Look, Up in the Air...It's a Bird, it's a Plane...No, It's a JW!!

by Cold Steel 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Cold Steel
    Cold Steel

    For you ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses...and even you current ones...have you ever contemplated your future existence in Paradise Earth, should you be fortunate enough to end up there? During those raucous, fun moments at the Kingdom Hall when you were contemplating eternity and having the times of your lives...did you ever speculate about what life would be like? What you would be able to do?

    For example, would you have to walk everywhere or would you be able to fly around like Superman? Would you be able to streak into the ethereal heights, then plummet to the ground at breakneck speed only to swoop up at the last minute, sending earth and rocks into the air behind you? Or would you be able to have a portal in your home, where you could think of anywhere in the Universe and be able to visit it by simply stepping through?

    And for those who end up as part of the heavenly, anointed group, what did you see them being able to do? Would they be able to visit Paradise Earth, assume physical bodies and visit with those of the “great crowd”? And what will be their purpose, really? God already has angels and if Earth is really a Paradise, it’s not likely to need governing, laws, courts or, thank goodness, attorneys! Anyway, I’ll bet they’ll be able to hit some high speeds being spirits and all. If family members end up in both groups, I trust there will be some sort of social visits.

    So did any of these things come up? And how will houses and other structures be built in Paradise Earth? If people can levitate themselves and large, heavy objects like granite columns and such, it might be pretty cool. And instead of going snorkeling around corral reefs, think about how swift it would be to check out the Marianas Trench. While jet airliners usually fly up around the 3-mile high distance, the trench is a whopping 6.8 miles deep at Challenger Deep. But for resurrected beings, it ought to be a quick dip! (Just bring your flippers.)

    While being resurrected may provide for some adrenaline highs, that’s assuming we have adrenaline.

    So what was, or is, your take? Any chance people could graduate from being physical beings to being spiritual beings? What do the GP members say about Life After Armageddon?


  • cofty

    It's cute when a Mormon insults the beliefs of JWs.


    A temple garment (also referred to as garments, or Mormon underwear) [ 2 ] is a type of underwear worn by a vast majority of adherents of the Latter Day Saint movement, after they have taken part in the Endowment ceremony. Garments are worn both day and night and are required for any adult who previously participated in the Endowment ceremony to enter a temple. [ 3 ] The undergarments are viewed as a symbolic reminder of the covenants made in temple ceremonies and

    are seen as either a symbolic or Literal Source of Protection from the Evils of the World. [4]


    ................................  photo mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

  • steve2

    Brings to mind what Mark Twain famously said about the Book of Mormon: "Chloroform in print".

  • cofty

    Cold Steel believes he will be a god with his own planet to rule over one day.

    That is so much more rational than WT theology especially when you combine it with magic pants.


    Cold Steel believes he will be a god with his own planet to rule over one day.


    ..................................... photo mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • jonahstourguide

    no its not birds planes or jw's... its the Fifth Dimension in their Beautiful Balloon

  • braincleaned

    Never getting wasted just for fun...
    No flirting
    No masturbating
    No swearing
    No speeding (if cars at all)
    No birthdays, or any holiday to celebrate individual life
    Perfect meeting attendance
    No competition
    No extreme sports
    No action movies
    No smoking anything
    No getting high
    No Rock & Roll
    No sick days
    No porn
    No gays
    No fashion trends
    No philosophy and debating
    No questioning...
    ... we could go on...

    YOU CAN KEEP YOUR PARADISE!!!!!Just realized this post is by a Mormon!!! Hahaha! How frickin' ironic!

  • Cold Steel
    Cold Steel

    Hey, I’m just asking a good natured question! But, if you’d rather talk about Mormons, planets and underwear!

    Mormons do believe in theosis, as do the Greek Orthodox. As far as having one’s own planet? I think galaxy or universe would be more accurate. If this universe is just one of billions, then is it run by just one being we call “God”? What if God is a collective, as is the word “Elohim”? Or the word “family”? Or “quorum”?

    “Man has become as one of us,” God said in Genesis. What’s this “us” business? If Jesus is God, and the Father is God, and the Holy Spirit is God, then there are three Gods as part of the collective. Each is separate, distinct, capable of speaking to one another. As one early churchman said, “Cattle beget cattle, horses beget horses, and we call ourselves the ‘Children of God.’” So what does a God beget? Theosis or deification is not a new doctrine nor is it a unique Mormon doctrine. Neither the Greek Orthodox or the Mormons state we will have a planet.

    And how about our “magic underwear”? That’s not new, either. In ancient temple rites and practices, holy priesthood garments are commanded of God. (See Exodus 28 and this article, Sacred Vestments.) And our underwear have a rich tradition in religious history and theology.



    Hmmm. How do you suppose Joseph Smith knew about all this? He didn't get it from ancient sources, but through revelation.

  • braincleaned

    how about our “magic underwear”? That’s not new, either.

    Exactly! Point being all that you believe are old fantasies of our ignorant forefathers!
    You have some nerve laughing at JWs when you have a simailar delusion!... and follow a known prankster (to be kind)...

    One must ask what business you have being here at all. Trolling is okay in moronic mormonism?

Share this