I am DF'd and a JW sister called me to tell me she wants to leave

by KateWild 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Just thinking on the human side for a moment, I would still be a little guarded.-pubsinger

    Exactly! I don't want her to get the wrong end of the stick and consider me a dangerous apostate by WT standards, so hence this is why I am here looking for the best way to move forward. I know I can't live a lie with her and pretend I still think it all the "Truth", but I want her friendship and she wants mine.

    We all have a human need for companionship and that includes me.

    Kate xx

  • Pubsinger
    Pubsinger

    There is another alternative. All friendships are different. Yes we'd all like to shout TTATT from the highest building but that doesn't always work. I have salvaged some good friendships by simply agreeing not to talk religion. It can work :-)

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    That's amazing that she has reached out to you. She obviously knows she can trust you.

    Just keep it light. Let her open up to you. It was always so refreshing to talk to non-jw's when you we're "in". What's in the news, who's on the celebrity circuit etc....just easy chat. She'll really enjoy a break from all the kingdom hall politics..

    Keep us posted Kate.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Just give her a listening ear and show her genuine concern, love, compassion, and empathy - things which are in very short supply at the KH. Too busy worrying about about being a "trolly dolly" and adding to the monthly time-sheet!

  • galaxie
    galaxie

    Kate ,..if she still'believes ',she is in the same mindset as those who still believe in the existence of whatever god.

    Thats a very hard nut to crack , as you will know.

    Good luck with your friend.

    Best wishes.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Thanks quelly and Searcher. I know being a good friend is important but I still need to help her so she doesn't return out of guilt, so many are damaged mentally and are like yoyos going in and out. This is damaging for them and their families. She needs stability and hopefully I can show her how to be stable in her religious outlook.

    Kate xx

  • galaxie
    galaxie

    Kate ,..I note you say "keep her stable in her religious outlook", is that not what the JWs have been doing by their interpretation of religious out look?

    Would you therefore mean you would keep her stable by seeing things as you perceive them?

    My advice for what its worth would be to free herself from the deluded non...sense which has brought her to

    the position she now finds herself in. As always, best wishes to you both

  • galaxie
    galaxie

    Sorry kate please replace "keep her" with "show her".

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Well Glaxie, my friend is probably guilt ridden at the moment from what I can see. This is something I think I need to find out more about, but she is also unhappy with the lack of love. She needs to learn how to feel good about herself.

    If I can find out how she is suffering from cognitive dissonance it will be easier to know where to begin.

    Kate xx

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Hi Kate, this is great!

    You've gotten some great advice. I think the best bit is to do lots of listening and not so much talking!

    Let us know how it goes.

    Oubliette

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