Look, Up in the Air...It's a Bird, it's a Plane...No, It's a JW!!

by Cold Steel 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Comatose

    lol ! Garden of Eden in Missouri and black skin curses. lol

  • Etude

    "Book of Mormon is the product of a Middle East background"

    Seriously? Do you really want to go down that road? C'mon, get your act in order. You can say it, but you can't prove it. Mormonism is an original American religion. Every thing about it was manufactured here. You can say some of it happened on another planet but it won't make a difference.


    Since the Book of Mormon is the product of a Middle East background.....Cold Steel

    The most common theory accepted by adherents is that promoted by Joseph Smith, Jr., who said he translated the work from an ancient set of golden plates inscribed by prophets, which Smith discovered near his home in Palmyra, New Yorkin the 1820s after being told to go there by the angel Moroni.....From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    So the Book of Mormon is from the Middle East,in Palmyra New York USA?!..

    Note that the dark skin is never mentioned alone but always as attending a generally depraved way of life, which also is described as the direct result of the curse.

    The darker you are..The more depraved you are..

    The Garden of Eden was in Missouri

    According to Smith, the Garden of Eden was located in Jackson County, Missouri and following his expulsion from the Garden, Adam traveled northward to a place near modern-day Gallatin, Missouri

    Missouri (see pronunciations)—nicknamed The Show-Me State—is a U.S. state located in the Midwestern United States

    From OUTLAW`s re Written Mormon book:

    Eve said "Adam I`m Naaaakeeeedd!!".....Adam said "Show Me!!!!!!"..

    Thats how the Garden of Eden,in Missouri USA,became the Show-Me State!!..

    ................................. photo mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • garyneal

    It's cute when a Mormon insults the beliefs of JWs.

    About as cute as when I heard a talk in the kingdom hall from a brother describing the mormon beliefs and why they were false.



    I found Eve from the Garden of Eden in Missouri!..

    Calamity Jane was born May 1, 1852, as Martha Jane Cannary

    (or Canary) [ 3 ] in Princeton, within Mercer County, Missouri.

    After Eve shot the snake for telling her to eat the Apple..

    ..........God changed her name to Calamity Jane..


    ..........................................................  photo mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

  • rawe

    Hi Cold Steel,

    "So what was, or is, your take? Any chance people could graduate from being physical beings to being spiritual beings? What do the GP members say about Life After Armageddon?"

    As far as I can determine Latter-day Saint theology is fairly unbounded. As some have pointed out to me, many aspects of LDS theology was developed even after the Book of Mormon was published. However, both faiths are attempts at restoration of some imagined original form of Christianity. The progenitor of Jehovah's Witnesses was Charles Russell who focused on Bible study and largely saw himself and his followers as not that far apart of the rest of Christendom. Yet, key parts of his views were things like no hell fire, no immortal soul, etc. But it would be his views on end-of-days that would really inspire the group. In his day Egyptian Hieroglyphs were still a facinating, yet unknown language. Thus Russell co-mingled Bible study with Pyramidology. From the Bible Russell calculated that 2520 years of Daniel ran from 607 BCE[1] would end in 1914. But this was also supported by measurements from the Pyramids.

    Not too surpisingly, all Russell's predictions for 1914 failed. Lessor known among the Witnesses is the 607 BCE start date is a miscalculation as well.

    In what language did Joseph Smith claim the golden plates were written? Well the claim is Reformed Egyptian, thus you see deference to spooky Egyptian things. Smith went even further, claiming he was able to actually translate a real Egyptian Hieroglyphs, with the results he called the Book of Abraham.

    Your descriptions about possible musings of the Witnesses in the new world don't reflect much of the Witness mindset. The ideas, other than reflecting a garden of Eden restored, remain mostly vague and not commented upon that often. Your use of the word "graduate" sounds more Mormon-esq to me than Witness. Elevation of mankind to pefection is within the Witness mindset. But elevation to Godhood as per LDS theology, would be something the Witnesses would say only reflect the original lie of the serpent to Eve.

    Practical matters of how the new world would actual work are mostly left unconsidered. Most Witnesses assume how Bethel homes and branch offices are organized would probably be extended in the new system. Logical flaws in their outlook, such as lions being adapted as predators that would need yet further adaptation to "lie down with the lamb" are left to Jehovah to sort out. Likewise, original sin of Adam and Eve is the cause of death (Rom 5:12) to the Witnesses, yet the fact dogs die from the same biological causes as humans is just not considered.

    I hope this gives you some insight into their views. You of course, can comment with much more authority on LDS views -- I've only ever been in the Witness faith.



    [1] Witness publications prefer BCE, which is actually a more neutral designation. 607 BCE is the date modern Witnesses use as the start point based on their unfounded calculation of the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians. The actual historical date is 587 BCE. I believe Russell originally calculated 606 BCE, not knowing he should subtract one because there is no "zero" year. But another 1 year error cancelled out the problem. There are several other dates in this early era such as 1799, 1874, 1915, 1918 and 1925 said to have some prophetic significance.

  • jam

    cold steel; Continental drift 250 million years ago. So where there

    people in Missouri at that time? I'm confused, why would God move

    the Garden in the first place? Was it transported doing the flood? WTH

  • jgnat

    Jeffro, lol. Haven't thought it through, have they? Where's the oil wells, refineries, and pipelines - the infrastructure - to deliver the fuel? That will be a really short reconstruction effort.

  • Jeffro


    Haven't thought it through, have they? Where's the oil wells, refineries, and pipelines - the infrastructure - to deliver the fuel? That will be a really short reconstruction effort.

    Evidently™, these vehicles will be fuelled by Holy Spirit™. And if that fails (we know Jehovah™ needs a rest every now and then), they can still take turns pushing each other around in the wheelbarrows.


    Other Odd Mormon Beliefs:


    Dinosaur fossils are to test our faith, and likely came from matter left over from past destroyed planets

    that were used/recycled to create Earth..

    God is a resurrected, extra terrestrial, exalted human male who lives on a planet near a star called Kolob.

    See Book of Abraham, chapter 3 in Pearl of Great Price..

    The Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight, so all dates, sleepovers, or other activities by youth

    or single people need to end by midnight or else you won't have protection or guidance against the temptations of the devil

    There are people living on the moon. LINK They dress much like Quakers and they are tall, many standing seven feet tall or more. One day we will send missionaries to teach them the gospel.

    ............................................ photo mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

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