Thanks Kate, well said, as you will know , needing love and feeling good about oneself needn't require a religiou element.
I am DF'd and a JW sister called me to tell me she wants to leave
by KateWild 26 Replies latest jw experiences
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KateWild
I think the best bit is to do lots of listening and not so much talking!-Oub
Sometimes when ones are feeling guilty they tend not to talk so much, so I need to draw her out carefully and ask good questions. But I really don't know where to start, but she has made the first move, I will see what she confides in me. I will update you the next time I see her.
Kate xx
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ABibleStudent
HI KateWild, DITTO what other posters have written about listen to your friend first and then show her what may help her. Collect a smorgasbord of information that you can email her and/or show her after you learn what she wants. Also, do not under estimate the power of BITE control, so help your friend to realize that she is now empowered to live her life to her full potential and that she has many options to choose from.
IMHO your friend probably feels disillusioned with the WTBTS and feels worthless and possibly stupid. To help your friend overcome those feelings, I would recommend that you show her How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01) and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23). You need to be there when she watches those videos to help her to feel good about herself.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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Island Man
Build on what she has already told you - the lack of love she notices. Maybe you can share with her your own experience along the same lines. Tell her how you've been treated by your judicial committee. Try to get her to see that's it's a systematic, organization problem. JWs make showy acts of affection but it's often a stilted show of affection for the sake of proving to themselves and outsiders that they're christians, rather than genuine love.
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Island Man
But you do have to tread very carefully. The fact that she is longing for companionship and is willing to speak to you a disfellowshipped person could mean that she may not quickly resort to shunning you if you share some TTATT with her. Just tread slowly and carefully.
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Oubliette
Kate: Sometimes when ones are feeling guilty they tend not to talk so much, so I need to draw her out carefully and ask good questions.
Agreed!
I didn't meant to imply you shouldn't talk at all, but that when you do it should be all about making her feel comfortable, getting her to open up.
What you don't want to do, at least at first, is to unload on her all of your issues with the WT! Let her do that.
Oubliette
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Vidiot
Clearly she wants out, but is scared shitless of being alone (and I don't blame her, either, 'cause feeling alone sucks).
Realizing that one can leave and not be alone often feels like a huge burden has been lifted off one's shoulders.