Did U find Sheperding Calls rude?

by Reborn2002 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • SixofNine

    True story. I had measles once, at memorial time, and my parents could really not figure out what to do. They simply couldn't imagine that it might be ok in a truly desperate circumstance, for me to miss the memorial.

    They wrapped me in saran wrap, put in (small) holes for me to breath out of, and off we went. You can imagine the ribbing I took about that for the rest of my witness career!

  • ronin1


    When I was single I only got a shepherding call if I asked for one
    or if the CO visit was near. It was always about increase your time.

    My husband and I have been married for 8 years now and we have only received shepherding calls when the Elders wanted to tell us what to do or think they should.

    I always set the conditions on our shepherding calls. The elders did not like it, but I did not care. If you come to my house to do a shepherding call, only elders I felt comfortable with could come. And I did not get dressed up in a dress or skirt. I dressed casually and wore my house slippers or sneakers. (As far as I was concerned, they were on my "turf", so therefore they were going to "do as the Romans do", or do not bother coming by.

    Also, if they could not prove anything from the Bible, I let them know do not talk to me.

    Very rarely did I ever have a good feeling when they came or left. They just talked a lot of Watchtower JW jargon.

    I had to set them straight with the Bible almost on each occasion. It's amazing how the elders do not know their Bible, just Watchtower
    magazines (mind controlled) jargon.

    They need to shepherd themselves.

    That's my story,

    Ronin 1

  • b_ster

    They came to where I was working once!! I worked at a computer store. I was in the back fixing computers and I had to come out front so they could _encourage_ me for ten minutes..

  • Bang

    Then they came over to tell us that our tall, skinny 16 year old son's suits were too loose. And the one said that the double breasted was not theocratic and the other one piped up to say he didn't like the ties either.

    Not having been a JW I find that hard to even imagine. I feel like ass-kicking them from here to Antartica.


  • LizardSnot

    No one ever gave me a sheparding call...sniff...sniff.
    Should I take that personally?


  • Prisca

    I remember when I was an active JW, they told me when they'd like to have a shepherding call with me, and arranged a mutually convenient time for it.

    Then when I became inactive, they just turned up when they felt like it, regardless of what I may have been doing.

    Very inconsiderate.

  • Sunspot

    "If they missed me so..why no phone calls or social activities prior to that? I see it now, but being a good little Dub is the condition to be accepted by anyone.--Elders can be very subtly condescending."

    Reborn, now THERE'S a novel in a nutshell!

    I had two "medical conditions" that were unrelated-but were both taking their toll on me despite ongoing tests, etc, I was really hurting. I had been in a wheelchair and on crutches-and was so tired ALL the time plus caring for an Autistic and ADHD youngster (who slept only 4-5 hours a night) and EITHER condition I was dealing with would have floored the BEST of'em........

    And to have the "Shepherds" call, to REMIND ME that I REALLY needed to be "AT THE MEETINGS" and ask me to turn to Hebrews and read about "not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together"...of course I knew where they were headed with that "nudge".....

    I could FEEL my anger rising, I was SO pissed at their total insensitivity, that I said "don't you think that if I could POSSIBLY be there, I'd BE there?" (No audible comment except, well-um-it's important to consider-um)

    So THEN I got REAL bold and said,"Let me share a scripture with YOU....MY personal favorite", (eye contact between the Shepherds and affirmative nods) so I proceeded to nail'em with Psalm 145:16, where it says that He will open his hand and satify the desire of every living thing.......and THAT'S what MY hope relied upon.....(murmurs and nervous comments from the Shepherds)

    I kind of commandeered the rest of the "shepherding call" (or dumped cold water on it) cuz I said I wasn't feeling well and was also supposed to get hubby's dinner ready--he'd be home in an hour.

    Never got another (formal)Shepherding Call..............and STILL wondered why even an INVITATION to "social events" wasn't forthcoming?

    It was obvious that they were only here to d-liver d-scriptures to get me to d-meetings......love and compassion had no voice in that "visit" to console and encourage.

    Which reminds me....for those that still have the "Reasoning" book.......look up "Encouragement".......and LOOK at the propaganda that constitutes "encouragement"!

    YES, I found Shepherding Calls extremely rude! (and THAT was only one!, LOL!)

    Shredded families and ruined lives;
    The WBTS has MUCH to answer for......



  • ozziepost
    Then when I became inactive, they just turned up when they felt like it, regardless of what I may have been doing.
    quote Bible scriptures to them, tell them what they are doing wrong in their life, pass judgement, and in the meantime take up an hour or more of the person's time.

    There seems to be a pattern emerging in these experiences, doesn't there? A person no longer associating,even if conscientiously, is viewed as somehow inferior. Isn't that how it appears?


    "If our hopes for peace are placed in the hands of imperfect people, they are bound to evaporate."

    - Ron Hutchcraft Surviving the Storms of Stress

  • gumby

    I made sheparding calls because it was REQUIRED to do so, though not regulated.

    We would do it as we did service....."I NEED to go out this week", my time is low......"We NEED to do a sheparding call..... we haven't done one in a while".

    You were suppose to call and set it up and call with a topic in mind. You were suppose to talk about something that would build them up.

    Service of ANY kind in the borg becomes a JOB when it is demanded of you.

  • Matty

    Ozzie, "inactive" ones, hmm, usually accompanied by the work "weak". Weak-willed, weak-minded? Unfortunately, this attitude is all too common. What happened to the "Shepherding" here? They really couldn't give a flock!

    All the sheperding calls I have had have been with my family together, and they have been very bland - but thats a deliberate tack. I make sure that I keep it simple and not too personal. They seem to want you to "open up", but I have none of it! It usually involves going through some WT article. Usually homes in on the "are we (meaning you) doing enough?" tack.

    When I'm invited to talk about my goals - I try to say just enough to keep them reasonably happy! As far as the "tell them what they are doing wrong in their life, pass judgement" tack - well, you can usually force them to be more impersonal by the style of your answering.

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