Why can't I date him?

pad

I have recently met a wonderful man. He is a JW, and has been all 25 years of his life. I am not, and have not even known any all of my life. We have been on a few dates, truly enjoy each others company, but he says that he cannot see me romantically. Even though he is falling for me. (same goes for me :-) ) He also says that he would like to be my friend, but technically he shouldn't. Help me understand this. WHY?? I thought we were all created equal in God's eyes. I respect his wishes for abstaining from premarital sex, and although I do not understand most of his beliefs, I respect them and would not try to change them. So if 2 people meet, hit it off wonderfully, have a great possibility of a wonderful future together, why is it to be denied? A little help please.

Elsewhere

Welcome to the screwed up world of JWs.

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

pad

quote:
"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.

What does this mean? Mistakes in his bible or mine?

Elsewhere...are you a JW?

Gopher

Sorry PAD,

If he's a serious JW, then he is made to believe that all non-JW's are very close to extermination at God's hand at the war of Armageddon. Any association with "outsiders" could prove dangerous, in a spiritual sense, according to what JW's are taught.

Long story short, he'll have to choose between you and his religion. Your only chance is maybe he's not very "strong" in what they call "the truth", but from the sounds of his responses to you, it sounds like he is thoroughly indoctrinated!

Don't worry, it isn't about you! He's worried about the salvation that this group promises him. They're wrapped up in preaching that the end of this system is near.

If this doesn't clear everything up, feel free to post more detailed questions!! We're here to help!

pad

Here's another question...If he does choose me, why would he be dis-owned by his family and friends? Shouldn't they want happiness for him?

Elsewhere

Pad... thats just my tag line. It's on all of my posts...

Here is the dilemma that your friend has:

JWs teach that anyone who is not a JW is "worldly".
Worldly people are "bad association".

Therefore you, being "worldly", are "bad association".

If he is caught hanging around you for reasons other than work or preaching, then he will be approached by the elders and warned about "bad association". If he does not stop seeing you, he will be branded as also being "bad association" and the people in the congregations will start to avoid him. His family will in turn be branded with a bad reputation.

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

Gopher

Pad,

That is a decision for his family and friends to make. You're only officially disowned when, as a JW, you formally disassociate yourself or the congregation takes disfellowshipping action against you.

HOWEVER, there is informal shunning against those who are viewed as weak. That could possibly happen, it depends on the people involved.

Should they want happiness for him? Why of course!! But the JW's love is very narrow in scope, as you may soon find out.

Preston

why is it to be denied?

I'm sorry but the God factor will always figure in higher than anything else in a JW's life. You just can't win when a guy's major turn ons are field service, making all the meetings, and getting over ten hours in the ministrey at the end of the month. Not to sound mean, but, you might have better luck finding a doubting Thomas....

borgfree

Hi Pad,

I hate to give you any false hope, but, I will say, there are JWs leaving the organization every day. It is very hard to get through to them, (I should know, it took me 54 years)but if he cares for you enough, there could be some (small) hope.

Keep reading here on this forum and you may get some good ideas.

Borgfree

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." -Ziggy

yrs2long

Hi Pad and welcome!

This is only the beginning. The bottom line is, to stay in this man's life, you will need to convert. I've seen this same scenario played out many times and you will either need to convert or keep your relationship secret or kiss the idea goodbye altogether. Here are some links to others in similar situations to your own (just click on the links)

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=16059&site=3

and

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=18884&site=3

Take care,

yrs2long

Why can't I date him?

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