my life is a mess need some advice (page 2)

Poindexter Lionel Humperdique

Keep your head up. Back in the day, a good friend of mine had no where to live since his parents kicked him out, so he moved into a shelter. He found a minimum wage job. showed up to work on time and worked hard. He saved his money and took care of his health. After about 6 months, he was promoted at his minimum wage job, and was able to rent a studio for himself. You can do it. Think positive and work hard. The therapy will be very helpful too. Take care.

dm6

Deserving one, chin up mate i know exactly how you feel, i have just come out of a similar situation, i was also too living in a homeless shelter so i totally know and understand your situation right now. Although it may not seem like it at the time, the only way is up!!

Once you have saved up enough money from your job, you will be out of the homeless shelter your living in and be free in your own place once again! :D

let it be a lesson to you that partying hard just for a few days can easily totally destroy your life, anyone can easily do that at anytime! Remember its always easier to get into things than out of!!!

LisaRose

Tough love here, you are gay, so you need to accept it, and stop punishing yourself. A religion will never keep you from being gay, no matter which one it is. You need therapy to help you to stop hating yourself for being gay, then you will not need to punish yourself by taking drugs.

I am sorry your mom died and your dad is a JW, that is rough. But know that you are a worthwhile human being, you just got dealt a bad hand. You need help getting out of this hole, so believe you deserve that help and don't give up until you get it. Most places you can get therapy on a sliding scale, depending on your income. Even if it is expensive, it's worth it, you are worth it. Work hard at therapy and make it count. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, so get on with it, you could have a great one.

Lisa

deservingone26

thanks you guys! Thanks for sharing your experiences and encouraging advice. I know counseling will be the best thing for me i dont know if i could ever accept being gay tho i just feel like there should be some way i can get over those feelings and live a "normal" life. one with a wife and kids or at least my own kids. no adopted. In an ideal world i would be attracted to women and be able to have a normal relationship but atthe same time maybe i could be happy with a guy but all it ever seems to be is hooking up which after its all done i just feel empty. i just want more with my life. i want happinsss. i guess this is just how life is...maybe everyone has these same feelings but im not sure because this is all ive known always just searching...

deservingone26

i will work hard at my job tho and save to move into my own place. I do love it here in San Diego!

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

If my math is correct, you're about 26. If you're interested in "higher education" you're old enough to qualify for Pell grants and loans without considering your parents finances. Such was the case with me (being much older than 20s). And at the university I received free counselling.

Regardless of whether you're interested in more education, you need to look inside and learn about YOU. Forget the mind-control of the JWs and Mormons, what do you want out of life? What do you want your life to be like in 20 years? You don't really need to have it all figured out, just have some idea of the path and see what develops along the way... at least that's the way I've been doing it.

deservingone26

Thanks! and yes i am 26! I really want to go back to school. I know its not gonna be all figured out in one night but thank you all for your posts. They have eased ny mind and i feel much better.

Jewel

I think you're confusing uncommitted sex with gay sex. Maybe the "hookups" leave you feeling guilty and empty because they aren't the result of a loving relationship. Sex without emotion can make people feel empty or guilty whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. Focus on stabilizing your life. Make sure you are reliable at work. Find the closest community college and make an appointment with the Financial Aid office. If you're in a shelter, someone there can help you find resources (also, the links others have given you).

Avoid hookups if they make you feel bad, but be open to caring relationships. There are many, many gay people who have wonderful, happy families. The problem isn't your sexual orientation, but the way you've been taught to feel about your sexual orientation.

gorgia2

deservingone26,

It's all in the name: deservingone. Yes, you are, but not for feelings of guilt. You deserve a happy life. All the advice so far has been heart-felt. Please consider what the other posters have written and know we all care for you. Being brought up as a JW confuses and disjoints. Being yourself is impossible until you leave, and then you have to work out who that hidden self is!

gorgia

Fernando

Since quitting religion in favour of faith and spirituality based on the "unabridged gospel" I no longer feel compelled to judge or change gays, but rather to love them just like Jesus does - as they are.

Moralism is apostasy - just like legalism.

You need to get free of moralism and the guilt it induces.

A good counsellor or Psychologist, possibly who is gay, and maybe also a non-religious believer, could be a great help.

Once you are in a better place you may want to read an alternate scriptural perspective on fulfilling same sex relationships:

http://biblehouseofgrace.com/same%20sex%20relationships.html

In the meantime please forget religion - go find yourself, go find happiness, go find love, go find commitment, go find healing, go find friends, go find a great supportive partner...

my life is a mess need some advice

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