Hello all, It is nice to have a forum for former JW's and see I wasn't the only one out there having serious doubts. My parents got into it when I was about 4 years old. My family was part of the Granville NY congregation.
My dad in time became an Elder. At age 13 I was strongly encouraged to be baptised which I did to please my parents but didn't feel I was ready for it. I began to see many things that were not right with all of it. I was groomed to be a MS at an early age but before I was appointed I decided I wanted to grow a moustache. My Dad came to me and said " What's that on your lip? You are going to have to shave that off if you want to be a MS." I thought to myself.."HUH?" There was nothing stating I couldn't sport a stach that I remember, but a certain elder said he didn't like it and it had to go. I thought to myself "Well who makes the rules here anyway?" Well I found out over the years and going to several congregations that the GB puts out the basic rules but the power hungry elders make up stuff as they go to mould the flock into what they want to see.
Twice I married in "The Truth" and both times got burned. Both women being in for a while knew exactly what to act like to catch a brother. All was fine until I married them. The first one was a cheater and enjoyed the company of many men so to speak so I was able to exit in good standing through scriptual grounds. The second one had some serieous mental problems that she hid very well during the courtship. I soon thereafter discovered she was an alcoholic and prescription drug abuser. She had all sorts of painkillers and washed them down with about 18 beers nightly, and it had to be Budweiser in the bottle not the cheap stuff. All that and the verbal abuse put me on the verge of insanity for a while till I left. Since she wasn't a fornicator I had no scriptual grounds for that divorce.
Since I had "fallen away" a few years before the divorce I didn't have to be DF'ed. I am very pleased to say I married out of "the truth" to some one I am very happy with and will never look back. The JW's think that if you marry a brother or sister, everything will be just peachy. I can tell you it is just not so in many cases. I feel if I had not been involved with the JW's I likely would not have had to go through two divorces. One of my sisters married a JW and he turned out to be a cheater and a pedophile. Another sister of mine married JW's twice and both were drunks and abusive.
Now my family is all broke apart and living all over the US. Two of my sisters are still in as are both of my parents. I just wish everyone would just open thier eyes up and see how wrong it all is so they could live normal lives instead of dedicating thier lives to a futile cause. Words can't express how much happier I am being away from such bondage. I was so tired of all the hipocrites looking down thier noses at people they don't feel are good enough, didn't go to enough meetings, not enough field service and did't make enough comments during watchtower study or book study. I also grew tired of hearing that I would die if I didn't do all the afore mentioned things as prescribed.
It has been a long road to healing but the best choice I ever made in my life was to leave the JW's. It feels good to vent a little and share my experiences with others who have been in my shoes.