Ex JW Down and Outs.

by refiners fire 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • TR

    I'm a hard-core apostate and I'm doing great! Of course, I haven't had my family shun me, either. I wasn't raised in the troof, so I didn't develop any "best friends" to lose.


    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

  • out4good3

    Let's see......

    When I was a dub spending ooogles amount of time preparing for meetings and peddling magazines I was broke, stuck in a dead end job, renting an apartment, living check to check, barely high school educated, and driving a POS car with no auto or health insurance.

    What a difference one smart decision can make?

    Since I freed myself from the spiritual, emotional, and financial slavery of the borg, I've educated myself, got a computer job with a real future, a FAT mortgage, money in the bank, and driving my dream car. I'm able to provide for my family better than I ever have.

    All the while maintaining a 20 year successful relationship with my still somewhat believing wife.

    I'd say I'm part of that successful 25%.

  • DakotaRed
    A large proportion of the ex JWs I know and stay in contact with are pretty much down and out.
    I stay in contact with 4 from my past.
    Out of the 4:
    3 of them are LONG term unemployed.

    I have been with my current employer a little over 12 years and in my trade just over 35 years.

    3 of those have psychiatric problems.
    The soon to be ex dub wife is on all kinds of mood controlling drugs as are her three kids. All are still active. I am on Lopressor for High Blood Pressure, but as the separation moves forward and I am further removed from the dubs, my blood pressure is gradually coming down.

    2 of them dont have a stable relationship.
    Guilty as charged. How dare me expect to be treated cordially and decently by the visiting dubs in my own house. After all, "I knew what to expect when I DA'd." (Quoted from the dub wife.)

    The relationship with the non-dub daughters and their spouses and grandchildren couldn't be better.

    Only 1 of them is a reasonable financial success.
    I am earning about 40K a year, not wealthy but not a pauper either.

    Thanks for letting me know how bad off I am. Makes me want to rush back to the Kingdumb Hall right away. Well, on second thought, maybe another time.

    If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

  • butalbee
    Do ex dubs have a problem integrating into harsh reality?
    Curious as to your opinions.

    I think dubs are coddled from the real world, shielded from what real life is all about, and once that they leave they no longer have their congregation to fall back on, and they have to then try like hell to fit into a enstranged world filled w/ sex addicts and fruitcakes, politicians, and the morally challenged that they had never opened up their eyes to before...And the real world w/out those watchtower walls to protect is a scarey place.

  • biblexaminer

    I am an xJW at heart... soon I will quit and I will b e an xJW in reality... does that count?

    I have a very happy family life, wife & kids. when the BORG doesn't get in the way....

    I am not depressed or on any meds.

    I have no debt at all, have a nice home and two cars, and I have a good job... $110,000+yr. Of course I am bucking the BORG.

    I have major issues with the WTS and conduct a gurilla war against the TOWER OF POWER. I am chiseling away successfully.

    I don't beileve in flying saucers, except for the time I made my mom real angry when she was washing dishes about 20 years ago.

    OH.. and I have lots and lots of computers, stamps, envelopes and literature which exposes the BORG TOWER and I am damned well using it.

    I can't wait to hear the next disfellowshipping announcement. I will have to check my list to see whose neighborhood I hit last.LOL

  • Beck_Melbourne

    I don't know if this makes sense...but when you exit the borg...there are definitely going to be issues to deal with....depending on each individual situation. Our ability to pick up our lives and to establish ourselves on the outside can depend on surrounding variables. For me...I was lucky enough to have Andy, and his family. I also had an older brother who was DF a couple of years before me...so moral support and understanding was there for the taking. Not everyone has a supportive network of worldly friends and exjw relatives....some have to go it alone and try and establish normality for themselves. This could be difficult for some...but easy for others.

    I have to admit that my contact with exjw's is limited to this DB...but as for non-exjw 'oobies'...me thinks me is a magnet too *sigh*


  • singsongboi

    i was "enticed" into the spiritual paradise when i was 17, i was 59 when i got chucked out, and OH! so nicely told to go crawl in the gutter!!!

    Nicely?? ..... yes, they were a bit scared of being sued... that's why they df'ed me for NOT trusting my brothers and confessing to my sins, instead of the REAL charge of homosexuality. david winder, PO in the congregation where i was, went out of his way to stress that.

    because , i figured none of this was my ex-wife's fault, i gave her EVERYTHING we had materially and still got asked for more, and accused of some very terrible things which were not true!!!

    the first 6 months was agony, but then i --- and here i can intro. the wonderful mr koh, whose name i am proud to take (hence kennikoh in my email address).. met that same mr koh and my life became better than ever!!!

    in the close to 13 years since meeting him, we have bought and own outright our own home, i have money in the bank.. okie work, where i can increasingly be in control... in 2001 i took the year off to study, -- could do that, because we help each other

    and can look forward to a reasonable and interesting retirement - attending university to do a degree...

    all this in spite of the same judicial committee, telling other gay guys expelled from that same congregation that i am going to be a lonely old man!!!

    false prophets indeed!!!!!

  • Parsnips

    I think you have some hate issues you need to adress. I am disfellowshipped, and I have an excellent job, a loving husband, and more understanding of the real world than you will ever have. I hope you don't have to live in a proctected shell you're entire life.

  • Marilyn

    singsongboi - great story. Were you 59 when you were kicked out? That inspires me to think my brothers still have time to wake up.

    Not sure who Parsnips is addressing. But welcome aboard P.


  • Beck_Melbourne

    Who are you talking to Parsnips? Welcome to the DB by the way...there was no hate issue here btw hon.

    singsongboi...I am clapping my hands and applauding. You left everything to your exwife and yet your life since has been enhanced a hundred times over. I have to agree..I left everything except $500 when I left the ex...the kids...both cars...the house...interests in his business...the lot. I moved away with a crushed and broken spirit...hiding from my shame and the shunning of my friends and family.

    Now? In a loving relationship...soon to be taking on his name also ...All of my kids are with me because they WANT to be...We recently moved into our new dream house...we live in a great neighbourhood with terrific neighbours...we both have great jobs...we interact with our ex partners with ease and with few disagreements...and as a couple we have met and have some great friends (one of my best friends posts on here btw). Life is good!


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