Ex JW Down and Outs.

by refiners fire 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • lauralisa

    Hi Refiners,

    Since leaving, I've recaptured my mind and my life.

    I've never been happier or more accomplished professionally than NOW. I've come a LONG way, too.

    If I had stayed in the borg, there is no question that I'd have elected to get off of this planet; if I had remained believing that the lifestyle available through "God's visible organization" was the ONLY viable choice, I would have given up all hope and just said "it's not worth it...."

    because it WASN'T WORTH IT

    What is your agenda? You are doing a lot of polling these days.



  • rebelledat12

    The JWs set you up for failure if you leave. You can do a lot of drugs and screw around a LOT before you realize that you can think for yourself. A lot of my destructive behavior in my teen years was my unconsious self doing what was "expected" of me - killing myself with bad habits. It was like they were pointing at me and telling their kids "this is what happens when you leave Jehovah". The JWs always loved to ask my Dad what I was doing when the answers were juicy. Now that I am better off (wonderful husband, excelling in college at 24, great friends and most of all - HAPPINESS) than most of them, they don't want to hear about me.
    It's all about knowing what YOU need. Not what they tell you that you need.

  • neyank

    I think the "down and out" description fits a large percent of society in general.
    Not just ex JWs.


  • Prisca

    My life has improved since I left.

    I'm not dragged down by the depression and lack of self-respect I once had as an ex-jw.

    I have a well-paying job, earning more than most males my age.

    I do rent, and have no chance in the near future of buying a house, but that was because I believed in the Society's mantra of the New System coming "just around the corner". Hence, I spent money that could have easily gone into a deposit for a house. But, I'm not bitter, as I still have 30-odd years of employment ahead of me.

    In the process of leaving the JWs, I've learnt far more about myself than I ever thought possible.

    I don't regret leaving for one second, nor do I use my life as a JW as an excuse for my problems.

    I've learnt to be accountable for the problems I have had, and accepted responsibility in overcoming them. To me, that is what being a balanced, sucessful adult is all about.

  • anewlife

    BECK: After reading your post I had to reply...your story is very similar to mine. I left pretty much everything to the ex. Moved out and let my sons stay with their father. Now they choose to be with me. They also have left the organization and tell me they are much happier and glad I left. I've been DF'd two years next week and in some things life is easier, in others life is hard. One day at a time and on the right track, however. I would thoroughly enjoy hearing your story and "making a new friend" if you'd like. It really helps to have people (even if it's only here at this post)to talk to and bounce things off of.

    So back to the question, I'm full-time employed with a great job I've been at for 11 years, financially I'm actually doing better than I was when married (actually have some cash in my pocket) and my stress level is tremendously reduced. I couldn't believe the everyday aches and pains in my shoulders and neck literally went away the day I decided I was never going back to the KH. So I guess I'm also in the 25% and feeling pretty good about it!

  • Beck_Melbourne

    anewlife...thanks for sharing your comments. Please email me at [email protected]....I can't access your email. I agree that it helps to have people as resources..to tap into their experiences and to share their ideas. I love reading the experiences of others also...there is something comforting in knowing that someone else has walked along a similar path to our own.

    Please email me when you can...would love to hear from you and share stories. I'll go put the jug on in anticipation


  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Thanks for looking after the thread for me Beck.
    I been occupied all afternoon.

    Maybe its you RF...maybe you're an 'oobie' magnet

    Only YOU could have said it without giving offence.Beck!

    No agenda. Im just trying to post subjects that people might find interesting to think about.
    Thanks for all input,...
    looks like Im an "oobie magnet"

  • hippikon

    LONG term unemployed
    psychiatric problems
    dont have a stable relationship
    destroyed lives
    fantasy world

    Nope – left all that behind when I walked out of the KH and started living in the real world. Unless enjoying oral sex makes me a psychological deviant of some kind as the Watchtower would have us beleive?

    Only 1 of them is a reasonable financial success – He sued right?

    people with big issues with the WT – I went through that phase. Still bummed out about wasting 20 years though.

    The quicker you get on with your life though, the faster you're going to heal.

    Never was a truer word spoken. My experience is that most who leave the collective do exactly that and just don’t want to talk about it or be reminded! Those who are active “apostates” are a very small minority of those who leave.

    The real emotional and intellectual cripples are those that stayed behind.

    BTW: I’m doing just fine but I suppose satan looks after his own.

  • gravedancer

    I am down and out.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    sorry to hear it GD.

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