Over the last years I had a lot of discussions with the elders about several things I believe differently. The most crucial things were the "shunning" and "blood doctrine."
Last december I told the elders that I would accept blood in a medical urgency for myself and my little son and I wrote them all my reasons for it, even biblical reasons (I had to tell them, because otherwise my wife would have told them). Here is the link to that thread:
In April the elders told me directly that they need an answer to the following questions. By the way I answer these questions they would decide if I can continue to be a Jehovah's witness (inside I am already longtime no JW).
Do you accept and believe that the faithful and discreet slave is the governing body and is directed by Jehovah? Do you accept the teachings that the faithful and discreet slave set up? Here the where I asked for some ideas how to answer those questions:
Now I would like to tell you how I answered those "loyalty questions" and how the elders decided.
I answered like that:
I respect the governing body as humans who lead an organisation, who without doubt gives its best, to live according to the bible and to serve Jehovah. Matth 18:20 says that if 2 or 3 are gathered in Jesus name, he is in their midst. In this sense I also believe that Jesus can be with the governing body if they are honestly gathered in his name. However I don't believe that Jehovah and Jesus are leading "all" their decisions and teachings now and in the past. But I can't give you a definite answer concerning this, because I am just a small human being and can't read the toughts of god. I do not believe a teaching automatically, because it comes from the organisation. I believe in a teaching, if it is based firmly on the bible, not going over what is written and if it is in harmony with Jesus love. I dedicated myself to my heavenly father, the creator of all, and not to a human institution. Therefore my loyalty belongs to him, not a human organisation. I see myself therefore as a servant of god and I try to live my daily life in a way that is pleasing to him.
So what do you think, how would the elders respond to that statement?
I sent it by e-mail to them. I decided for myself, that I will never ever talk to them again about my personal faith. I will not give them anymore authority over my life.
A few days later I received a reply from the Cobe saying. "Thanks for your mail."
Then I didn't hear anything for nearly 1 and 1/2 months. Just last week I received a phone call. 2 elders were calling. They told me, that I obviously don't accept the gb's teachings. There I just blocked off, because I was not in a position to talk freely.
So I called one elder a few days later, asking him to repeat it. First he told me, that normally they need to be 2 elders for that, but nevertheless he will tell me their decision.
He explained to me, that I obviously don't accept some main JW teachings like the blood doctrine. I agreed that this is the case and that I don't agree at all with the society's view on blood (this point is very important for me). He told me that as I don't agree with fundamental JW teachings, I would be prone to apostasy. So the elders decided that I am not allowed to talk to any other brother or family member about these things (he doesn't know, that my family and close friends know about my views). If I did that, they would form a judicial committee. Finally he said he hopes I will come to the meetings and if I need to, I can discuss these issues only with the elders.
Actually this outcome is not that bad. The elders won't harass me with more discussions about it. From the phone call I have the feeling that they will leave me with it.
Since december I am not going in field service (no report) and since February I am missing most of the meetings. Next week is the first time that I don't attend the convention.
To see the truth about the truth and to be free inside from this indoctrination makes me feel happy.