I need a cigarette.

by butalbee 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • butalbee
    butalbee

    Ok, the good news is I'm on vacation: a time when I should just relax, have fun, do things I like to do when I want to do them, stay up all night, sleep all day, whatever. but, I picked of all times to *try* to quit smoking. I used to smoke like only when I was drinking, or if I had a really bad day at work, but lately due to a stupid ass man in my life and my family fighting, I have been smoking more than I should. I haven't had a cigarette all day and I'm stressing big time. Okay, I would walk through a pit of hot coals just to inhale the satisfying smoke of my friend nicotine. I have half a pack just staring at me, I hear them saying, "smoke me, we know you want to" and I'm really finding it hard to resist. Just one wouldn't be bad, right? Maybe I'll take one out of the box and carress it w/ my fingers, hold it in my mouth, pick up this lighter and give in to this uncontollable temptation. I don't need moral support here, I need a god damn cigarette. My mother says I should suck some hard candy and keep busy, yeah mom, it's really that easy. The dimwit in my life brought me a puzzle to "occupied my thoughts". Well, the puzzle and some crap that he left at my house(AWAKE mag and one of his shirts) I throw out on my front lawn, poured some gas on them and set them on fire. A neighbor just happened to walk by, and ask what I was doing, I told her, "Oh, just burning an ant hill". She looked at me like I was nuts. So I am, that's no secret, nor do I pretend to be sane. I just want a cigarette.

  • Solace
    Solace

    Ohhhhhh,
    Vacation!!!
    Whats that?!
    Im jealouse!!!
    Congratulations on your choice to kick the habit!
    I was told that it is really the "deep breathing" that is so relaxing. Maybe try that or take up Yoga or other relaxation methods.

    Im not a smoker so Im just trying to help.
    I hope you are successful!!

  • DB
    DB

    It is a tough, tough, habit to break, that's for sure. I don't envy you one bit...and hopefully, you can break free from the habit if it's what you want.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire
    I have half a pack just staring at me, I hear them saying, "smoke me, we know you want to"

    The demon of cigarette has penetrated you!!

    Well, the puzzle and some crap that he left at my house(AWAKE mag and one of his shirts) I throw out on my front lawn, poured some gas on them and set them on fire

    Your neighbours must switch their TVs off and watch you all evening Buta! Topless lawn mowing...Pires on the front lawn... Lol

    You is funny

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    buta has cut me off from her online contacts.

    no.
    NOOo.
    NOoooo!!
    Please God...say it isnt so...

  • butalbee
    butalbee

    Yep, hun, you are cut off. lol.

    See ya later, darling!

  • Marilyn
    Marilyn

    If you don't quit now you surely will when you walk thru the hospital doors to have your lung removed. That's when my friend finally quit. He says he keeps a pack in his work shop still, but he'll never smoke again after his diagnosis.

    Hey I'm not being all superior here. I've stopped a 28 yr drinking habit (not excessive but daily) because I've learned that alcohol is associated with a 40% increase risk of breast cancer - especially in people with family history - which I have. I also LOVE good wine and gin and tonics and brandy and drys and rum and cokes and............. any alcohol basically. But I have been off it for many months now. I know how difficult it is to stop a much loved habit but actually I'm now at the point of prefering soberness instead of that hazy vagueness I had every nite from 5 pm onwards.

    Marilyn

  • butalbee
    butalbee

    What I wouldn't give for a glass of wine in one hand and a nice long cigarette in the other. God, I'm an addict.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    goldurn it...
    refiner, a broken man shuffles off towards the beckoning darkness of the abyss...

  • LB
    LB

    Butal you are my favorite junky. I love that cigarette animation on there. I've stolen it already.

    Good luck to you.


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

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