17 year old son is blaming me for ruining his life from the Cult. He's complaining "I could have been a high school sports star!"

by PhilsWager2 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs


    All you can do is say, "I'm sorry. I couldn't teach you what I didn't know." Then just be supportive of his dreams.

    He's pissed, and rightly so. You can probably reason it out later, when he gains some perspective. Lets face it, he's 17.

    He doesn't have much life experience and shouldn't be judging you. He still needs to be respectful, IMO.


  • Ding
    Your son is going to miss out on a lot of other opportunities if he doesn't stop looking backward and start looking at what's in front of him.
  • _Morpheus
    I fall into the camp some others have : lifes a bitch and then you marry one. Hes 17! Life has just begun and hes more than able to make a go of whatever sport he wants.... But nobody ever got anywhere feeling sorry for themselves. Shut up and do something about it :)
  • Wild_Thing

    One of my favorite sayings is:

    "When you know better, you do better." - Maya Angelou

    Your son is too young and immature to understand this, but I hope one day he will.

    It is normal for teenagers (and even young adults) to blame their parents for _________ (insert blank here). We could all blame our parents for something.

    One day he will grow up and realize everybody has a screwed up childhood of some sort ... his was just much more "interesting"! All of us have to realize eventually that the past is the past, and ultimately we are responsible for our choices going forward. That is a life lesson to learn no matter how old you are.

  • LisaRose

    Tell him you did the best you knew how to do at the time, when you knew better, you did better. How can he expect better than that?

    It is a shame he didn't get a chance to go for his dream, but it doesn't mean that's the only dream he can ever have. As long as he is playing "what if", instead of being born to a JW family, what if: He was born blind or he was born in a poor, third world country or he was autistic or he had cancer.

    I wasted most of my life on this stupid cult, I was forty five and had health problems by the time I got out, but I don't dwell on that, I just am thankful I didn't waste any more time than that, and I enjoy the life I have right now.

    Attitude is everything.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Seventeen? Still in High School? Let him join the team and show what he's got.

    How did he do on his SAT or ACT? That's the better was to ensure getting ahead in life.

    Most wanna-be sports stars end up as teachers and school coaches because they really weren't as good as they thought they were. If he's got it, he'll go far. Put up or shut up.


  • Oubliette

    You've gotten some great advice so far, so I'll add this: "Son, you're right when you ask why didn't we learn TTATT sooner, but have you ever considered what your life would be like if we STILL thought it was "the Truth" like so many others?"

    "We figured it out when we figured it out. Yes, it could have been sooner, but it also could have been later or never at all."

    "As for your life being 'ruined,' you're really be a bit of a drama queen."

  • Spectre

    Oh how I wish I could go back in time to when I was 17. I would give anything to go back and tell my mom and step-dad they were in a cult, tell them why, drop mic and walk out. Then go to college and do what I really wanted to do with my life.

    But as it was I didn't bother to finish high school because, why bother? The end of the world is coming at any second! (I would have graduated in 1984).

    All I can say is have him figure out what he wants to do and go do it. At 17 he is the only one stopping himself.

  • PhilsWager2

    Thank you all! His biggest question that's really hard for me to answer is, why we arrived at the conclusion "this is not the Truth" because of physically bad actions vs researching truth? Asking he "Why did you allow the Watchtower society to keep your minds in prison?" is really hard to answer. The Watchtowers gave us chances, we had magazines, we heard talks during the Convention saying "Prove this is the truth again, that is how the weaker ones are getting re-activated! How come you did not prove it through intellectual means instead of letting them grind your emotions to dust?"

    I appreciate everyone's insight, how would you explain his problem we don't come to this conclusion until they abused us emotionally, mentally and physically? Jokely said "Not everyone can be a genius like you, we had ideas placed in our brains as kids(he said, so did I but not as strong as yours) and some of those ideas like 1975 took a big piece of our lives that won't be returned." He see's how wicked the witnesses can be but there are good ones too, can't people see just a fractional amount of good or have the elders and their wicked wives destroyed his spiritual desire for life? He's said the COBE helped him see "It's obvious there is no God or that fat piece of trash would get smite!" These Elders don't see their stumbling kids at young ages and still their out in Field Service trying to get people inside the Ark before it's too late!

    I should thank the Elders and COBE for helping remove the Cult from his mind, instead I wish he will glance over all different views before coming to a final one. I wonder if the majority of us were brought here because of bad conduct instead of intellectually seeking proof the Watchtower was not from the Intelligent Being.

  • _Morpheus
    Nope. I have never had particularly negative experiance with a brother or sister. It takes different things to wake people up. He needs to learn to let it go and live :)

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