Ding
Lying to children
by jwfacts 50 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
jwfacts
Kids find out as they get older that thier parents indulged them in a fantasy
I think that is an important point. A child does not usually consider they were lied to, as when they get older they recognise it is normal and acceptable fun. It is different than lying to children about daily things, after which a child will stop trusting their parents.
-
wasblind
Thank you jwfacts
Jehovah's Witnesses lied to their kids tellin' them that they would never grow old
or finish highschool in this system
That's much more harmful than the Tooth fairy or Santa
-
laverite
Paranoia agent wrote: "Buy a book on child psychology that is taught in tertiary education, or try google scholar for peer review articles on parent child relationships."
Thanks for the tip, but as a tenured professor of psychology, I have that covered quite nicely already. Sorry to say that you were wrong in your post.
To reply to a question by telling someone to buy a book, rather than explain your claim with empirical evidence is beyond flimsy. You made some broad claims, offered no evidence whatsoever, and when asked about that, you reply by saying buy a book. Nice.
Cult Classic wrote: "Make believe and fantasy has its place in the development of kids. It's not a bad thing. Most kids will seek/figure out the truth in a reasonable time." Your reply was this: " cult classic: psychological studies have said the exact opposite, what are you basing that on?" To claim that psychological studies say that make believe and fantasy do NOT have a place in child development is NOT true. No such studies exist. And to claim that children will not seek out for figure out the truth (e.g. separating fact from fantasy) is equally ridiculous. Total rubish.
It's quite rich that you asked for Cult Classic to back up statements with evidence (e.g. asking what are you basing that on?). Yet, when you were asked basically the same thing you reply with buy a book.
-
ruderedhead
jwfacts, a couple dollars under his pillow will be more than enough.
Glad you decided to let him enjoy the tooth fairy for now. Even as a jw, I indulged my kids in the Tooth Fairy story, and not one of them turned out any the worse for it. No apparent psychological damage was done, and they all still confide in me, so I guess they still trust me. Enjoy these times with him, they truly do grow too fast!!
-
tenyearsafter
Billions of children have grown up with Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and other fictional characters. I doubt highly that any have received any long term damage from the chidhood fantasies. In this day and age, children are forced to grow up much faster than we did...let them enjoy the wonders of these fantasy creations. They will be jolted in to realty soon enough!!
-
adamah
10 yrs later said-
Billions of children have grown up with Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and other fictional characters. I doubt highly that any have received any long term damage from the chidhood fantasies.
True, but billions of people ALSO believe in ghosts, angels, Gods, etc. Not a compelling argument, IMO, since it all starts by accepting fantasy thinking as the norm.
Jwfacts, play along, but as he gets older, you'd be a negligent parent NOT to use Santa/TF as a teaching/learning experience about the dangers of allowing fantasy and pretend-thinking to win out over logic and reason. Ask him some leading questions along the way as he gets older to get him thinking about about the mechanics of the idea, eg "how does Santa deliver all the toys to all the children of the Earth over a 24 hour period"? Let HIM figure it out, teaching him not to suppress the cognitive dissonance, but to allow doubts to grow in his mind until the light finally turns on in HIS head and HE figures it is impossible.
It's a powerful lesson of not allowing delusions and emotional wants and wishes control our thinking, and then when he gets much older, he'll likely look back and realize you were doing him a great favor by developing his intellect, while allowing him the joys of fantasy of being a child.
Adam
-
cyberjesus
A lie..it's a lie. Paradise, angels, tooth fairies, santa clause, chupacabra....
Depending on your culture you will tell a fantasy story.... if you want to make that also part of your children's culture.
I was happier knowing the other kids were fooled and not me... that's why I left the jws when I found out it was all a lie.
We don't live on the age of having to use of stories to distract kids...we have iPads androids and Google.
-
-
tenyearsafter
Adam...I would agree with your line of reasonng, except very few adults that I am aware of still believe in Santa or the the Tooth Fairy! The same can't be said of ghosts, spirits, etc...
I do agree, that at some point, reality has to be seperated from fantasy...the timing is the issue. I personally, don't see harm in a little fantasy when the kids are young...as I mentioned before, reality will come crashing in on them soon enough!