he refused a transfusion... and died

by sister x 22 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  sister x

  Growing up my mom told me that my father passed away from a heart attack in 1989 and I always believed her. A few yrs ago I went snooping in her closet and found my fathers medical records. I took them without her knowing and read them when I got home.

  I have worked in hospitals all my life and I am an RN, Im use to reviewing records. When I saw that she refused a blood transfusion it sparked my interests. I reviewed his labs and all the MD notes and learned that if she would of given him a blood transfusion he would of lived.............

  Now I know why my mother is so angry with herself, why so bitter all these years and never remarried. I would have attached the actual notes from his medical history to show you what I found, but I dont know how to paste them on here. He was a babtized witness for 7 yrs and my mother is still one ( 30 yrs ).....

  I hate the WT...

  I feel alot better getting this out and telling someone, been holding it in for a couple years now...
• 

  Etude

  Wow sister x! That's a hard thing to discover. If your mother is still a Witness, it seems to me she has chosen her path and her punishment. Being a Witness is piling insult on the injury of refusing blood for your father. I don't know the actual circumstances but it seems, according to you, that it was her decision to not give him blood. Well, you know how that goes. Either way, it would have been a life changing decision. Do you know how your father would have reacted if he'd lived and felt he violated some law of God? Would he have been angry? It's quite possible he would have been grateful. It's also possible that by giving him blood and suffering the consequences that would follow, your mom might have been happy along with her living husband.

  I don't know. I'm looking at this from many angles. I hope you're mom makes a realization and can forgive herself, especially by leaving the JWs. You might try exposing her (in subtle ways) to the information about how hypocritical the WTBTS is about the blood issue. Use the "you can't have a ham and cheese sandwich" parallel with the "but you can have some ham or some cheese or some bread" argument.
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Sister X, I am so very sorry this happened to your dad. I am so sorry it happens to anyone.

  It is so sad.

  LoisLane
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  sister x

  Ive talked to her already... showed her old witness articles and studies from the scriptures books, old teachings that made absolutely no sense and she still will not listen. She told me that if "I" had questions I should study the bible. Making it about me and not her. She will not leave, all her lifelong friends are JW, her complete support system.

  I think if she would of given it to him, he would of lived, atleast 5 to 7 more years.... time taken from me. She trusted the WT with all her heart and felt she was doing the right thing at the time. My dad was a wholehearted witness too, I dont think he would of felt guilty though if his wife made a decision to keep him around longer... in other words, he wouldnt of beat himself up over it.
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  KateWild

  I think if she would of given it to him, he would of lived, atleast 5 to 7 more years-sister x

  Its so sad that your dad was taken from you when you could have had him. I have no opinion whether or not taking blood saves lives. I don't have enough knowledge to form an opinion, and I have not had any personal experience.

  Sister x, please can you explain, in non nurse terms if you can, how you know the transfusion would have saved his life, and how you know it would have only been for 5-7yrs, why not longer?

  Thank you for your story

  Kate xx
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  designs

  Sorry to hear this very tragic story. A Jim Jones like cult requiring total obedience.

  My father to died from lack of a blood transfusion.
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  sister x

  hello Designs, thanks for sharing....

  I say 5 or 7 years more because he already had two prior heart attacks... so he already had a heriditary heart condition he was dealing with. I was making my own rough gestimate.

  My mother told me that a heart attack is what took his life.... but after reviewing his medical records, there was no sudden heart attack, the tests showed there was no infection, no disease what so ever! the only trend i noticed was in his lab work (hemaglobin, hematocrit) his blood count was dropping by the day, everything else was normal..... then i noticed in the doctors notes that he kept asking my mom for consent for the blood transfusion. She refused over and over again. Then in one last note he states that he explained to the family that a blood transfusion was needed to save his life and that he would die without it and documented that the family understood the ramifications of the decision not to accept...

  Afterwards he went downhill.... into cardiac arrest. dried up like a prune in the hospital bed... If my mother ever gets sick the way my father did and I have to make the decision, im going to make sure she gets blood.
• 

  Diest

  I think my grandmother did not get an exchange transfusion for my aunt who RH positive and she was RH negative. My Aunt is mentally handicaped because of it. She never got married or lived on her own.

  Can you immagine taking someone who is born healthy and allowing them to become severely handicaped?
• 

  whathappened

  For those who think being a Jejovah's Witness isn't so bad...listen up!

  Sorry for you, dear.
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Has anyone been at the hospital when someone bleeds to death.

  If they died from a heart attack brought on by lack of sustaining fluids, (blood) they do not die quietly... and slip peacefully into the 'night'.

  The heart is a pump. When the pump runs low on fluids, it starts shutting down. Shutting down one's heart, hurts. Fill in the rest of the picture if you wish.

  I have been there. It is not pretty. It is not nice.

  It is horrible.

  I believe the WT/GB in a few more years will change its doctrines, again.

  They are allowing 'fractions' of blood, now.

  Just in case you do not know. I detest WT/GB = Nazi's. Nazi's are controlling and kill people. WT/GB same thing.

  LoisLane

  PS I do not mean to offend. JW's should know what happens to their loved ones if they need a transfusion, and they do not get one, and die from a heart attack.

  PSS My advice is to take the transfusion and live. Deal with the aftermath later.