My friends visitation is tonight all of her JW family will be there

by troubled mind 15 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Today i need some encouraging support ..I will be attending my friends funeral visitation tonight .

    We had been JWs together since childhood ,and then three yrs ago she was DFd . We have supported each other these past few yrs with encouragement .She comes from a HUGE Jw family, and they all plan on attending tonight. I have known them all my life ,and they hate me for leaving the cult. They had warned her to stay away from me because they consider me an apostate .Now I have to plaster a smile on my face and play nice . That is what is making me apprehensive about the visitation .....I know the occasion needs utmost respect ,but seeing all those hateful faces turns my stomach.

    I am trying hard to suppress my anger,because just two months ago I saw several of her nieces and nephews publicly shun her ,and I saw the hurt in her eyes ...Now they will be mourning her death....Do you think they will even feel one bit of emotional conflict over how they treated her ? Or will they throw the blame back on her saying she made the choice ?

    I am thankful for her, because after she was Dfd she actually introduced me to a whole new group of friends that have helped so much in my healing process. Her husband was never a JW so they had a wider friend base than just JWs .

  • jgnat

    I have to face a similar unpleasant experience this month, and after a couple days of angst I realized that venting my anger and resentment all over virtual strangers would do nothing other than make me look like a freaking nut. I started a diary to vent my feelings.

  • ABibleStudent

    I'm sorry for your loss troubled mind. If it will not be a JW funeral, is there something that you can say about your friend to celebrate her life. It might make you feel better. Besides celebrating her life is a lot better than promoting the WTBTS.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • KateWild

    Troubled mind, you are in our thoughts, I hope tonight is not too stressful for you and you have peace as you return home later. love Kate xx

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Troubled Mind, First (((Hugs))) to you for all the emotional trauma you have been through in losing your childhood friend.

    You have been strong, putting up with a lot.


    You said "I have to plaster on a smile and play nice".

    There is another way to do it, if you want.

    Do you know what "stoic" means? That is the way I would handle it.

    Stoic means you don't show what you are feeling and accept whatever happens.

    You become calm almost without emotion.

    You act with indifference to the way that you know they will treat you.

    You act unaffected by pain, suffering, joy .

    It sounds like the JW family will want to give you the cold shoulder of friendship with scripted out instructions from their Mothership. lol

    Would it be socially acceptable to stick close to the never was a JW grieving husband. They HAVE to be nice to him. And her children. They will be going through a rough patch for sometime .

    We will be thinking about you this evening.

    Stay strong Girl. You can do it!


  • Xanthippe

    Thinking of you Troubled Mind. I know it's hard, I've been to too many family funerals with JW relatives. Will they feel conflicted over their treatment of your friend, yes I think so. They will probably act very weirdly because they are conflicted. You will probably find you draw strength from having known your dear friend and having known true unconditional friendship. So glad she introduced you to a group of supportive friends. You will get through this, take care.

  • ruderedhead

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Troubled Mind. You'll be in my thoughts.

    Try to stay calm and be gracious in order to honor your dear friend. It might be hard, but you can do it. Don't give the ones that likje to gossip anything to talk about. Talk about what an exceptional person your friend was, loving, forgiving, kind. Did she still believe in God? Perhaps you could comment on how she valued her relationship with Him.

    Please know that many of us on here will be thinking of you. You know you can come here to vent when it's over, so if you're angry, bring it back here.

    All the best.

  • carla

    I'm sorry for your loss. Sorry also that you have to endure the jw's at such a difficult time.

  • anonymouz

    Sorry about your friend.

    Yep, it's too late to lighten up on the shunning ice at a funeral, but I guess better than nothing. Sad to see a Bethel neo-papacy is the actual instigator of this kind of hurt, confusion and their own bloodguilt. It sort of signifies the Bethel organizational funeral is actually what is in progress, they just have not interred the governing "body" yet.

    Christ's boot heel interring that lawless body will let all know when they are buried, and even misled JWs can start to heal if they can let go of the orgnaizational idols once they are buried for good.

    (Isaiah 1:4-6) Woe to the sinful nation (that would be JWs), the people heavy with error, an evildoing seed, ruinous sons! They have left Jehovah, they have treated the Holy One of Israel with disrespect (such as UN NGO), they have turned backwards. 5 Where else will you be struck still more, in that you add more revolt? (JWs never seem to actually learn, more is coming) The whole head is in a sick condition (that would be the GB Bethel system), and the whole heart is feeble. (that would be the whole congregational system) 6 From the sole of the foot even to the head there is no sound spot in it. Wounds and bruises and fresh stripes—they have not been squeezed out or bound up, nor has there been a softening with oil.

    And that pretty much describes the modern JW relic of the past.

    (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14) Moreover, brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping [in death]; that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope. 14 For if our faith is that Jesus died and rose again, so, too, those who have fallen asleep [in death] through Jesus God will bring with him.

    God and Christ are the hope, not imperfect humans or their eventually corrupted "bodies".

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Thanks for all the thoughts .

    Things went fairly well all the Witnesses stayed on their own side of the room . We mingled among the normal attendants . She was loved by many and her husbands family and friends filled the place . For three solid hours the line was out the door . Her husbands employer even made a huge financial gesture tonight to help with the medical bills . I think the 'worldly ones ' made a great witness to unconditional friendship and love .

    It was awkward at the meal afterwards to see all my old silent 'friends' ,but I positioned myself with my back to most of them and enjoyed the company of others instead .

    As to her wishes there was no religious ceremony of any kind only a visitation with the family .

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