HELP - A Guide to Fade

by cognitivedizzy 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • cognitivedizzy

    Hey everybody, been here lurking for years now... I tired of all the GB 2.0 shit and need to Fade successfully
    Do we have a guide, I am very tempted to go out with a bang, But I want my wife with me, she aint a strong witness and would happily trust me ... I love her a lot

    Status as of now,,, read CoC isocf, been through JW facts and am convinced this religion is BS, also a MS now :( damn

  • Driving Force
    Driving Force

    When I decided to leave/fade I was also an MS. For me the first thing was giving up this position, I made the mistake of giving a reason why I no longer wanted to be an MS.

    If you decided to resign your position as an MS, give them no reason as to why you have done that. If the elders insist on speaking to you about it, refuse.

    Just grab two elders as one of the meetings start, and clearly state you no longer want to be an MS, it does not have to be written. That is how I did it, but unfortunately I gave a reason why, and they came back to me and wanted to talk about the reason, I then refused.

  • TheListener

    Wow. Welcome to the forum cognitivedizzy. Fading from elder or ms is harder but still possible. Read some of the threads on here from other successful faders.

    My advice, get your wife to go with you and start to get phrases memorized like 'We are getting so stressed and down about this system (or work, family, whatever) that making the meetings is hard, but we are really trying' 'thank you brothers for your concern'.

    If you want to step aside you will probably have to serve for awhile with limited duties due to your 'stress and depression'.

    Fading can take awhile.

  • cognitivedizzy

    Thanks for the advise guys, but frankly I come from a very high control congregation, there is absolutely no elder here with a heart, all made up rules and especially extra rules made up by them that even the society would find ridiculous. been in this cong for over a decade and finding out TTATT has made me sick to the stomach...

  • freemindfade
    First things first don't panic. Read experiences on here and advice. And take your time. You have time to do it right.
  • cognitivedizzy
    Yes I certainly have time.. im just not sure how to go about without overhauling my entire life
  • freemindfade
    Do a little research on kaizen theory. Great way to approach big change through small steps. It's often used in business, but it's works in life too. If you focus on the big overhaul it's goning to give you an anxiety attack. Maybe for now forget all the rest and concentrate on getting out of the MS thing in a quiet safe way that won't cause you to trigger and unload ttatt on the elders or wife. Then when that's settled move to another small step.
  • _Morpheus

    If you want to go out with a bang, that is is course your right and your choice... But "going out with a bang" and "fading" are two mutually exclusive things.

    Which do you want?

    going out with a bang is self explanitory. You will end up DF'd but its on your terms. If you dont have family who will shun you then who cares :)

    however if you need to or want to fade then the number one key is: patience. Absolute zen inner peace patience. Dont give into feelings of anxiety or a desire to run around screaming. You have the power. You are now in control because you know the real deal. Bide your time and be smart.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Resign immediately as an M.S. - no more pressure of dealing with "assignments" and promoting lies from the platform.

    State categorically to the Elders that it is for "personal reasons", and point-blank refuse to discuss your "personal" reasons! I did it, & and it ticks them off!! :)

    Begin your fade by quitting the Ministry School, reducing/eliminating ministry time & meeting attendance, and just refuse to attend assemblies & the convention! Anyone asks for an explanation, "We have private & personal issues to deal with, but we take them in prayer to Jehovah."

    Going out with a bang eliminates all of the above!

    Best wishes on your choice.

  • cognitivedizzy
    Wow thanks a lot guys, thanks for the good advice, let me be patient, if I can win my wife , that's all I care, I don't mind us both going with a BANG....but if she is stuck in, then fade is the way to go ..I really love her and just cant afford to lose here

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