If They Stopped Shunning Tomorrow?

by cofty 70 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • cofty

    Yeah but it's a hypothetical question.

    IF they changed their policy and IF your family wanted to be your friend again how would you react?

  • Vidiot

    cofty - "If They Stopped Shunning Tomorrow"...

    ...hundreds of thousands of soft-core JWs would walk the day after tomorrow.

    The WTS would never truly recover; there's a reason every authoritarian regime fears a mass exodus.

  • Heaven

    IF they changed their policy and IF your family wanted to be your friend again how would you react?

    I would be cautiously optimistic. In reality, my life is very, very busy without them. I have more than enough family and friends I am in contact with regularly that, luckily, not having the JW family in my life (with the exception of my parents) hasn't affected me much, if at all.

    The JWs is my family are on my Mom's side. They have next to nothing to do with me except when necessary family business forces them to. They are overall nice people but are mislead.

    My parents became mean-spirited, self-righteous, holier-than-thou a-holes with us kids in their zealous days (this was during the 1990s). They did not shun us outright but they did withdraw somewhat during that period. Luckily, none of us kids ever got baptized.

    The JW belief that they are "God's Chosen'', which elevates them above everyone else, would probably surface repeatedly with my other JW family members as it used to with my parents. I would not be able to tolerate that.


    In my case, it would be about my DF'd family forgiving me for shunning them. When I learned TTATT, I immediately began to reach out to my DF'd family member.

    Sadly, things fizzled out. I know from speaking to this family member that they don't fault me, becuase I was just a sheeple. Even so, this family member has a family of their own, ones that I have zero relationship with.

    I can understand how my DF'd family wouldn't want me waltzing into their lives right now, especially if I'm still "in." Sadly, I could actually be a very destructive influence in their family. I'm basically a stranger to some of them. It may be better that it stays that way.

    Also, just because you came from the same womb, it doesn't mean your "family." Family are people who love YOU, not a cultish persona that you must wear to be accepted and EARN their love.

    The WTBTS should be destroyed, not only for the current lives it has ruined, but for the possibilities it murdered.


  • Ucantnome

    How would you respond to your family?

    Forgive and forget.

  • Phizzy

    I only want people as friends/family who are prepared to be normal and treat me as normal people do.

    They would need to listen with respect to my views, as I do theirs, but my expressing mine may well expose the silliness of theirs.

    If certain subjects are "off limits" then such conditions would mean I do not want them in my life, any more than they are at present.

    An interesting hypothesis Cofty, but we all know the WT/JW cult will never relinquish the control that shunning gives them, to do so would soon leave them with just a hard core of old timers, too poor to contribute.

  • snugglebunny

    In the late 70's, the WT brought out an article that considerably softened their stance on disfellowshipping. My parents duly softened their stance towards me, and, as Cofty suggested, I treated them as though they were an auntie and uncle, except that they knew that I regarded them as being slightly potty. However, I still totally shunned other JW's. After all, I reasoned that I was due for an apology!

    A couple of years down the line, the WT re-affirmed their previous hard line, but this time my parents didn't go along with it, doubtless because they knew I would quote the soft WT article back to them. They wouldn't have wanted that!

    Later, when my father died, my DF'd brother and my DF'd self took care of momma's financial arrangements and we would call in to se her on frequent occasions. She struggled sometimes when JW's were present on our visits, but as my bro firmly told her, they were her rules that were causing the problem, not ours.

  • cantleave

    I have given myself some time to ponder on this question. The answer.....

    I don't think I could ever have a close relationship with an active, true believing witness, or rather they wouldn't want one with me as I question everything and ridicule silly ideas - they wouldn't like that!!

  • cofty

    Just want to say thanks for all your thoughts. I think there is no right and wrong answers to this.

    Everybody's circumstances are different. It's interesting to see that many others feel similarly that they would not allow relatives to behave as if they were doing us a favour by talking to us again.

    I would not go out my way to attack their faith but neither would I try to hide the fact that I think their beliefs are a delusion.

  • wisdomfrombelow
    I would probably reach out and talk to some people I've known a long time. Some people I only speak with secretly I could speak with and visit openly. There are some people that might reach out and want to talk to me but there are definitely some I couldn't care less about. I see no reason to be purposefully rude but I also see no reason to be overly kind either.

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