserve death.

    πŸ™ˆ I do not have to look over my shoulder in fear. I do not have to dwell in the past full of guilt.

    πŸ™‰ I have started to think for myself and question things instead of assuming I know the answers.

    🐡 Have you noticed a difference in yourself since you have been on this site?

    For better or for worse?

    How have you changed?

    πŸ’–πŸ‘ Thank you everyone for making a difference in my life.


  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Same here, I have grown as a person in the past 5 years and this site has played a large part in that. I think that is why i keep coming here several times a day to catch up.

    Better to have questions you cant answer than answers you cant question, this was phrase that stuck with me.

    Accepting that I had been duped and under mind control for most of my life is a major part of the healing process.

  • stuckinarut2

    Great comments MissFit!

    I couldnt agree more with the points you have made!


  • Phizzy

    I started a Thread aweek or so ago on this very subject, it was interesting that those who have only been out a short while, like yourself, see dramatic changes in themselves for the better.

    This is not a process that stops, unless you make it do so, the longer you are out, the more you educate yourself, the better you become as a person, and much happier too !

    I wish I had done what Passwordprotected did and kept a Journal of my journey to date, with my innermost thoughts in it, that way I could really study the changes in myself.

    I am a very different person to the one who walked away from the clutches of the cult about 7 years ago, I am a much more balanced and tolerant individual, I am much more relaxed, happy in my own skin, I am now the real me.

  • MissFit

    Hi. Witness my Fury...5 years long did it take you to start accepting?

    I'm still reevaluating everything I thought I knew.

    Some things I haven't even touched yet. Baby steps.

  • stuckinarut2

    I agree Phizzy!

    I am a more balanced and tolerant person, much more relaxed and comfortable in my own skin too!

    You put that very well!

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    I wish I'd kept a diary as well LOL.

    The accepting part is an ongoing thing too. I went thru many emotions, but i think acceptance took about 3 years for me, I was slow and took my time to exit as once i realised I'd probably been duped I was extra careful not to repeat that mistake and just take anyones word for it. So if I read stuff here about things I needed to research I would go and do it.

    Facing my own mortality is a big issue for me, I really believed I might live forever!


    I still wake up at night with a shudder, realizing that I will die. Hopefully that will go away.


  • happy@last
    [email protected]

    It does get easier with time.

    On the point of keeping a diary, I wrote a long 'essay' when I first stopped going as there was so much going on in my head and wanted it down on paper, I do that to de-clutter my thoughts. I then thought it would be good to write another one a year later, and I did another one for year 3, however I won't do it again as I have nothing more to say, I am a free person (all relative I know) but my last 'essay' amounted to very few words.

  • jookbeard

    another milestone passed, wonderful isnt it?

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