Finally sending a letter to the elders today

by Suraj Khan 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wannaexit


    Your letter is very respectful and professional. I feel sick when I hear of shunning stories such as yours. Like Lois , I also am ashamed of all the shunning I did as a a pious jw . I shunned many people. Shame on me!!.

  • lisavegas420

    I've been wanting to send a letter like this for the same reasons. In my case it's been 25yrs.

    I heard I've been labled a" full-blown Apostate" and that I was trying to "take down the 'tower'".

    I was surprised, and a little flattered.

  • Suraj Khan
    Suraj Khan

    Wannaexit - There's no shame to doing something you were brainwashed to do. This cult gives a person enough guilt without heaping more on yourself. I hope you can forgive yourself for your unwitting acquiescence to the GB.

    Personally, I didn't actively shun (I was too young) but I remember being very afraid of apostates. Like boogeymen, or that green stuff in the back of my fridge. (Don't ask.) There's a reason they taught fear...nothing is so powerful as the truth.

  • Narcissistic Supply
    Narcissistic Supply

    F#ck em.

    I'm sure after that long you are much better off. Let sleeping dogs lay is my advice and thats worth exactly what you paid for it....

  • Suraj Khan
    Suraj Khan

    NS - I am better off. Much. But they're not.

    That's a problem.

    Yeah, it'd be very easy to just keep on keepin' on with my life and ignore the fact that I have a family trapped in a cult. In the same vein, I could just walk past a burning building.

    After 22 years of shunning, my mother and younger brother reached out to me in the last year without any prompting on my part and with little or no conditions set. They've welcomed me into their homes and broken bread with me. I don't know if that's a signal that they're doubting or that they simply don't much care to shun anymore, but family means something and I'll gladly forgive them for doing something they were brainwashed to do. If I start getting fed the party line again, then I'll know what to do. But for now, I like the idea of putting bitterness aside and giving peace a chance.

  • wannaexit

    Suraj: thanks for the kind words. It's hard to wrap my mind around the whole shunning business. I see it now for the cruel behaviour that it actually is.

    As to being afraid of apostates--yes I was too. Watchtower loves to villify innocent human beings whose only fault has been the ability to think for themselves.

    I remember as a child my father would say that the biggest apostate/enemy the watchtower ever had was Ray Franz, who had single handledly tried to take over the watchtower. Imagine that. I remember how fearful I was about that. Years later, when I had opportunities to correspond with Ray and speak to him personally, I realized what a slanderous thing this was.

    I believe that in the last couple of years there is a change in the hearts of many innocent sincere jw when it comes to the shunning practice. Deep down inside many know that this is very inhumane and they are "bucking the trend" and doing what is right just like your family is doing to you. I hope that you can enjoy some great times with them.

  • problemaddict

    Very interested in the reply.

  • Suraj Khan
    Suraj Khan

    Just an update: I haven't forgotten any of you, I just haven't received a reply yet. (And may never, for that matter).

    I feel like I ought to start an office pool on when a letter might come...

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