Do you have any weird hang ups that you think are related to your history? I think I do:
Public speaking – I hate hate hate any form of public speaking. Job interviews, presentations (for job interviews or in the work environment), telephone interviews etc. I just clam up, go blank and feel so much pressure, it brings back a lot of negative feelings, and I only recently twigged that this is due to giving those stupid 5 minute talks when a kid, being encourage/forced to answer up as well as going on the service. Which leads to my next one…
Engaging with strangers – I find it really hard to do this and hate things like networking events. I had a job a few years ago that was working for local government, and it was a programme to support people in the area with kids aged under 4. We produced an free annual calendar as a promotional item, and this one year the programme manager decided that we didn’t have the money in the budget to send them by post and that it would be all hands on deck and staff members would have to go and hand deliver them. We were sent out in pairs and were asked to knock on the door and if the person was home, engage them in a chat and encourage them to come along to one of our family events. The thought of having to do this made me feel physically sick and brought back so many bad memories. I tried to get out it with no success. Luckily the colleague I was assigned with was a good friend and I told her how stressed I was about this and she was very sympathetic and did all the talking.
Demons – it has taken me a loooong time (been out over 20 years) to get past this. I hate horror films - maybe I would have hated them anyway? Maybe that’s just my personality…guess I’ll never know. Second hand things give me the heebie jeebies – I have a friend who loves antique & charity shops, and one day last summer we went out for the day to a town that has loads of these types of shops, and she was so happy spending the day rummaging around and finding interesting things. After the 3 rd or 4 th shop I couldn’t do it anymore, it made me feel nauseous. I just waited outside after that, good job it was a sunny day! I logically know that its all superstitious nonsense, and I would say I am now 95% over it, but sometimes it creeps back in.
I would be interested to hear if any others have similar hang ups related to being brought up as a JW/formely being a JW!