Ex JW Down and Outs.

by refiners fire 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  refiners fire

  A large proportion of the ex JWs I know and stay in contact with are pretty much down and out.
  I stay in contact with 4 from my past.
  Out of the 4:
  3 of them are LONG term unemployed.
  3 of those have psychiatric problems.
  2 of them dont have a stable relationship.
  Only 1 of them is a reasonable financial success.

  My perception of the ex dub world is one of destroyed lives and, too a large degree, hopelessness.I base this perception on those Ex dubs I know. Course, they are all HARD CORE apostates. people with big issues with the WT.
  Is my perception wrong?

  Also, a lady pointed out to me that her ex dub hubby lives in a fantasy world, obsessing over internet fantasy, and that he had no interest in the reality of marriage, responsibility and family.
  It occurred to me that these same people I know are like that too.
  Obsessed with magic, ufos, and internet chat sights to the detriment of real world activities.

  Have I just accessed a bad cross sample?
  Do ex dubs have a problem integrating into harsh reality?
  Curious as to your opinions.
• 

  ThiChi

  Funny, your description of xJws perfectly describes the JW people/congregation that I left.....
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  Frenchy

  I never get on the internet.
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  sunscapes

  Well, let's see in my case....I have stable job, stable relationship, am only psycho sometimes and don't do anything stupid with my money, and invest for the long term....so I guess I fit into your 25%. I have more hope now than I ever did, and I have always had issues with the Society.....I probably spend an average time on the net, some time here....have family responsibilities.......

  I'm not obsessed with magic, paranormal, ufo's....but I do listen to Coast-to-coast AM often.....but not to the detriment of everything else.....but then I've spent considerable time getting to where I am today.

  Your majority cross sample would have applied to me much more 10 years ago, however!
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  julien

  I have a great job, great wife, great stepkids, great inlaws, great house + neighborhood. I am agnostic and have issues with the WTS but I wouldn't say I am obsessed or unbalanced about it. I don't buy into pseudo science, ufo crap, ESP, remote viewing or anything like that.

  I was raised a witness and left at about age 26. I am inactive and still able to have a semi normal relationship with my siblings and parents. My life has never been better; I count my blessings daily.
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  Marilyn

  I'm in the 25% of doing great catagory. My husband who is an exjw is an associate professor of education. We have a very nice house in Melbourne (we own) and we have our retirement package already saved up in the bank. We have been happily married for 30 years and our two kids are doing well. One is a doctor and the other studying genetics at Uni. We don't drink much (finally broke the long term habit) and we exercise religiously. We try to be crazy but we used up most of our crazy genes during our years in the Organisation.

  We are mr and mrs average.

  Marilyn
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  noidea

  <~~~~looks around nervously...."I'm glad I don't have any if those problems"..

  ~Noi~
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  MegaDude

  I was "screwed" in the head when I came out of the JWs a few years ago. That's fairly NORMAL, if you've heard anyone's story. The quicker you get on with your life though, the faster you're going to heal. One of my sisters in her late thirties has started going to college, in addition to working fulltime as an executive at her job, and raising her 14 year old son. She's working hard, kicking ass, and doing very well. So is my other sister who made the difficult transition out of the JWs and finished college. She's doing very well also.

  I was fortunate that I bucked the system as a Dub and got at least a trade school education. At least I'm not stripping and waxing floors at night like my former JW brethren. Two of sisters left with me, so I've had their support and friendship despite losing other family, a marriage and many friends. I am also lucky that I live in Dallas/Ft. Worth, which rivals Florida for being the apostate capital of the United States, so I have some great ex JW pals.

  It took a long time to feel good again, but I did. With all the support out there, locally and online, there has never been a better time to leave Jehovah's Witnesses and make a good recovery.
• 

  Beck_Melbourne

  Maybe its you RF...maybe you're an 'oobie' magnet

  Beck
• 

  patio34

  RF, you said:

  A large proportion of the ex JWs I know and stay in contact with are pretty much down and out.
  I stay in contact with 4 from my past.

  It seems to me that that's an odd choice of words, "large proportion" of only four people.

  Out of the 4:
  3 of them are LONG term unemployed.
  3 of those have psychiatric problems.
  2 of them dont have a stable relationship.
  Only 1 of them is a reasonable financial success.

  It also seems that the only problem that is not common today among many people is #1. It all depends what your definitions of psychiatric problems, financial success, are. Many people see a therapist that do not have "psychiatric problems," but are the "worried well," and take advantage of seeing a professional. Finacially successful means what to you?

  Conclusions such as you posit need to be drawn from a much larger group of people, rather than four.

  Pat