Feeling alone...

by bohm 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa

    Hello bohms girlfriend,

    I read your post and I am so sorry your family has turned on you and that you are feeling so alone. I am so sorry. There are many people here who know how you feel losing your family. It's like a death...or even worse, several deaths. It is very, very difficult.

    I've been reading this board for a long, long time and I have seen it again and again: People going through the pain of losing their families...and then, eventually, the acceptance, and along the way the building of new lives with new friends and families. It really does happen!

    These people will tell you that after some time things do get better. There are hundreds of people here who are living proof of this!

    Yes, it takes time to feel better, and yes, there are ups and downs. But you WILL feel better and you will find supportive people to be there for you.

    Stay strong, take care of yourself (go to the psychologist or psychiatrist if needed), and never give up.

    Stay busy building your life, and living your life!

    YOU CAN DO THIS

    Sending love and encouragment

    -Lisa

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Hello, sorry you feel so alone right now. It is hard to lose family, there is no getting around that. But you can develop other loving relationships, it just takes time and effort. I would take up your doctor's offer of psychological help, what have you got to lose? It can be very helpful, I have done it, as well as many here I am sure. They can help you deal with your loss, because in many ways it is like losing someone in death, you have to go through the grieving process.

    A good therapist can help you identify your needs and give you ideas for developing the kind of loving connections you crave. It can be done, so hang in there and keep trying.

    Lisa

  • PelicanBeach
    PelicanBeach

    Bohm's girlfriend,

    You've been given excellent advice on this thread and I hope you are able to take advantage of some of the suggestions made. I will share what my experience has been in my own family. After leaving the JWs, and being shunned for it, several of my relatives found a non-judgmental church where they have since made friends and are included in the various church activities. On the other hand, I have a cousin who chose to go back to the JWs get reinstated and get back his family. Another has been able to make friends at work and volunteers for various local organizations making quite a few friends that way as well.

    So you see, you have many options and roads to try. I hope you feel better soon, none of us should feel alone for too long...keep posting here there are many good people on this site who have traveled your road.

    Pelican

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    BG-My best hopes for you. THis is such a hard thing to deal with. It is important to build a life for yourself . Get your education, grow up, marry, have children be happy. Don't let what you lost get you down because what you can gain is so much better. Don't look back,look forward, build friendships that last, choose close friends carefully but don't close yourself to life because of what you "lost". Build your life with people who will not base their affection for you bsed on whether you share all their same ideoogies and/or delusions. Be yourself aand find out who that person is.

    You are beautiful in every way that matters, you are young The skies are wide open and blue. Love life but deal with the depression.

    I have the worst case of hiccups ever and am struggling to be upbeat right now!! But I know that they, too, shall pass!

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    I just want to send you a hug x

    Paula x

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    My doctor is willing to pay for a psycology but i dont know if that would really help me?!

    It will help!Take it. Do it. Work on your worth as a person. Work on letting go of irrational fear and anxiety that gets drilled into your head as a JW. That fear response will surface in your life all the time and it will feel like depression. I have had a few years of counseling for anxiety and I hardly ever feel depressed anymore. The only time it feels that way is if something is making me feel insecure or scaring me.

    Here are some suggestions: take a night class in something you enjoy. Meet people who enjoy the same thing you do that way. Volunteer work. You can get yourself out and around people in positive ways. The loss of family does grow more distant and less in your face. Meanwhile, build new relationships. I have people who are like sisters to me, mothers to me, etc. I won't say it never hurts that my only sister and youngest brother will not speak to me even if there is a death in their end of the family, but it's rare now. I've had years for other people and things to fill my life.

  • Miss.Fit
    Miss.Fit

    Just checking to see how you are. Remember you are not alone.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    If you have been given medical advice to get therapy, I'd suggest accepting it.

    Part of what you're going through is a life stage relevant to your age and changes that go along with it.

    Happiness is totally possible outside the org. In fact I believe you can be much happier than anyone in.

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