Argument with my Child "Why did I stay in the Organization so long?" Anger and Bitter Feelings.

by RottenRiley 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • RottenRiley
    RottenRiley

    Last night my third oldest child wanted to know why we stayed in the Organization so long. Child is a third year College student enjoying all the classes this "Wicked System" has to offer, the insatiable appetite for learning makes him want to argue and debate, I don't have the energy to debate because I don't feel good with all Life has thrown our way.

    "The only reason I went to Meetings so long was because Grandma and Grandpa needed somebody to take them to Meetings and COBE Aunt and Uncle and Secretary Aunt and Uncle refused to talk to Grandma for years, otherwise I would have stopped attending the Kingdom Hall because the kids were assholes and I was always the one who had to make "first contact", "I was the one who had to go around and Meet and Greet Newbies while the regular JW Wall-Flowers (Calebs) ignored all the visitors and new persons visiting our Kingdom Hall." The kids, tweens and teenagers are not the most socially competent in the Watchtower Organization, I can attest from my own childhood very few JW Kids did the "Meet and Greet", if kids mimic their parents, it's the parents fault with this problem?

    I know my child is angry at the gross lack of love, the hatred all my kids have witnessed by his Aunts and Uncles demonstrate this is not Christian! How doI go about explaining i was truly tricked by the Cult. How would you explain the Cult had us throughly tricked? My child has developed immense hatred towards the religion because nobody gave a dam the day they walked out of the Kingdom Hall and enrolled in College. It's been four years since their last Meet, I am not sure if my child is Agnostic or Christian, even the youngest child can't accept all the teachings Grandma talks about, he told Granda "I am not going to sit in a grave, if I die I will be in the arms of Jesus Christ" and Grandma said "Who told you that?" Child #4 said "The Bible said so!" Grandma pushed again until #4 said "My Dad showed me in the Bible in 1 Thess", where does it say we will be with Jesus on the Earth?"

    Grandma is so kind, I think #3's rant and rave is based upon Auntie and Uncle living off Grandma after filing Bankruptcy, destroying their car and ripping us off for $10,000. How can I explain to my child that we were truly tricked, it's up to my child to decide and I fear all the wickedness from his Aunts and Uncles are going to turn em in to a Deist or Agnostic.

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Just say SORRY. Repeat as often as needed. People usually forgive.

  • Skinnedsheep
    Skinnedsheep

    Be honest and tell him you were a sucker. Say it is a regret.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Along with a sorry, maybe give your child Steve Hassan's latest book.

  • 4thgen
    4thgen

    Do you feel dissappointed? Duped? Betrayed ? Maybe angry? Get on tbe same wavelength. You are not the enemy....getting a common ground may work

  • WhoYourDaddy
    WhoYourDaddy

    >> How doI go about explaining i was truly tricked by the Cult. <<

    You just did.

    It's the past man. Don't beat yourself up over it.

    Live your life by example. Make it up to them in how you live your life. Express your joy, your pain, all those things that make us human....

  • ruderedhead
    ruderedhead

    Tell them what you have written here. That you were thoroughly fooled, but we simply can't change the past. But now it is time to move forward, live your best lives.

    I don't know your story, but have you found a church that you all feel comfortable going to? It can take a while to find one after being in the jw's, but there are many good churches with good paople in them.

  • humbled
    humbled

    I don't know how long you were in, but they invited me to to the free home bible study--

    I was carefully brought along and the little rural congregation that "courted" me were loving. I didn't see the hand-writing on the wall for a long, long time.

    I too, have apologized from the bottom of my heart to my family. Seven (7!)children and my husband for 22 years of it.

    Your kids have a chance to be free and make a life. You have had a lot of adult years blighted.

    Just tell them your belief in god and the Bible made you suceptable. At least it did me.

    All the best...My kids have forgiven me.

    Maeve

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    A lot of us have to deal with bitter grown up kids. After you've apologized several times, enough is enough.

  • RottenRiley
    RottenRiley

    The majority of anger is because we did not promote school sports, this child got out at the age of 16.5 years old, many of our dear friends on JWN would be pleased they left at such a tender age. My child voted when he turned 18 years old, signed up for jury duty and wanted to join the National Guard, I don't understand why he is so angry when he was out at 16.5 years old?

    Now on his 21st Birthday, he is regretting we had this Cult infect our brain (He wants Christmas, Easter, ect.),he is now trying to work on my two older children hoping to get them out of the Cult. He said he is sure that number 2 is almost out but number 1 still has the Pollyanna world-view even though the Elders have been making him jump through hoops, they are grooming number 1 and 2 for Elderhood, I pray they don't become Elders because I am close to writing my letter to get out of this Cult. The only reason we did not write letters was fear of making my Mom and Dad sick to their hearts but i think they checked out of this religion decades ago, they don't go to meetings, they don't go out in Field Service and they don't talk about the Bible. I had to correct number 4 today, he was mentioning how "things will be so great in the New System" and i nicely changed the topic.

    I think I need to expand my social network and have ex-JWs and Apostates over for dinner, this might show my son I am serious about getting rid of all vestiges of the Lie from my life! You know, you all could charge for your wisdom, some shrinks with a tenth of your knowledge get paid to talk to stressed people! The kindness of JWN is awesome, when was the last time you could talk with former members of the group who really understand what you are going through?

    My last visit with a JW Friends was sitting in a corner booth as he texted his wife the entire time we had dinner, I was mad as hell and felt so disrespected, why did he invite me out for dinner if he was going to show off his Blackberry and text the entire time? These are qualities i am trying to explain my son does not have to tolerate, he can tell this kind of person to "Kiss my ass!" and walk out with a free and clear conscience!

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