there has always been an uncertain line between our human need for consolation and our human need to use our thinking faculties so we won't be as vulnerable to being "deceived" by all manner of claims and counterclaims, religious or otherwise.
Along the way, I have realized that I'd rather know something was wrong than choose to accept it because of my need to be comforted and consoled.
That is exactly how I feel Steve.
Too me, just saying bad God (or bad anyone else who did something atrocious in the past) is doing the comforting thing.
"God did this....it is shockingly bad to me- therefore I wont believe in him"
seems to be self comforting and an effort to control what happens.
When I gave up the reins (of being controlled and trying to control) i replaced them with a vow to myself to try to understand.
The universe, God, life, a ressurection of the dead, immortality/or not....its all up for rethinking for me now.
What I cannot do is slip myself in to some kind of mental recliner where I lay back and think "now THIS is comfortable!"
No. If I am making a break, then a break it shall be. Not going to try to bring the facts, the past OR the future, down to my level.
I am a human. My thinking is always going to be flawed. I can tell that by looking at past humans. It is part of our humanity.
People who thought the earth was flat went by what they could see. They did what "felt right". They were sincere but they were sincerely wrong, turns out.
Science is better but our understanding of it is STILL sometimes flawed.
I dont think that God (if he exists at all) has to fit in to my human parameters of what is "kind" anymore than the sun, moon and stars do.
I dont think that love necessarily defined as "kindness". I also think doing the right thing in a given moment can trump love.
Another poor illustration:
A young man breaks in to a home. Hes been abused and battered his whole life. As a result he lives on drugs. In spite of this he is a gentle giant. He never carries a gun, only breaks in to houses where he thinks no one is home. He is only hoping to find something he can take to turn in to cash.
Upstairs is a young mother. She has just come out of an abusive relationship but has turned it around for herself by getting a gun and training to use it.
When she hears footsteps on the stairs she opens the nursery door, fires and kills the man.
He's dead. She killed to protect her young. Was she mean?
Was it unfair that he had to die? After all, he never hurt a soul in his life. He was one of lifes victims.
There are a long liist of questions and possible motivations that could be included but I wont go on and on with it.
The "easy" answer is to say "Well God should know better - hes God." (Be more lofty, elevated etc..)
Agreed. But he didnt. Either this is a made up story or it happened.
If it did happen, why? What other motivations or reasons or circumstances could be in play here?
That is all I am trying to do.
Like I said above, Im not Gods lawyer. Im just not going to jump from where I was to -"I was mistreated as a JW therefore everything God does is pathetic."
Im also not going to jump to -"He didnt play out according to my human brains ideas of a God therefore he doesnt exist at all."
That would be slipping in to that mental and emotional sweet spot. Easy to do. And very popular nowadays.
Being agnostic (which I would say I am bordering on) or atheistic is trending if you look at polls.
Another reason to step carefully. I dont plan to run with the herd from here on. If a bunch of people think an idea is great- it probably isnt.
Floundering' away again in Margaritaville (minus the margarita at the moment - its 9 a.m.)
Searching for my lost shaker of beliefs and values
Some people claim that there's a religion to blame
But I know, it's my own damn fault
