People, I'm still living in fear.

by Julia Orwell 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Residuals of the mind control. And affects us physically. My husband and I just sent our dis-a letter after being out a long time, because we want to be able to speak out about the rotten pedophile-protecting cult. As Martin Merriman from Ireland said when he was interviewed, we didn't want people we knew to hear we were disf and think we had done wrong (other than being in that mess to begin with) and were not repentant. Pre-emptive strike!

    "To Whom It May Concern: This is for notification that ------ and Marina ----- are disassociated from the Jehovah's Witness organization."

    Poof!

    Marina

  • Suraj Khan
    Suraj Khan

    Julia,

    I completely understand where you're coming from. Especially the fear.

    Your body and mind are generating an immense amount of stress cross-checking every single action to conform to the Org. Habit is a strong force, so that constant self-surveillance becomes a sort of framework in your mind. Pulling down that framework - even one rotten plank of it - brings a fear that the whole structure will come tumbling down (hence the plainitive "Where else will we go?*")

    Here's the brilliant thing: Your mind didn't need that framework to begin with. That framework was raised around a perfectly functioning, freestanding, beautiful head. And after the initial shock wears off, you'll find leaving those rotten planks behind will leave you carrying around a lot less weight.

    The fear is natural. It will pass. Remember to breathe. We are with you.

    __

    *Which, as has been pointed out by others, isn't even the actual frigging verse, but it makes even more sense misquoted - the cult is a location of the mind not a belonging to the Lord

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Sure, kate, big old bullfrog in a little pond. But let's make it as bureaucratic and stupid as possible. Drive out the good ones to get on with their real lives. Wake up the Ministerial Servants before they get sucked in, those lovely twentysomething young men eager to do something better with their lives. Let the pompous old goats hang on to the time slips, alone, weary. Let the good old goats retire with dignity. Let the whole organization collapse on its own petard from the weight of its own self-importance.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    I'm sure it will jgnat. Eventually it will dwindle. Its heyday is over.

    I'm really appreciative of the support here, especially from ppl like Katewild and others who've been able to make that break. I only wish the da announcement wasn't the same as the df announcement,but I shouldn't even care what the cong thinks of me but for some strange reason I do, even though they already think the worst of me...makes no friggin sense.

  • Bob_NC
    Bob_NC

    jgnat, you be terrible. Absolutely terrible. "I want the elders chasing..."

    Hahaha! And you were never a Witness! hahahahaha!!

  • Bob_NC
    Bob_NC

    Julia. What if your old high school Principal came by your house with a veiled threat of dismissing you from the school? What would you say to him/her? Why would you care? Maybe you would snicker and say "I graduated your high school years ago. Do what you please about my status. I doubt I will be coming back."

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    Many jehovahs witnesses leave the religion , though the religion never leaves them .

    Do you want to remain a captive of a concept all your life ?

    Or do you want to break the shackles that bind you .

    The choice is yours.

    smiddy

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    I want out!! To hell with them. I love and respect so many who are trapped in there, and I figured out this is what makes it hard just to rip that bandaid right off.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Don't let yourself be trapped any longer by fear Julia, and by fear of what others (who are trapped) think. Keep your love and respect for YOURSELF at the forefront so that the fear loses it's power.

    Loz x

  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    Just ignore the wombles and they'll likely just go away.

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