It was 11 days after I received the email from my sister, informing me that she is no longer going to communicate with me.
I was never a JW, so I don't fully comprehend this decision, nor do I understand the games JW's play.
I talked to my mom yesterday, and she (baptized within last year) is getting more and more fed up with the nonsense. She has been trying to get everyone to come together, and she is seeing more and more extreme behavior from my sister and her husband. My mom is blaming my brother in law, but my sister has clearly spoken up and said she is speaking for herself also. She is "protecting her children" from me. Or, I think it is just me... Still confused about how this game works.
The "good" news out of all this, is that my sister's decision to "no longer communicate" with me, is just another straw on the camel's back, as far as my mother is concerned. Before she ever got involved with the JW's, she made a statement about how they "divide families." It has officially happened now.
While talking to my mother, I did my best to explain to her that I have no problem with my sister or her decision to be a JW. I have loved her since she was born, and will continue to love her and be kind. I told my mom, "Sometimes you can boil things down to 2 choices: be kind, or be unkind. I will be kind, no matter how I am treated by her." I have been jumping through hoops, trying to make peace in this family, especially over the last year. No matter what I do, makes it worse. (paraphrasing what I told my mom). My mom said, "I agree with YOU! Somebody is being too hardheaded here." She is blaming my brother in law, of course.
I saw him recently, when we were both visiting my mom in the hospital. He avoided eye contact and would not speak to me. He did, however, speak to my children, and acted as if they were going to interact with him. He seemed surprised, when they were intimidated by him. Whenever I spoke to him, he looked at the floor, and like he wanted to jump right out of his skin. My niece (12) kept looking at me and smiling at me. It was 2 days later, when my sister informed me she was no longer communicating with me (I did not see my sister at the hospital, it was just my brother in law and niece).
So anyway, like I said before. I can take rejection. I forgive my sister's abnormal behavior. I know it's not actually HER, not her natural self, the one who has known me since her birth. I have never been anything but kind to her. My mom and my dad both can see this. My mom is pointing it out.
This "new" development, along with other comments recently made by my sister (about not being willing to even consider coming to the family homemade trade party), have caused my mom to get upset enough to actually question the JW's out loud to my father. "I told Dad... You know, it's things like THIS, that make you look at the Jehovah's Witnesses and think, I don't want anything to do with it!" She was in tears, talking to me about how hard it was when her children were divided. (I learned my peacemaking from her).
I feel pretty good about the conversation, which was actually a nice 40 minutes on the phone, with that little 10 minute drama about my sister, mixed in between other real life issues. I feel like I am starting to be reconnecting with my mom again, which is awesome. She's been like my best friend my whole life, until her recent immersion in the Watchtower bathtub.
I know she can easily slip right back into blowing bubbles... but it sure was nice to talk to my mom again, and to hear her say that she thought my sister was making the wrong decision. We might be going on a special diet together, so this will hopefully lead to even more communication between us.